Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Please Address Any Donations To...

123 We're Broke Avenue, Mortification, FL 00000. Tell me my blogger friends, when you see this face Photobucket what comes to mind? Sweetness and light, correct? A darling little girl who can do no wrong and always makes Mommy and Daddy proud, right?

WRONG!!!!!!!! Oh so very very wrong indeed!

Today, when Mikayla got home from school she told me that while she was walking to the bus stop early this morning, our neighbor, Mr. Dave (better known as Boston Dave) was riding his bike and stopped to have a chat with her. He asked her if she had any idea about the notes her sister had been taping to every one's doors. Mikayla was clueless and asked what they said. What they said was this: "We're broke! Can you please help us? Here's our phone numbers! ..." I shit you not, bloggers!

Now this could be construed as funny, had it only been on Boston Dave's door, but no, Madison put it on every door in the two cul-de-sacs we're connected to! Dave kept asking Mikayla, "Are you sure your parents don't need some money for groceries or something?"

Later in the afternoon Mikayla bumped into our neighbor, Tina. Tina said that on her note Madison actually listed things that each of us could possibly use. I didn't even ask what was on the list... I truly don't want to know! I can just picture it now: "Mommy could use a 6-pack of panties because she doesn't do the laundry enough and has to go without wearing any sometimes. Daddy could use a barrel of flax seed for his life change and my sister hasn't gotten a new pair of shoes for three years and now her feet are shaped like arrows. The cats are so hungry they're eating their own dingleberries and fur balls.

Didn't I tell you Jimmy is always chanting, "We're broke!"? Huh huh? Didn't I? Can you imagine the mortification we're feeling right now? I swear, if I start finding fruits and veggies in my mailbox and cash donations at the door, I'm moving!

36 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Buffie

    OMG Justine I know YOU don't think it's funny but I almost peed my pants on the spot when you told me that!!!!!! LMAOPIMP funny!!!!!

  • justjill76

    You are not getting any donations from me. LOL! Madison, Madison, Madison I just don't know but I'd find out!

  • justjill76

    It is funny but sad too what if Madison thinks she is going to be homeless?

  • Tootsie

    This is funny...as funny as me getting sprayed by that skunk....AFTER it is over....I can only imagine what Jimmy is going to do when he gets wind of this!

  • Bridget

    ROFLMAO Looks can be deceiving!
    I hope Mommy and Daddy have assured her that y'all aren't going to starve to death.

  • squawmama

    OMG... how funny is this story... Embarrassing for you but way to funny for us your fellow bloggin' friends... It reminds me of when my daughter told everyone we had millions hidden in the garage. What they invent is amazing with only hearing a few words from their parents... They fabricate a story for all to hear...At any rate this is funny and you have to laugh...


  • Colleen formerly of South Africa

    I laughed and laughed at this. It sounds like something my kids might have done in yesteryears gone by!Too funny.

  • Jessica

    Get out of town! Only you Justine...only you(shaking my head and trying not to laugh at you arghhhhh!)
    My kids answer to every request a friend asks such as...."can you go skating?" pr "do you have guitar hero?" is no...we can't afford it or that costs a lot of money! Poor kids....

  • santamaker

    Justine, you should thank Madison for getting you out of your writer's block! My goodness how funny for us, but sucks for you! LOL.... I don't blame you for wanting to move. I have a friend that when she was a little girl, would knock on her neighbors doors and say, "my mom needs to borrow 3 cookies" or whatever it was she wanted to munch on at the time. Her Mom never found out she was asking for handouts from the neighbors until she was married!
    I hope you reassured her that you are not broke! After all of that food that Jimmy brought home the other day, you won't be starving for a while! lol...
    Be good,

  • Stephanie

    Children have a little streak of evil, don't they?

    You know, it's kind of cute and a little sad that she's worried, obviously mortifying for you, but what I'm focusing on is, well, me. Surprise! And I? Am now counting my blessings that my son introduces himself as "Tush". Because it could be worse.

  • nikkicrumpet

    OMG OMG OMG...I just woke up the neighbors with my hysterical laughter...I'm pretty sure they are calling the police as we speak!!! That is the funniest dang thing I think I've ever heard...I'm really sorry to be laughing at your pain...but oh crap that is BEYOND FUNNY! I love her...she is my new favorite kid!

  • Mama

    Look on the bright side Justine, you now have something to blog about - no more bloggers block for you haha.

    Madison is adorable, just lie low for a few days and it will all be forgotten.

  • Anonymous

    Maybe it was the food parcel I brought for you? Maybe Madison said we had to get bags of awful food from a stranger who lives in England??

    But hell it was funny - although I am squirming in your discomfort with you too!

    So what was Jimmy's reaction?

  • Anonymous

    Madison is probably very proud of herself, she's trying to help mommie and daddy... Out of the mouth of babes :)

    Hugs, Chris

  • French

    OMG this is hilarious! Kind of reminds me of the time I went door to door trying to collect Unicef money!! Kids say the darndest things! Hugs French;)

  • Rhea

    OMG, I think you're gonna have to move. I would have killed my child. lol She's resourceful though...

