Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Sucked Down and Mired in the Mud

Oh, it was another wonderfully shitty amusing day for me. First I bring Simmie to a new vet because I've heard through neighbors that this guy is good and doesn't charge an arm and a leg. Not only was I there for well over an hour, but my sugar crashed and I thought I was going to flop to the floor like a dying fish at any moment. Sweat pouring down my face, the whole works. And during all this, watching him scoop disgusting stuff out of a very bacterial-infested ear. Oh, the joy! I knew this was going to cost me. And then they had to wash out the ear. Then take two different slide tests under the microscope to see exactly what was going on in there. Oh, and more blood tests for her very hyperactive thyroid, and then all the medication for said thyroid and icky ear. I almost wet my panties when the receptionist said, "That will be $315.00 please!" Oh yes, this vet is MUCH more of a scam artist cheaper. Jimmy's going to love this one. It's a toss-up who he'll throw out the window first, me or the cat.

A couple of hours later it was time to bring Mikayla to her new school's orientation. Oh yes, I was so in the mood for this by now. If you've ever had your blood sugar dip really low, the effects stay with you for quite a while. I wanted to just lay down and bury myself in a blankie and suck my thumb. But no, motherly duties were a' callin', so off we drove to the school. Certainly not enough parking for the entire 6th grade and their families so the cars were lined up all along both sides of this fairly busy two lane road. The first avaiblable space was at least a half mile from the school's entrance, but what choice did I have? So, as soon as I could, I pulled off onto the shoulder like everyone else, car leaning precariously over toward the ditch. I was fine with leaving it there (after all, so had a billion other people), but oh no, Mikayla wouldn't hear of it. "Mommy, you can't park here. The truck is going to flip over! Find somewhere else!" So I looked across the street and the drainage ditch did look much more shallow over there, so I decided I'd just do a big U-turn in the street and park on the other side.

The ditch was much more shallow. Only problem was that I accidentally drove a wee bit too far down into it, not realizing it was a muddy bog. Rut roh, I think we're stuck. Mikayla: "Mommy, are we STUCK???" Me: "Shush, I can do this!" Mikayla: "No you can't! We're STUCK!" Well holy shitkabobs, she's right. I was well and truly stuck and when I got out to look this is what I saw.
Photobucket Well dang, this isn't looking too good, but I figured I'd keep trying until some nice family going to the school would stop to help me. Mud was flying all over the place, and no matter what I did the car just wasn't going anywhere. One family did stop... for a millisecond... just enough time to snicker and then walk away. Hmm... nice.

I then realized I had a big bag of kitty litter in the back. That could work as traction, no? NO! It did not. All I did was make a rather nice potty for the next stray cat to take a crap.
At this point I was feeling a bit crestfallen, and wondering if I'd have to stoop so low as to call AAA because of my own stupidity. (I can't believe I'm posting this hideous picture of myself!)
And then, like two angels being walked by their dogs, came my new best friends. Mary and... errrr... I never did get her name, but I love her now anyway! Not only did these chicks stop to help a fellow human being, but they actually got themselves MUDDY and tried pushing my car while I had it in gear. All their sweat equity came to naught, but Mary quickly gave me her name and phone number and told me to go to the orientation; she'd be back with her husband and his truck when I was done.

The orientation was almost over by the time we got there, and the room too crowded and hot to stay in, so we just walked back to the car and waited for Mary in the air conditioning. I had called Jimmy on my trudge back to the car, waiting for him to yell at me for my stupidity, but he surprised me by only saying, "Don't break the car!" Then as I sat there I decided to email Buffie a picture from my phone with the words, "Help meeeeee!" Little did I know she'd freak, thinking I was in a wreck. Oh yes, the first thing I'd do after being in an accident is email Buffie a picture of it! The girl makes me laugh even when she's not meaning to!

Oh boy, this side looks even worse!

And doesn't Mikayla look thrilled to be sitting in the middle of a ditch?

But ooh, what's this? A big honkin' truck with my best friends, what's- her -name, and Mary, plus Mary's husband! Give this man an award! He had me pulled out and back on the street within 3 minutes flat! I wanted to get out and hug all three of them but didn't want them to think I was completely psycho in addition to being stupid, so I refrained. But I did get a pic of Mary! Looky here, ain't she cute?

