Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I’m No Longer a Wordless Wednesday Virgin!


Yep, it’s my first time doing this, so go easy on me people.  You know I don’t do wordless, but I’ll try and keep it short!  When you’re through here, go visit Dixie and check out all the other WW posts!



Mikayla, at 7, Madison at 3, as flower girls in cousins David and Tajha’s wedding.

Utah, 2004



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Here’s my sweet Madison this past December, 2008, at 7 years old.  Ain’t she cute?




I mean, come on.  How could you not love that face, right?

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But then this happened.  Her baby tooth fell out and this is what grew in.  A tooth in the exact shape of a candy corn!  Now aptly called her “snaggletooth”.

Picture 011Boy, these macro shots really mess up the appearance of a face, don’t they?

So anyway, the other front tooth finally fell out and now, alongside her snaggletooth, she’s got a humongous adult tooth coming in.  Perfectly square.  I do believe there’s some cosmetic dentistry in her future, don’t you?

That was only 190 words.  Not too bad, right?

Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

Tiney’s What the Hell is THAT? Answers Revealed!

Ah, this was just a load of fun for me!  I think it was a great idea to keep the comments unpublished.  Made all of you cheaters really sit and think! 

Okay, here we go!

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My favorite answers to this were from Jason, who said it was the inside of my nasal cavity, and from Nikki, who thought it was the inside of Jill’s nasal cavity, and Gigi, who thought it was frozen snot.

The only people to get this right either, a) have one of their own, or b), already knew I had one.

It’s Madison’s glow in the dark ant farm!

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 Picture 029Quite a few of you got this one right.

My beloved Sligh clock.

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 Picture 032 Quite a few also got this one right.  Tiney’s powder room crapper!

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 Picture 034 I’ll admit.  This one was really hard.  It came out blurry, partly because Jimmy was holding it and it was swinging back and forth.  Rachelle wins the funniness award for this one. She said it look like a hairy butt with a black crack.  Heeheehee!

My petunias that fell off the shepherd’s hook because we had a wicked storm and the plant got so heavy it bent the hook nearly in half!

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5) Picture 036 Oh, the laughs I got out of this one!  Kady, Nikki and Becky all think this resembled some skanky hoo hoo.  Come on girls, when is the last time you’ve seen a pointy vajayjay?  And Diane thought it looked like something covered in bird doo doo.

It’s the dried-up fronds on my fan palm!

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 Picture 038 I’ll admit, this was a  crappy picture, but some of you got it anyway!  I won’t point out the sillies who thought it was the inside of a moving van.  Heeheehee!

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Thanks for playing along!  This was a ton of fun.  Stay tuned because you never know what I might take pictures of next!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

It’s Time To Play… Tiney’s What the Hell is THAT?

Before we begin the game, I just want to give a great big hug and shout-out to my new friend, Lori, over at Basketball, Gymnastics, and Me. I won her pre-giveaway for her big birthday giveaway in May, and got my box just the other day! Look at the cute stuff she sent!

There was also a really pretty votive holder in the box, but it didn’t make it. Shattered, like my heart. But look! A cute bunny bag, a notepad, a pretty necklace, two holder-less candles and special dog toys just for Strudel! Oh, joyness!

I could tell you that I was sitting upon the potty when I opened the box, and I could tell you that one of bunny’s eyes fell off and I found it down my pants, but you guys don’t want to hear all that, right? So I won’t tell.

Thank you, Lori!!!


Okay, let the games (game) begin! You all know the rules. I post the pictures and you guys have to guess what you’re looking at. The only prize to be won is my undying gratitude for playing. Now no cheating! No looking at other people’s answers, ya hear? Have fun!

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Hmmm... I've just decided not to post the comments right away. Too many of you are cheating stinkers!

Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

Until Next Time, Justine

Friday, March 27, 2009

More Things Jill Won’t Tell You

Now I know you’re all aware of just how much I love and adore my sister, Jill, right?  But by now you also know that I often refer to her as “stupid”, “goofy” and “brain dead”.  All said out of complete, unconditional love, of course.

