1) Numero uno this time was mucho easy to come by. This is something that has completely grossed me out for years and years but happens to be a very sensitive subject for some. So, here I take a risk of stepping on some toes. But what the hell, it's my blog, right? So what is it, you ask? It is mothers who breast-feed children over two years old. I know, I know, plenty of people do it, and you may think it is totally normal, but for me it's just gross. I'm sorry, but once a child is able to say, "I would like some booby juice please", or stand up while feeding, or unclip your damn bra for you, it's time to say bye- bye to the breast! You could argue this point with me until you're blue in the face and I would never change my mind. I was a nursing mother and I loved the whole experience of it, but I was very happy when both my girls stopped on their own, and before a year old.
2) Okay, this just grosses me out. You know when you crack an egg into the pan and sticking to the yolk is that blob of white stuff? Well, I just can't have it! I think of it as a piece of umbilical cord from the baby chick that wasn't meant to be. Or perhaps the belly button. In any case, I know it is neither, but it must be severed and removed with a piece of shell or I will not eat the egg!
3) Very loud bass music is enough to send me running in another direction. If it's turned up just a little too much in my own car I either have to fix it or turn off the music. I can't stand the way it makes the seat vibrate and it actually makes me nauseous! You know what I'm talking about here.
I think we've all been stuck at a light either behind or next to an ugly, souped up car with the music so loud and the bass so high that their entire car is rattling and vibrating. These are usually driven by some moronic teenager or 20-something looking for attention. Their nice Bose stereos just aren't enough. No, these idiots have to spend thousands of dollars to have a huge stereo system installed in their trunk.
I've actually seen a car shimmying so badly from the bass, I thought the side-view mirrors were going to fall right off! And don't EVEN get me started on those ridiculous rims that spin! Oy!
4) Okay all you less than svelte ladies out there, don't get mad at me for this one, because I'm an absolute fatty, so it's okay for me to say this. I cannot stand seeing a fat woman in a bikini! Do these women shop at some magical bathing suit store with fairy mirrors that chop off 100 pounds in their reflection? As a big girl myself, I do my best to cover the most unattractive parts of my anatomy when going to the pool or beach. I can barely stand to look at myself; why would I force perfect strangers to do so? And when I say I don't like to see a fat person in a bikini, I'm not talking about a woman who's just packed on a couple dozen pounds.
No, I'm talking about us women 200 pounds and up that think they look desirable with their fat apron tummies hanging down to their vajayjay, their dimpled thighs and bum wiggling for all they're worth with each thunderous step. Ewwwwwwww! It's just nasty! Wear that thing for your chubby chasing boyfriend or husband, not for the masses at the beach!
I really wanted each of these "bitch" posts to have at least 5 things, but I happen to be drawing a blank of any more things I despise. Not to worry, I'm sure more will come to me in the coming weeks. So be on the look-out for #3!
Until next time, Justine :o )
Whales: Where Art Thou
1 day ago