Saturday, September 6, 2008

Larry Ripped Me a New One. Or Two.


Eyebrows that is. Yep, I've been cut, waxed, plucked and de-furred and I enjoyed every minute of it! First came the hair cut, and after a good 6 weeks, there was a LOT of hair for Larry to get rid of with his very sharp razor. He hacked away like a mad gardener going after weeds and gave me what we're calling a "modified Nicole cut". Nicole, being one of the final three on this season's Shear Genius. He couldn't cut me quite as short as Nicole's hair because hers is fine, mine is uber thick, she's got a pixie face, and I've got, well, a fat face, I guess you'd say. Larry shook his head at my idea for straight bangs across and said it would only make my face look wider. So, we kept the swing bangs to the side, but he really went to town on the rest of my head. Have you ever had a razor cut? It's like a little scalp massage every time he chick chick chicks the blade through my hair.


At one point during the cutting of the side of my head, I heard Larry let out a little giggle under his breath. Since I hadn't said anything witty within the last day minute or so, I asked, "Larry, what are you snickering about?" To which he answered, "Oh not much. Just noticing how grey you're getting." Hmph! Is this what I pay the man for? Is he supposed to highlight my hair, or my downfalls? Every stylist worth their scissors knows it is their job... no, their obligation to make their client feel beautiful. Oh hell, this is me and Larry we're talking about. Who am I trying to kid? Anyway, this is what my hair looked like directly after the cut. No, he doesn't dry my hair. I don't know why that is, because I see him dry everyone else. Am I being slighted again? Or does he just know I don't have the patience to sit there long enough for it?

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Did I mention Mikayla also got her hair cut? Yes, it was time for a small change for the middle-schooler. Brianna cut her hair and put in loads of layers and then some swing bangs at Mikayla's request. She insisted I take a picture of her with her new (un-dried) do. Here she is, the lovable Sweet Pea.

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But now it was time for the hard-core stuff. The de-furring of the brows. You know I've been waiting weeks upon weeks for this, so there was excitement in the air. Okay, hairspray was in the air, but you know what I mean. Larry plopped me down in the reclining chair and started smearing on some hot wax. Ooh, that feels kind of nice!

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And then he laid down the cloth and smoothed it out. That felt kind of nice too.


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And then he ripped it off. And that didn't feel as nice.

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And as he cooed and patronized me, he moved on to the other side.

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And he ripped it off again! I swear I heard him snicker this time. And ooh, what is Mikayla doing? Another Diva shot? What is wrong with this child? Doesn't she see her mother is being tortured?

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Ahhhh, we're done now, right? The torture is over? I can go home? No? What now dammit? Oh crap, here come the tweezers!

Pluck...

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Pluck...

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Pluck...

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FU**!!!!!!!!! I've had enough!
Oh thank goodness, what is this stuff he's coming at me with? Sniff sniff. Mmm, it smells good. Ooh, ahhhhh, it feels good too!

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Whew! I do believe we're done!

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TA-DA!!!!!!!!!!!

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They're not exactly perfect because they just didn't grow in enough near the nose, but Larry did the best job that could have been done with what he was given. Kudos to Larry, the little shit who enjoyed my pain!

I guess you're wondering what my hair looks like dyed and styled, huh? Well, I just dyed it burgundy but it doesn't seem like the color took. Oh well, I did take some shots of myself in the bathroom mirror, but if I find these posted on Shelia's blog as diva pics, I'll hunt her down and break all her nick-knacks! I'm in my night shirt and I have no makeup on, but hell, you all have seen me look worse, haven't you? Here's my hair, sans poofiness!

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On this one I tried to edit out my dark circles, but I think I only accomplished removing my lower lid. LOL

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Well this was a treat, was it not? Now don't think because there is a new post up that you can all sit on your laurels and forget about renaming my blog! Keep playing with those words, and think edgy!

24 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Bridget

    Hey, Congrats on being sans sperm brows!
    I love, love, love Mikayla's haircut. She looks so appropriately "tween!" Your hair looks very nice too. Larry and Brianna are good!!!

  • onlymehere

    WOOHOO! I got a compliment from Justine! My life is good and I can die a happy woman! So glad you liked the room. I'm a wimp and all that color scared the heck out of me but she designed it and I'm glad I trusted her. The pink tones kind of clash on my monitor but in the room they all look so nice together! Also, I have to tell you that I can't believe how brave you are to have your eyebrows waxed. OUCH! Plucking is hard enough for me. You look great though, simply marvelous!

  • Nikki via The Scarlett Rose Garden

    OMG your title was so funny... and these pics are so funny!
    I love doing razor cuts!
    Brows are MUCH better girlfriend!
    Your cuts look great~

  • imjacobsmom

    Mikayla's haircut is a cutie, You just got my standard cut I get every 6 weeks. With the razor and all. I am definitely overdue. Whenever I get my brows waxed my eyelid twitches all the next day. It wants to twitch now just thinking about it. ~ Robyn

  • artis1111

    If you had virgin hair ( no chemicals on it ) there should be no problem in coloring your hair. Is he doing the semi perment or the dye? The hair should be finished when you leave the shop.I don't care if you are a friend.I like the cut on you ! Kathy

  • Philly

    Great haircut !!

