Saturday, September 20, 2008

A Blockage and The Power Challenge


Oh, this just sucks! I mean really really bites the big one. I've got Blogger Block! And not just an itty bitty case of it, but serious blockage. I think I may need some creative Draino or Liquid Plumber, or even a partial lobotomy. I'm even having trouble writing a blog post ABOUT my Blogger Block! I can now sympathize with published authors and the terror they go through when the juices stop flowing. Imagine how this would feel if my livelihood depended on my blogging abilities!



There's just nothing interesting or funny going on in my life right now. I haven't gotten the results from my sleep study yet and I'm frustrated because I want answers. I'm tired of being tired all the time, and doing nothing but sleep and read emails. I'm a slug!

Ooh, ADD moment!  And speaking of slugs!  Look at what I found on my patio chair this morning! Isn't he disgusting?  A slug with a shell!  LOL

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But I'm so thoroughly impressed with this new camera I won. Look at how close up I was able to get. You can see every bitty bump on him!

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I have thought of one thing I can share with you all. I could mention that Jimmy is starting some crazy diet thingy on Monday that is supposed to be life changing. It's called, get this, The Power Challenge. I shit you not. Click on it and go see. I haven't, but I guess I probably should being that this "diet" is going to take over his life for the next three months. Here's what the web site has to say about the program:

The Power Challenge is a comprehensive, 12-week, intensive and competitive health and fitness program designed to lower corporate health care costs by helping CEOs, key executives and their employees achieve maximum health and wellness. The program is also a proven and fun vehicle to teach those involved that there is nothing more important than your health.

What I do know of it so far is that we can expect Jimmy to lose at least 30 pounds, gain tons of muscle mass and basically get in the "best shape of his life". Four times a week, at 5 a.m., he will be brutalized and tortured by a personal trainer for two hours, before putting in a 12-14 hour day at work. He's then expected to eat six small meals a day, but absolutely no beef or pork during the next three months. Only fish, chicken and turkey. Oh, and eggs. Dozens and dozens of egg whites. He's actually got plans of going on his own food shopping expedition tomorrow, which I'm sure will cost hundreds of dollars. But hey, this is life changing, right?

And did I mention that this program has a cost of $2,000 and that his company pays for it? They're obviously trying to make their image more progressive, and I guess they're doing a good job of it so far. I imagine they figure, healthy employee, happy employee. Only time will tell, I suppose, but I have seen quite a few pictures of other employees who have been through the program, and the results are astounding. Sagging beer bellies and man boobs miraculously turned into six packs and bulging pectorals. If they can do it, why not Jimmy? Here's a picture of one of the guys he works with at the beginning of the program.

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And this is what he looked like 12 weeks later. I did giggle a bit when I noticed he'd shaved his chest for the photo. But holy rippedness! Does he look amazing, or what? He obviously didn't have a weight issue to deal with but he sure did improve himself! I could sit here and paste pics all day of some of the people Jimmy works with and you would be amazed at the difference just 3 short months made.

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But how will this affect my life in the kitchen? God only knows, because Jimmy is hard enough to cook for as it is because he's rarely home for dinner anyway. I am not the type of wife to put on an apron at 8 p.m. and start cooking my beloved a gourmet meal. So, if he's still planning on keeping these hours, he'd better also plan on cooking his own fish/chicken/turkey/egg meals too!

And dinner tonight! Oh my goodness, it was so hard not to pop him one across the table. All day he's been reading his Power Challenge binder and soaking up oodles of healthy eating information. For dinner tonight I made an enchilada casserole. Under his breath I heard, "We eat like shit in this family.   We're all gonna die if we don't change the way we eat.    Kids have got bad habits."  Can you imagine the comments I'll have to live with when he actually starts the friggin' diet?  If you happen to open your newspaper one day and find an article about a man being castrated with a blunt butter knife during dinner, that'll be my story you're reading!

