What's In My Purse, You Ask?

I'll tell you what's in it. A mess, that's what! Nothing drastically embarrassing mind you, but still, it was obviously way past due to be cleaned out, and I've only been using this purse for a month. I hate this thing too, because it's so floppy and big that I can never find anything in it. You may remember it from a long ago post... Jimmy brought it home with him from Italy. Fake Prada. Ooh la la.

So, I dumped it all out and put it into piles according to... well, according to what it was! There, that doesn't look too bad, does it?


It's only when I start focusing on the different piles that it starts to look ridiculous. I mean, what is with all these lipsticks I carry around? I almost never wear lipstick, as you've seen in umpteen pictures of me!


Then we have the ever-present gum, half of which has no home, aside from floating from one end of my purse to the other. I blame this on the kids, of course. And dental floss is a must for when I've got something stuck in my teeth. This way I can either saw it out while driving, or do it while walking around Wal-Mart. Very inconspicuously of course. Yes, I'll admit, I've done it before dammit!



Let's see. Change purse with stray coins that never made it in, and my wallet with a ten dollar bill that I just stuffed in my purse earlier today. See, yesterday Madison slept at Amrita's house, and today they were going to the movies. So, I took $20 out at the ATM for her. Today when she got home, she handed the change to Jimmy. Um, excuse me? Who drove to the ATM? Who drove her to her friend's house? Well, stupid silly man that he is he left it on the coffee table. So, the moment his back was turned, I nabbed it and hid it in my purse. Yep, I'm sneaky like that.

Then up there in the left corner is some Tylenol... again, not sure why I carry this since I rarely get headaches. But hey, I can help someone else out if they're in pain, right? And next to that is an Rx bottle with like one pill in it for nausea. I have a bad tummy, and that's just there for an emergency.

Below that, we have the requisite lighters and matches. I never use matches, but they're from my favorite tattoo place, and keep them for sentimental reasons. Did I tell you about how last year Madison decided to try matches and lit my purse on fire? No? Well, too bad, I'm not telling you now either. Oh shit, I just did, didn't I?

You can also see my key chain which says I "heart" San Diego. Jimmy's fabulous cousin Chrissy bought that for me while we were visiting last August. And next to that, just some boring pens, one of which seems to have exploded. I was wondering why I kept finding blue ink on my fingers! Mystery solved! I'm like frickin' Sherlock!

This next pic here is of my little "Jillisms" notebook. As you can see, it's been shoved around quite a bit in that cavernous fake Prada and is showing some wear. Not to mention the cover has separated itself from the notebook. I'd better get a new one STAT, because you just never know when Jill is going to say something stupid. I must be prepared! And speaking of Jill, that little candy is from our recent trip to Mama Fu's. Ah, that day was so filled with Jillisms, it gives me the warm fuzzies.



Now, I'm usually really good about keeping my receipts neatly folded and inside my wallet, but when I've purchased something deemed unimportant, I either throw the receipt out, or into my purse. This is the result.



And here is my junk pile. Old gum wrappers, one of the lists I hand to Danny, my favorite deli guy at Publix every week, as seen here. I must have been there one week when my man wasn't able to help me, and I actually had to wait on line like a regular customer, hence the numbered ticket thingy.



And that my friends is what was in my purse. What's in yours? Do you dare reveal it? If you do, there's one rule. No sorting through and throwing crap out! If you do this, you must show it in all its disgusting glory!!!!!!!