Friday, August 1, 2008

Larry and I Workin' Up a Sweat in My Garage

Oh, get your minds out of the gutter! Larry's gay, remember? He certainly wouldn't be working up a sweat THAT way with ME! What was I doing in the garage with Larry, you ask? Well, getting extensions put in my hair, of course! Okay, okay, let me back it up a tiny bit. Last week when I went in to get my hair cut I had all intentions of having blue extensions put in my hair again (remember, I've mentioned before that I'm 38 with the mentality of a 22 year old), but Larry only had one blue extension left, so I let my niece Alexa have that one. Now, this didn't make for a happy Tiney. After all, I'd already stormed in there like an animal, yelling at Larry and anyone who would listen, about him letting me walk around with sperm-brows all this time. But, Larry told me he'd make more and that he could put it in my hair on Thursday at his house. He only lives about 5 houses down from me. Mucho convenience!

So I called him yesterday and our conversation went a bit like this:

Me: "Hi Larry, how's it going? What are you up to?"
Larry: "Oh, just mopping the floors, doing what we have to do in life."
Me: "Did you get a chance to make the extensions for me and Madison?" (And yes, Bridget and Becky, that's how I said it. Not "Madison and I". Who the hell really talks like that in everyday life?)
Larry: "I sure did. Two blue for you, one pinkish -purple for Madison."
Me: "What time do you want me to stop by?"
Larry: "Oh God, you can't come here! The dogs have been loud all day and the house is a wreck. I'll come to your house."
Me: "No!!!!!!!! You can't come to my house! It's all nasty and there are My Little Ponies from one end to the other."
Larry: "My house looks worse than yours."
Me: "Nope, my house is way nastier and I'm not letting you in! So now what are we gonna do?"
Larry: "Well, we could meet in your garage."
Me: :::::::::::::heeheeheeeeeeee:::::::::: "Are you kidding me? Well, okay, what time will ya be here?"
Larry: "I'll be in your garage at 1:00."

And so that's how I came to be getting extensions in my 100 billion degree garage. Picture it. Summer in north Florida. A stuffy garage with a bag of old trash not three feet away from where we sit. Air thick as soup. Mikayla, looking cool as a cucumber, snapping away with the camera as I sit there with my hair not done, makeup- free, with nothing on my face except tinted moisturizer that is oozing down my face along with the sweat.

First goes Madison. Why isn't she sweating?

Almost done...

Ah, pretty!

Ooh, my turn! My turn! Geez, what's that smell?

Hurry up, Larry. I'm melting here! "Girl!? Am I looking cool and dry to you?"

This is what I have to say to that!

What IS this thing anyway? It looks like I've got a blood clot sitting on my head.

And what AM I pointing at here? "One wrong move with the extension, Larry, and I'm neutering you!"

Ooh, almost done. Just a few snip-snips. Aw, shit! I'm so sweaty I've now got blue hair stuck all over my arm! Oh well, all in the name of beauty! Or in this case crazy, wacky, funkiness!

This just goes to show ya that Tiney can blog about just about anything. But really, who do you know over the age of 20 (not including old lady blue-hairs!) that has blue in their hair? And who do you know that would have it done in their damn garage? No one, right? I am one cool chickadee if I do say so myself.

Until next time, Justine :o )

23 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Bridget

    ROFL, the pointing pic and the blog title are a hoot!
    You and Katie were meant for each other...too bad you live on opposite coasts...if only we still lived in Florida!
    You should see Katie's hair right more beauty queen!

  • Tootsie

    you know...I need you to live next door...I love you. You make me smile. I love the pointing pic...see you in a week baby! may try to see you in the morning before I go on my week ....if I don't see you....luv ya..and thanks for everything!

  • Anonymous

    Ok so now I'm looking out for a wild woman, with blue hair and eyebrows all over her face? - nice!

    btw you really shouldn't be smoking with eyebrows like that!

    Your garage is much tidier than mine.

  • Penny

    I'm at a loss for words! Just when I think you can't top sperm brows you get blue streaks from a bleached haired guy in your garage! I would have liked pink to go with that ultra cool top you had on, but blue is good.