Well, at least I found something to write about, but I certainly don't feel that this is the end to my blockage. I need funny, witty, giggle-worthy things to write about!

Hello, god of the funny bone? It's me, Justiney. I'm sorry to bother you, but this isn't important enough to bother God with, so I'm left with only you, the god of giggles. Could you please send some funny shit my way before I lose my readers? Please? If you do, I promise not to curse you the next time I hit my elbow on the counter!


26 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • French

    I thought I was the only one with blogger block tonight LOL~~your blog is still more interesting than mine~~Lol French;)

  • onlymehere

    Have no fear, for sinus surgery you'll be under general anesthesia not MAC. You'll be fine. I left Buffie a note and told her she'd be fine too. I feel so bad now that I posted it but it's one of my true weird stories of things that happen to me. I will definitely be back to read this. Right now I'm beyond exhausted and ready to go to bed even though it's only 8:40. Man, I hate getting old.

  • Penny

    My DH started Jenny Craig diet a week ago. I saw him stuffing some peanut butter in a celery stalk this afternoon, but I didn't let him know I saw him cheating. tee hee

  • Jill

    Justine,
    I think you are totally freaking hilarious. Even with writer's block you still deliver!
    I read each and every post.
    Jill (Jiller53150 from RMS)

  • onlymehere

    Okay, so I didn't go to bed yet. I got to your last paragraph and all I could think was to tell you to be careful what you wish for bz you just might get it! You've tempted the fates now. I get blogger block too but lately I've rambled on waaaaaay toooo long. I'm going to Idaho next week for potatoes so maybe I'll get some new ideas.

  • mrsben

    OMG my friend, "let the lectures and preaching begin" if Jimmy is successful in his weight loss and toning. As much as I wish him success; you girl are going to be in BIG trouble. Speaking from my own personal experience when my DH quit smoking 'cold turkey', he expected the rest of the world to follow suit :) In summary, it's a MALE thing, and that is what they do. Hate to sound like a 'negative Nelly', but don't say I didn't warn you. Yep it's going to be life-changing alright. LOL

  • justjill76

    blogger block, you poor baby! I came, I commented, I going! Night, night!

  • artis1111

    Two of the girls at the beauty shop are on diets and are taking the lipo shots. One lost 70 lbs. I just nodd as I enjoy my chocolate! Heee.Kathy

  • Tootsie

    my blogger block has me "borrowing" information! good luck with yours.

  • Life on Bonnie Lane

    Ugh, slugs! I used to get them at my old house, big ones too! At least 4 inches long! It was horrible to walk into the kitchen or bathroom at night and step onto one of those buggers. Ewww!

    Yikes, I feel sorry for you already getting beat up for your food choices. Sounds like your hubby will be going through an intense program, but it should be interesting to see if he sticks with it after its all over. Is this a mandatory program at work?

    Anyhow, I am on my own lifestyle change in regard to my eating. I'm doing pretty good so far and between walking and changing my eating habits, I've lost 3 pounds. It's really a lot of mind over matter. I am trying to listen to my body and figure out if I really am hungry, or if I am just wanting something because it looks and tastes good. I also am eating just a small portion of something and if I'm still hungry, I tell myself that if I'm hungry still in a half hour, then I will eat something else. Usually by that time I'm not. Plus I tell myself, can I get through this hour without snacking? If I can, then I go another hour without.

    Those pictures of that guy are pretty amazing. You know what though, except for the muscle-y arms, I liked him better in the first pic! Like you said, he wasn't fat to begin with, and I like having just a teeny bit of a belly on a man to sink my face into. Okay, TMI, lol.

    Kady

  • Bridget

    Yo Tiney! Good luck with the power challenge. I wish someone would pay me $2000 to whip Jimmy's ass (I mean whip it into shape.) lol

  • Raxx - A day in the life

    Justine you already found the cure for blogger block, just start writing! And you did, and you got a great post at the end.

    What Mrs Ben said did cross my mind too, not to mention what your hubby muttered under his breath, he's gonna be wanting some changes for the whole family!!