I wrote down my blog address for Mary, and I sure hope she remembers to come by and say hi so I can thank her all over again! If nothing else, I probably owe her and what's-her-name a new pair of sneakers! THANK YOU MARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And off to the car wash we went where all signs of my misadventure were erased. I think I'll stick close to home tomorrow.

33 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Buffie

    LMAO!!!! Well...I didn't know what to the when you sent me that picture of the truck in the ditch! LOL!!! Glad it was only you being a PITA! Thank you Mary for helping out a dear Tiney!

  • Bridget

    Wow Mary and What's Her Name area real angels! That is soooo rare in Florida. I don't think I ever ran into a good citizen when I lived there.
    Glad you are okay.

  • Tootsie

    you never cease to amaze or make me smile girl..thanks that is just what I needed today...a smile.
    I am glad Mary and "What's her name" showed up...they are like your angels of the day!

  • Buffie

    Poor Mikayla, she thought I was nuts calling you! LOL! I was like "OMG, it's me Buffie, are y'all OK"??? ROFL!

  • Life on Bonnie Lane

    Oh man, I hate when stuff like this happens! You're so lucky that someone finally decided to help you! That was really sweet of them! You know, sodden ground LOOKS solid! You don't know until you get stuck in it.

    By the way, I think kitty litter only works on ice...then not so much sometimes!


  • Nikki via The Scarlett Rose Garden

    Well sweetie, after a piss poor day I can't help but say how much I loved hearing your stories!!

    Let me tell you, this country girl is hell on wheels! I've gotten stuck and unstuck many a time.

    Hope your kitty is better soon... poor thing.

    You had better keep granola bars or some shit in your purse girl, no more blood sugar episodes!!

  • Elizabeth

    I'm glad you had a camera so you could share your misadventure with us!

  • Smilingsal

    I'm glad you got found some good helpers.

    I couldn't understand why you hadn't been to visit since you begged me to take pictures of Tropical Storm Fay, and... But you were busy with the vet, low sugar, getting stuck, and not going to orientation.

    The picture is still waiting for you. I think that Fay is going to visit you now. She's all wet.

  • artis1111

    I think you are going to get the rain today, so watch out for bigger mud puddles.Heee.Kathy

  • Raxx - A day in the life

    ROTFLMAO!! Kitty Litter!!! Good grief!!

    Mary and W-H-N were very sweet to help you! But I why did you not take pics of your cat at the vet? Knowing you Tiney you did and youre saving it for another post!

    Buffie you called youre so sweet!

  • French

    Ahh poor Justine! I have been having those kind of days lately! But even in the midst of chaos you make it sound funny!!! A big thanks to Mary who proves that there are still some kind people left in this world! French;)

  • Penny

    What a day! :-( The pic of Mikayla is priceless. I'm so glad some angels came along to help. Gals with men who have big honkin' trucks rock!

  • Naz

    If Mary and WHN (What's Her Name) ever read this I want to say THANK YOU!!! It's so rare to have anyone go out of their way the way these 2 great women did.
    As for Buffie....lol she's too funny even when it's not in her blog but someone else's.
    So glad your ok Justine and that horrible day is behind you. At least you made a new friend out of it.

  • Anonymous

    I'm feeling more and more like I'm back home by the day! I feel your pain with the stuck in a bog story. Yep, I felt like a stupid woman driver too. Luckily I had a man come to my rescue with one of those 'looks' they give you - like it never happens to them?

    I'd have loved to hear Mary tell that story to her friends.....LOL.

    Sorry to hear about the cat. Jimmy had a hard choice to make then? So who did get thrown out first - you never said.

  • Anonymous

    Wow Girl! What a day... that was one heck of an adventure! Good thing their are a few good people left in this world. (Other than us bloggers... :) I am glad that you were okay and that there was no damage to the car.


  • Bridget

    WHERE ARE YOU? Are you writing up another blog (perhaps on the vet visit?) Or, are you stuck in another rut? Maybe Jimmy threw you out and you can't get to the computer! LOL

  • justjill76

    The poor car! I'm glad I wasn't involved in that we would have needed Depends!


  • Justine

    OMG, Jill, I hadn't even thought of that! Can you just imagine if we had been together? Of course, with both of us and our combined body weight WE probably could have gotten the car unstuck! ROFL! Now where is my best friend Mary??????????