I realize that a lot of these “Jillisms”, as I like to refer to them, are more of a had to be there kind of thing, but it would go against my nature not to share them with the world.  If Jill can unintentionally cause me to piddle in my panties,wouldn’t it be sad not to give her Jilly Sillies at least an honorable mention? 

One day last month, Jill was driving Wayne (the disabled man she lives with and cares for) to a doctor appointment.  As usual, she was on the phone with me, because her phone is basically surgically implanted to her outer ear.  Mobile Phone  Anyway, Jill says, “Okay, I’d better go, ‘cause we’re here.”  Almost immediately after that she starts laughing like a loon.  “Okay Jill, what did you do now???  And Jill says, “I’m not at Wayne’s doctor’s office!  I took him to the vet by accident!


Wayne finally realizes, “So THAT’s why she’s got me in a cage!  I knew I wasn’t going to have my sinuses checked!”



Another time Jill and I were discussing something she was planning to buy, and I guess she felt the need to justify the expenditure.  She said, “It’s not like I do a lot of fribilous spending.”  Now believe it or not, this is not the first time Jill has used this word in place of frivolous.  It seems that the older she gets, the more she’s taking on my Dad’s talent of making up his own words in place of the ones you’d normally find in the dictionary.  Either he flat-out makes up a word, or he will completely butcher certain well-known names and phrases.

Ruby Tuesday’s is often referred to as “Sunday Monday’s”, or “Steak and Shake” is “Shake and Bake”.  A DVD is a “circle” and  a dust buster is a “fuzz buster”.

I won’t even go into what it’s like when my dad wants to tell you about a good movie he’s recently seen but can neither remember the name of the movie, nor the actors in it.  It’d go something like this:

Have you seen that great action picture?  The one with… what’s her name?  She was in that other movie with… that guy from…he was an FBI agent.  Or a baker… I can’t remember which.  Uh… You know who I’m talking about, right?  She’s got blonde hair!

But I digress.  This post is about Jill.

A couple of weeks ago Alexa was begging Jill to draw her a picture.  Jill didn’t do it good enough, so Alexa told her to do it again.  Jill’s response?  “I’m not Leonard DiCaprio ya know!”  Okay, this is so wrong in its simple form, but she was even stupid enough to call him Leonard instead of Leonardo.



Leonardo, who played the part of an artist in a movie.







Leonardo Da Vinci, who was in fact, a REAL artist.







Who was famous for painting this ugly, eyebrow-less face.






When Jill was here a few weeks ago to pick out my puppy with me, we were spending some time out here in the screened-in patio and Poopy Pants wanted to go out on the grass.  Jill let her out but didn’t close the screen door.  I said, “Jill, close the door or my cats might get out.”  She said, “Don’t worry, Miss Kitty will close it.”

Well now, that’s interesting for two reasons.  One is that Miss Kitty is her cat and was at her house and, the other is that Miss Kitty does not know how to close doors.  So where did this come from?




Miss Kitty thinks Mom is an idiot.




That same afternoon I noticed that my tweezers were on the ground and Jill was stepping on it.  I said, “Jill, do you realize you’re stepping on my tweezers?”

She just looked at me and let out an enormous burp.  Disgusting.

burp-logo_Full You remember about a week ago when Jill, the girls, and Mom came to visit so Jill could pick out her puppy?  Well afterwards we went out to eat at this wing place.  The whole dinner was a basic disaster, which is the case nearly every time I go out to dinner with family.  It’s like we walk in the restaurant and the cooks sense it and suddenly forget their craft.

But anyway, we were looking over the menu.  Jill asks me what I’m getting.

The angus burger, I think.”

Jill:  “Gross!  How can you eat buffalo?”

Me:  “Huh?  What the hell are you talking about?”

Jill:  “Isn’t angus buffalo?  I know it’s buffalo.”

Me:  “Jill, you friggin’ moron, angus is a type of cow, not a damn buffalo!  Cows, cute and furry.  Buffalo, huge and ugly.





Cute black angus cow.







Ugly buffalo, possibly eating cute black angus cow.



Now you tell me.  Is it any wonder why I constantly make fun of her?  What would you do if she were your sister?

In any case, stick around, because there’s always something more to tell!


Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I’ll Finish the Sentences

Hi, my name is: Justine/Justiney/Tiney/Bitch

Never in my life have I been: Sloppy drunk.

I hate it when: I’m adamant about being right, and turn out to be wrong. (Case in point: tower climbers. Dammit!)

If you're going to talk smack about me: I’ll give you the cold shoulder. And poison your Cheerios.

The one person who can drive me nuts is: My father-in-law.

When I'm nervous: I shake like a leaf and get palpitations.

The last song I listened to was: My new ringtone that goes something a little like this: “Your sista’s on the phone. Oh yeah your sista’s on the phone, she wants to tell you something new. Your sista’s on the phone.”

If you were to get married today your maid of honor/best man would be: Definitely Jill. Duh. Can I have a best man too? I’ll take Steve from Ghost Hunters. Gotta save Grant for Alex.


He’s MINE!!!


He’s Alex’s!

My hair is: Really kind of cool, thanks to Larry and Sasha. Did I tell you guys that I’ve been swapping hair stylists? And that when I do it, the other one watches? It’s really quite kinky.

When I was 5: I got a cold sore inside my nose that was so huge it blocked my entire nostril. I still have scar tissue from it. Wanna see?

PSYCH! Or as stupid beautiful sister, Jill, would say, “Sike!”

Last Halloween: Was a total disaster. Nuff said.

I should: Probably steam clean the carpets, but I don’t wanna.

When I look down: I realize I haven’t seen my feet in a number of years.

The happiest recent event is: When we picked out our puppy! And then, when we picked out Jill’s puppy!

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My current annoyance is: That Jimmy was dumb enough to leave the house this morning without his cell phone. Especially stupid since he’s traveling! Penis.

I have a hard time understanding: Italian accents. I know, an Italian who can’t understand an Italian accent. Go figure.

There's this girl who I know: Who is the stupidest best sister a girl could ever have.

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The thing I want to buy is: Furniture!

Most recent thing I've bought myself: Really cute plaid shoes. Go ahead, laugh. See if I care!

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What was the last thing someone bought for you: No one every buys me anything! Nobody loves me! Oh wait… my parents bought us a fire pit.

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My middle name is: Jennifer

In the morning: The only thing that gets me out of bed is knowing that coffee is waiting for me downstairs.

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Last night I was: Would you believe I don’t remember what I did last night?

Tomorrow I am: Hopefully doing some cleaning.

Until next time, Tiney :o )

Monday, March 23, 2009

She’s Making Lemonade from Pure Crap


When I first met my blogger friend, Stephanie, the baby she was carrying was no larger than a peanut.  I’ve been there with her every step of the way, reading her posts about her pregnancy and general life, swapping emails about same.

Although Steph’s first pregnancy was a difficult one, her one big dream in life is to have a house full of wee ones to love, so she took the chance and planned for another baby.

It wasn’t long into her pregnancy that things started getting difficult and she was put on full bed rest.  Not an easy task when you have a 2-1/2 year old little boy to care for and love.  But Stephanie did so with grace (most of the time) and, always in the front of her mind was the fact that she’d do anything for the little girl growing within her.

A couple of months ago things started to become very worrisome.  Little Ella was not growing normally and it was questionable how long  Steph could stay pregnant to give Ella her best chance of survival.  Over the next months, Stephanie had multiple ultrasounds scheduled per week to determine Ella’s growth pattern and keep an eye on amniotic fluid levels and such.

Baby Ella still wasn’t growing and with each week that went by, Stephanie’s chances of going into labor were increasing.  At 31 weeks, and Ella just about 2 and a half pounds, they gave Stephanie painful steroid shots to help develop Ella’s lungs so she could be delivered safely last week.

All set for her C-section and admitted to labor and delivery, Steph and her husband James were given a shock.  The baby’s lungs had not matured, even with the steroid shots, so the delivery was not going to happen that day.  Stephanie needed to be admitted so that Ella could be monitored constantly.