  • Buffie

    Maybe it's the time of year, I don't know but alas I have a bad case of it too!!!!

  • Naz

    Ironically in today's Sunday paper I read an article about a woman who stabbed her boyfriend with a butter knife. She said she did it to get his attention. Lock up the butter knives because even with writer's block you still have the blog know-how.

    Dieter's can be a cranky bunch. My middle daughter is on the Atkin's one and is getting really miserable and she just started it yesterday. I feel your pain.

    That really is a great camera you won. The pictures are crystal clear.

  • Lisa

    Blogger Block sucks. That is why I do Wordless Wednesday, Muscial Monday, and Thursday 13. That means that only 4 days out of the week I have to think of actual things to blog about LOL.

    Slug w/ shell = Snail. :)

  • squawmama

    Hey girlfriend... Writers block my A__... you are funny in everything you write.. and it is always good. Makes my Blog look like dullsville, USA.

    Now on dieting.. I start and stop one every year... I wish Jimmy luch and I hope you don't kill him.. but watch out if he succeeds you'll pay a price I am sure.

    And on a last note your camera is great... what kind was it again? The picture of the slug was actually kinda cute... I just got a new Kodak camera not to long ago and it has many features. I haven't learned any of them...

    Hugs,
    Donna

  • squawmama

    oh by the way.. How is the BLOGGER name going?

    bye for real this time
    Donna ;-D

  • Tismee2

    Oh what a cute Sammy Lug. I think they are amazing up close. I love the way bees really do have hairy knees and stuff. more close ups of your 'creepy critters please.

    You know what/ Jimmy will probably end up looking like Adonis. Men find this stuff much easier to do than us feeble weak willed wifeys. probably 'cos they only have two things to think about, work and diet.

    Sending some caustic soda your way for de-bunging purposes. Good Luck.

  • Nikki via The Scarlett Rose Garden

    Well for having blogger's block you sure posted quite a bit!

    I have to say, I like the before pic of the guy, even tho it looks like he's wearing a hairy underwire, lol!

    Jimmy WILL start to nag, I'm sure. But sweetie I must say, from experience, the foods you eat can make you sluggish and mess with your sleep habbits.
    Hmm, no pork or beef. That would suck!

    That slug pic was cool. And the little tiny frog pic too!!

  • Donna

    Where's the block Justine? Where is the block???? If what you have is writer's block, then shake off a little and send me some! :)

    I cracked up when I read your comment. "I didn't think you had it in you". (LOL) Oh really? That was funny! (LOL)

    xoxoxo
    Donna

  • Rhea

    Do you really have a frog tattoo on your right shin? That's so cool looking.

    Wow about the fitness power diet thingy. Yikes. sounds hardcore.

    Love the snail pics! Nice job with the camera!

  • Rhea

    BTW, that's a long post for someone with blogger block. Nicely done!

  • Karen

    I think slugs with shells are snails. Not sure. They are all a bit gross. Hope you survive the diet. Karen

  • nikkicrumpet

    OH MY HECK...if this is writers block...then gimme a double helping! You crack me up just talking about not being able to crack us up! I can't wait to see your hubby all buff and macho. DO WE GET BEFORE AND AFTERS OF HIM! C'mon be a sport!

  • Jessica

    Good luck with the life changing diet...jeez...like the home doesn't turn upside enough when we diet...(which I don't do anylonger and proud of that committment to JUST SAY NO) but if my hubby wanted to do this....UGHHHH the comments alone would drive me and the kids to a 2 bdr. apt.down the road....oh, I hope you hang in there!

  • Jessica

    Good luck with the life changing diet...jeez...like the home doesn't turn upside enough when we diet...(which I don't do anylonger and proud of that committment to JUST SAY NO) but if my hubby wanted to do this....UGHHHH the comments alone would drive me and the kids to a 2 bdr. apt.down the road....oh, I hope you hang in there!