    Justine :o )

  • Rhea

    Thank god for good samaritans!! I'm so sorry you were stuck, missed orientation, had a sugar crash and had to pay out the wazoo for the cat's vet bill. What a day!!

    My kids are roughly the same age as yours. I just went to my 6th grader's orientation last week. Today we went up to the school again to put his school supplies in his locker, practice his combination a few more times and find all his classrooms AGAIN. We may have to do it tomorrow and Friday as well. The school is open all week for teachers and students to drop by.


    Thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday!

  • sista #2

    Good job on having the camera handy!
    Hate the feeling of being stuck in a ditch...but thanks to Mary and what's her name?? You are free!!!!

    So did you miss anything at the school ? lol


  • Pleasing Procrasinator

    LMAO..You are so much further in the grassy area than the other cars in the picture. I feel so bad laughing at your misfortune but you make it so hard not to.
    Cheers to your new best friends.

  • imjacobsmom

    OMG! Too funny, I'm sorry to laugh at your misadventures, but it sounds like my day. My schnauzer has an ear infection - is there something in the water? I couldn't get away from my dental office. My day ended with an emergency root canal. Then just when I thought I could leave - lo and behold there was a stack of boxes delivered from UPS! I didn't get home until almost 7 PM! Ick! I'm tired. I'm way too old for this! However, Im on vacation for the next 12 days! Yea! (GLAD to hear you don't have roseacea - it sucks!) ~ Robyn

  • Four in Costa Rica

    Just, it's time to heed advice and start carrying glucose tabs (or at least a granola bar) in your purse. The tabs are very fast-acting and will shoot four to five grams of glucose into your system quickly.

    So glad someone was able to help you get the car out of the mud!

  • Lisa

    Good thing you found some helpers nearby! Only you would document the entire thing on your blog!! LUV IT!!! Mikayla looks absolutely thrilled over the whole ordeal.

    WTG Mary and Whats Her Name! You might not know it, but you helped a celebrity :)

  • SchmeckyGirl

    Wow! Some day you had Justine! I'm sorry I wasn't here for you. That was so sweet of Mary and What'sHerFace to get the husband to help you!!! At least you had something to blog about.

    We are so pathetic how we try to capture anything blog worthy! lol!

    So how's Simmie? Some vet bill! At least the car didn't cost you anything... except maybe your dignity. Just kidding! I know you don't get embarrassed over stuff like that. Good for you. That was pretty funny.

  • Anonymous

    Hey Justine, where have you been all day? How are you feeling??? Thanks for your input! I am shopping around at plenty of places.... I'm in no rush.. Im just trying make sure that I get the right lamps.. :) Any suugestions?


  • mrsben

    "Rhea's" first paragraph, ditto!!I don't know what would be worse, getting stuck in mud or snow, but living in Florida guess you don't have to worry about the latter. :)(Reason why my choice of vehicle out of our auto-fleet; is a 4-wheel drive, fully loaded Suzuki Supersport. This 'little' baby goes through anything, you can park it on a dime, and takes little gas....makes shopping easier, ha, ha. It is my favourite to drive.)Hope Simmie is doing well, and Jimmy has gotten over the Vet bill.HAVE A SUPER WEEKEND JUSTINE. Hugs  -Brenda-

  • SchmeckyGirl

    I clicked on your book review blog. I guess the book is so good it left you speechless??!!?!?

  • Raxx - A day in the life

    Justine get off your lazy behind and blog woman!!

    or email me at soulgese@hotmail.com

  • Linda

    Oh boy things are not going your way lately, are they? I hope this weekend is better for you!

  • Anonymous

    I think they have a TV show about you, The Adventures of Old Justine, I mean Christine. Shes always having these wacky adventures.Sound familar? Your "show" would not be a "show" about nothing.

  • Shelia

    Justiney!! I just come back into town and look at all the trouble you're getting into!! How nice to have some nice people still around! Hope Mary and what's her name are reading your blog! Thank you, Mary and what's your name for saving our Justiney!! Now you take it easy for a few day, you hear? I'll have a post up tomorrow!!
    Be a safe sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  • Anonymous

    Hey Justine! How's it going today? Just popping in on you! (smile)