  • onlymehere

    Actually Justine "did you make the extensions for Madison and me" is proper English! I enjoyed this post!

  • Justine

    But i said it "me and Madison". Does that make a difference? LOL

    Justine :o )

  • Anonymous

    Hey Crazy Lady... you keep me laughing! I love the blue streaks! Oh yeah... remind me to kick your butt for saying Lena Horne is ugly!!! Those are fighting words girl! (Fiss balled up...) LOL...

    TTYL.. on my way out again! :)


  • Buffie

    wibit! Your hair looks cute and Madison's too!

  • .Nicotine.Queen.

    Thanks for popping by! You had me at sperm-brows.
    Looking forward to reading more!

  • Shelia

    Justiney! You are the koo koo kuulest gal I know! This is so funny! I see that finger, girl! Madison is so sweet here with her pinkness - hey, it's Pink Saturday!
    You look marvelous with your blue hair. Now what is Larry going to do with your spermy eyebrows? I have them too, don't I?

    Oh, about the pie bird. In olden days - I'm not too sure how 'olden' when a gal would put her homemade piecrust on the top of her pie, she would sit this little pie bird right down in the center of the crust. I'm sure she'd cute little slits for the bird to poke thru. Then when the pie baked the steam would escape out of the little birdie beak. Thus, the term pie bird. Sounds silly, doesn't it? But they sure are cute. If I bake a pie - my crusts come right from the grocery store and I just poke a hole in the top with a knife! I'm not getting pie sweetnessess all over my little bird!
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia :)

  • Raxx - A day in the life

    Your hairdresser looks like the gay guy from design star that was voted off and wanted him mommy!

    I have no gay friends! And they are normally such a hoot to be around.

    You are lucky he endured that heat for you! Sounds like a true friend.


  • Naz

    ROTFL....a hot garage in Florida isn't my idea of fun but you sure made it look like fun. Too funny.

  • mrsben

    First all kinds of goodies from Italy and now your Hairdresser makes a house call. God you're spoiled!!

    Love the 'blue' extensions!!! How is he at weaving eyebrows????? :D

    Changing the subject, when you have a spare minute; you should pop over to Angelo's Blog and read his 2nd most recent posting. You might find it interesting....since you were so da*n reluctant to go to Hugh's 115th Birthday Party. Ha!Ha!

  • French

    Ohh Justiney you are a funy girl! Just once I would like to try extensions! French;)

  • Naz

    I'm finding that I'm problem free in getting to your blog now. I'll be popping in now all the time. You are one very funny lady! Thanks for all the laughs.

  • Justine

    I'm soooooooooo glad to hear it, Naz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Justine :o )

  • nikkicrumpet

    TOO FUNNY...thanks ever so much for the laughs. After an exhausting day at work it was just what I needed!

  • Shelia

    Evening Justiney! You're not still in the garage with Larry are you? You know people are gonna talkif you are! Just checking in on you and am hoping you'll join the Daring Darling Bathroom Beauty Snapping Divas. There's a few brave souls out there! I know you're one of them.
    BE a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  • Life on Bonnie Lane

    Well darn, when I read that you and some guy were working up a sweat, I was hoping that you were gonna be taking the blogworld into rated R territory!

    The hair stuff does really look cool though!


    P.S. I think that showing a pink bra for Pink Saturday would be hilarious!

  • SchmeckyGirl


    It is "for me and Madison"!!! You wouldn't say "for I" would you? You really need some grammar lessons!

  • aimee

    What *is* that red thing?! Love your streaks and Madison's too!

  • Heather

    ROFL at this and LOVE the blue hair!!

    I mean, I'm a yankee (a New Yorker as I am) and we all are pretty sure y'all down in Florida are a bunch of Blue hairs anyhow, hee hee hee! ;)

    Just popped over here from SITS, love the froggy blog and will be back when I have more time (almost bath and bedtime for my kiddo...)


  • Nikki via The Scarlett Rose Garden

    ROFLMAO... I'm trying to think of the craziest place I've done hair. But it's 1am and I can't think right now.
    Cool streaks!