  • Mary De Bastos

    I'M LAUGHING SO HARD!!! I know you don't think its funny, but you will!!!!!!
    AND she mentioned your panties!!! HAHHAAAAA!
    AND THE POOR CATS! and the life change! HHAAAAA!
    I'm dying right now! seriously!
    I'd kill her, no one would notice...

  • Lisa

    OMG too funny. I cringe everytime my girls tell someone we are broke. I cannot imagine what I would do if they taped notes to neighbors doors. OMG.

  • Mary De Bastos

    I dis read it too fast! I was laughing too hard to noice!
    You crack me up!

  • Smilingsal

    lol Okay, okay, you can fix this. Let me think a minute.

    Okay...hold a block party where you supply EVERYTHING! The neighbors will then know that you have plenty of $$. What's that? You can't? Because...you're Broke?


  • Anonymous

    OMG!!!! Children take what we say a little more serious than what we think...

    She's soooo cute!!! :)


    Now go bury your head in the ground. (LOL)

  • Penny

    Friggin hilarious! When I was little I went around the neighborhood selling my mom's love notes! Now that freaked her out pretty good I tell ya!

  • Picket

    Oh my word...oh my word!! lol lol lol Oh Lordy I am dying here!! Ohh..ohhh I wish I lived in driving distance of you girl..I swear I'd leave a basket full of food at your front door in the middle of the night with a little note in it that would say 'To whom it may concern...I read about your situation in the local ads while I was down at the Piggly Wiggly and my heart just broke for you & your family..so here is alittle something to help you out and enclosed in the old gas bill envelope is some money I was saving for a new 'frogie' but I want you to have it so you can get you some new panties (yep there was a note in the ad about that too!) " lol lol Oh My word...I can't breath I wish I could have seen your face!!! Oh I swear I'd do it if I lived closer to you!!!! lol lol I bet the neighborhood association is holding a special meeting right now!!! lol lol

  • Buffie

    Still lmao over this one!!!!!

  • Picket

    Ohhhh and one more thing girl! lol Better get your story straight when the Welfare knocks on the door to check on the kids!!!! lol lol oh...and ...dingleberries????? Oh lordy my chest hurts I am laughing and choking so hard...God bless that child!!! lol lol

  • Happy To Be

    OMG!!! I am laughing so hard right now ..I am crying girl..I just spit coffee on my screen when I read this!! Madison is my new hero girl!!! too funny...please don't kill the kid ..one day you will see the homor and this and besides you can tell her about this the rest of her life...this is just PRICELESS Justine..And I thought I was the only one who had one of those daughter!! Mine took a jock strap to kindergarten for show-n-tell and said it was a chinese jump rope..and I had to go to school and get it Red face and all..Girl I got coffee coming out of both ends from this one...haha!!

  • Karen

    Just think in a few short years it will be pay back time! Your girls will be teens, and you just breathing will mortify them. I used to tell me kids when they were teens that if I didn't embarrass them at least once a day I wasn't doing my job as a mom. But it really is a funny ,and if the neighbors have kids, they probably don't think you're broke. Karen

  • onlymehere

    Oh Justine, I know this isn't funny to you right now but some day it will be. Our Nicholas eons ago got into my garage sale money (I've only had like three sales in my entire life). I thought I had it hidden and was in the other room crashing. He took it and went around and did just the opposite of your little darlin'. He put a the $20.00 bills and other paper money on the neighbors doorsteps. I had done well at this garage sale and had counted it before I hid it in my bedroom. Most of the neighbors gave it back when they discovered it but we had one who decided bz it was on his doorstep it was his. I ended up losing close to $100.00 of my hard earned money. Since we had only made about $270.00 this was alot. I really hated that neighbor for that. Keep your chin up sweetie and just tell the neighbors the truth if they ask - JIMMY ALWAYS SAYS IT! Yup, blame the husband. I'd have her write a little apology/explanation note that she misunderstood that it's something her daddy just says and have her tape it to their doors. It'll help her understand too not to do it again!

  • SchmeckyGirl

    That is hysterical!!! I am still laughing. I NEED to know what was on ther list!!! FIND OUT!! FIND OUT!! What did she say when you asked her about it?!?!?!?

  • Anonymous

    Hey, Madison, we could use you around here at Girl Scout Cookie Selling Time!!! You'd rake in the dough.(really, pun un-intended)

  • Anonymous

    Come to my blog, Raquel is having a party!

  • niartist

    Oh I'm laughing so hard I'm hurting my ulcerated stomach! I'd just smile and take those donations! Maybe rub some dirt on the kids faces and make them run around without shoes in the street with no supervision! LOL, really play it up! Oooo, I have an award for you at my blog!

  • busha2


    Thanks for sharing, that is just too funny!!! Having children (grown now, only by the Grace of God) I know exactly your pain. Years later sitting at the table during a holiday you will recall this wonderful little moment and be able to share this with a future husband. Trust me, there will be alot of laughter conncected to this down the line.

  • NurseChessie

    maybe I should mail you some carrots. lol. the really sad part is that you didn't get any donations! you must have cheapo neighbors. lol

  • Nikki via The Scarlett Rose Garden

    OMG... kids!! So innocent!!
    Well, she can come put notes on my neighbor's doors if she likes. I'll take donations, lol!

  • Anonymous

    OMG I think, FINALLY, I've found someone who has a kid who has done something worse, no wait FUNNIER than my kid;) LOL