So laying there in a hospital bed, Stephanie waits.  Waits to see if her baby will grow.  Waits to see if Ella’s lungs will mature enough to come into this world screaming.  Waits for the moment the doctor tells her that keeping the baby inside has become more dangerous than delivering her premature.  Waits to find out why her baby hasn’t been growing.  Because, you see, she’s been given no answers.  They don’t know why Ella is so small, or why her head and torso are growing disproportionately to the rest of her body.  They have ideas, but no concrete answers because an amnio would have been too risky.

And all this time, does Stephanie scream out to God, “Why?  Why me?  Why my baby?”  Well, I’m sure she does at times, but for the most part, she’s been facing this obstacle head-on and with positive thoughts.  No matter what challenges lay ahead for Ella and their family, they will be met with a fierce love that will propel them through any circumstance.


This silly award is what prompted me to write this post.  Stephanie gave me this award, when I think she alone owns it.  Because if anyone is making lemonade out of lemons, (or in my mind, making lemonade out of crap on a cracker) it’s her.


This post also serves one more purpose.  By telling you some of Stephanie’s story, I hope you will feel inspired to pray for my girl Stephanie, her husband James, her son, Josh, and her precious baby, Ella.  I know in my heart that everything is going to turn out fine, but every little prayer sent up to God will pave an easier way for Ella.

And please, if you have the time, stop by Mama Still Wears Gucci and say hello to Stephanie.  She’s got her laptop at the hospital and would love to receive some well wishes, I’m sure.

Friday, March 20, 2009

She Did it Again!!!

Yep, once again Jill has taken away my thunder, stripped me of my glory, usurped my uniqueness! What did she do this time? She decided she had to have a puppy from the same litter as mine. Like NOW.

She calls me on Wednesday:

Jill: What are you doing tomorrow? Want some company?

Me: I'm not doing anything. But what's up? You were just here and tomorrow is a school day.

Jill: So you won't mind if I come over? Will you take a drive with me?

Me: (Uh oh, something's up and I knew what it was!) Why are you being so mysterious? What are you up to?

Jill: Well... I um,... I HAVE TO get one of those puppies!!! I just got off the phone with the breeder and I'm going to pick one out tomorrow! Wanna come?

Me: OMG! OMG! I KNEW it! Yes, get your ass over here!

So yesterday, Jill came with the girls and Mom in tow for another puppy expedition! Ooh, what fun!

But wait, on the way there one of our "play" arguments ensued, this time about how the light bulbs get changed on the top of radio towers. I know, weird shit to be sure, but we argued about it all the same.

So I turned on my camera.

It turns out Jill was right. This time. There really are tower climbers and it's the most dangerous job in America. Go figure! And yes, once again someone else is driving my car. And yes, I did make Mom sit in the back seat!

Now, on to the puppies!

Jill was instantly attracted to this one, but Jill needed some cuddle and play time with her to see if she was truly the one. Teeth? Check. Clear eyes? Check. Ginormous paws? Check. Hmmm... let's see if she looks good with her.

Oops, I cut her head off. Let's try this again.

So, look good together? Check!!! She's mine! Er, I mean, she's Jill's!

Before we'd left the house, we were all throwing out puppy names. Mikayla, kidding, said, "Cannoli!" Well, cannoli are Jill's very favorite dessert food, so she instantly said, "That's the name! THAT is the name!"

And although 10 of you said you hated all of the puppy names I put on my poll... thanks for nothing your honesty!... the name I chose is Strudel! Hey, at least out of the names you guys did like, Strudel came in first!

So now we've got a Strudel and a Cannoli. Anyone else getting hungry for pastry?

But come on. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Would you expect anything less from Jill and I?

So Jill gave Lori the breeder a deposit, and soon we'll be able to bring home our babies. I'm so excited!

We left there to get a bite to eat, but first we had to turn around in this driveway. There's no way I could let this one go without a picture.

Great name for a contracting company, no? I have visions of The Village People erecting a building. Heeheehee!

Mom was a little cold in the restaurant and, with no jacket, she decided that covering herself with napkins (which were really hand towels. What's up with that?) would be the next best thing.

Is it any wonder why Jill and I are the way we are?

Poopy Pants wanted to imitate her big sister, so she stuck a toothpick in her mouth. It was too cute not to capture.

So that was our day in a nutshell. Good times, eh?

Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

Until Next Time, Tiney