    #1

  • Naz

    I get such a kick out of you and your parnter in crime, Mikayla. Both of you look fabulous!!

  • DishDiva aka Kay

    Looks great! I just love short hair,it is easy to get out of the house fast. Especially when I HAVE to take 20 minutes on the makeup. That is a can't do without! The brows look sweet too!

  • Lisa

    Great look. Your brows look fab. I love the new haircut too. Wheres the blue extensions??

  • Tismee2

    Ooh I love that Nicole cut. Maybe I will try that next time too!

    Pictures of eyebrow waxing, hair colours in the garage, please don't go for a Brazilian!

    Your hair probably looks lovely 'done' proper. So you going to take a pic of it all pulled together? Brows, new skin and hairdo?

  • Buffie

    Love the new DO! And your brows are no longer "Sperm Brows", YEA!!!!!!! You rook mahvalous!

  • Rhea

    Justine, you're so funny. This was my favorite line though:

    Is he supposed to highlight my hair, or my downfalls?

    Oh, man, cracked me up!! I had a haircut/highlight yesterday, and it was wonderful! She straightened my hair, which I never have the patience to do. It is gloriously straight now...until I wash it. I'm gonna see how long I can go without washing it...

  • Life on Bonnie Lane

    Love the title! I had to laugh so hard when you were talking about how nice the warm wax felt because I knew what was coming next and oh hell no, that part does not feel good! I always loved how it looked after, but I ended up having a reaction to the wax after years of being just fine so can't do that any more. Your's look great though! Do you think you'll go through the waxing again? I used to do it for my little 'stache too, lol.

    Love the hair! Looks easy to take care of. Mikayla looks so good with her haircut too. The layers are awesome!

    Kady

  • Smilingsal

    I like Mikayla's haircut; she's a cutie.

    With that Italian hair, why oh why not let it grow and show your curls? Ah, I'll bet it'd be gorgeous!


    Okay, okay, another title:

    The Edge of Justine

  • Kathy

    You and Mikayla's haircuts are so nice, and your brows are looking good!., Larry looks like such a fun guy. Mikaylas so funny doing Bathroom Diva shots while you were on the torture chair, (make her get her eyebrows done, that will teach her!!!!haha) you should call your blog.

    "The Musings of Mikayla's Mom"
    or "What Mikayla's Mom did Next"

    Have a lovely Sunday, Kathy

  • Shelia

    Woo Hoo! Justiney has been beautified!! Your hair cut is really cute. I want one like that. FYI, I've been letting my bangs grown out, but I think I look like Ringo from the Beatles, plus I can't stand it. Justine, I've been trying to look younger like you said...but I can't doooooo it!! So, I'm cutting the suckers tomorrow!! Oh, your brows look great. I can't use those pics of you for bathroom snaps. I'll try to be good, but hey, I reaalllllllllllly waaaaaaaaaant to use them. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese let me!!
    Be a beautified sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  • Alex

    you are too funny! :) I like reading your blogs...they make me laugh..and I need that right now.

    So, why too much pain still? I have 3 holes and one long, large incision that starts from between my breasts down to my belly button!! I"m told I'll have quite a bit of pain for a few more weeks yet. Mainly because of where the incision is..being close to the diaphram (sp?)...which makes sense on why it hurts more to take deep breaths. Anyway...at least I can eat! :)

  • Life on Bonnie Lane

    OMG!!! Just went to the SITS site and saw that you're the winner! Woohoo!!!! Doing the happy dance for you! Yay!

    Kady

  • artis1111

    YOU WON!!!!!!!Me doing the happy dance~~~~~ Oh yes , what shampoo are yopu using? That could be some of the problem with the color not lasting.Kathy

  • mrsben

    LOVE your new haircut! You can't beat a Razor Cut for a wash 'n wear look, but just hope you don't find the style a Nightmare when you decide to grow it out. (Personal experience argggh).
    Your eyebrows are looking REAL good girl!
    Larry is definitely a HD Keeper :)

  • Karen

    Larry did a great job. Your new cut looks great. Karen

  • judicreations

    Hi Justine

    That was a very funny post and all the details were sooo thought provoking...I could just imagine it all. You haircut looks great! Mikayla's haircut is cute too. Its great to have a good hairstylist...Larry seems to be that!

    Enjoy your new look..have a great day.

    Judi

  • santamaker

    Justine!
    Hey girl... what a funny post! I just love how you say it like it is! Your hair cut is VERY flattering , I think maybe I'll get mine cut a little shorter too. Eyebrows are such a pain, aren't they? No wonder the women used to shave them off and draw them in, much easier on the pain receptacles!
    So, why do you wanta change your blog name? It's sooo cute. Okay, let me think about something edgy.
    I'll be back with some good ideas. So, when are you coming to see my new blog? I've been waiting for you!... WHAT?!.. you're waitin for an engraved invitation? It's the least you can do, since I voted for you pasta dish! LOL
    Keep smilin'
    Santa

  • Elizabeth

    Can't believe I'm just reading this now. I love the oil/lotion after getting my brows waxed, too!