Sunday, October 19, 2008

What's In My Purse, You Ask?


I'll tell you what's in it. A mess, that's what! Nothing drastically embarrassing mind you, but still, it was obviously way past due to be cleaned out, and I've only been using this purse for a month. I hate this thing too, because it's so floppy and big that I can never find anything in it. You may remember it from a long ago post... Jimmy brought it home with him from Italy. Fake Prada. Ooh la la.


MINE!

So, I dumped it all out and put it into piles according to... well, according to what it was! There, that doesn't look too bad, does it?
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It's only when I start focusing on the different piles that it starts to look ridiculous. I mean, what is with all these lipsticks I carry around? I almost never wear lipstick, as you've seen in umpteen pictures of me!
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Then we have the ever-present gum, half of which has no home, aside from floating from one end of my purse to the other. I blame this on the kids, of course. And dental floss is a must for when I've got something stuck in my teeth. This way I can either saw it out while driving, or do it while walking around Wal-Mart. Very inconspicuously of course. Yes, I'll admit, I've done it before dammit!

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Let's see. Change purse with stray coins that never made it in, and my wallet with a ten dollar bill that I just stuffed in my purse earlier today. See, yesterday Madison slept at Amrita's house, and today they were going to the movies. So, I took $20 out at the ATM for her. Today when she got home, she handed the change to Jimmy. Um, excuse me? Who drove to the ATM? Who drove her to her friend's house? Well, stupid silly man that he is he left it on the coffee table. So, the moment his back was turned, I nabbed it and hid it in my purse. Yep, I'm sneaky like that.

Then up there in the left corner is some Tylenol... again, not sure why I carry this since I rarely get headaches. But hey, I can help someone else out if they're in pain, right? And next to that is an Rx bottle with like one pill in it for nausea. I have a bad tummy, and that's just there for an emergency.

Below that, we have the requisite lighters and matches. I never use matches, but they're from my favorite tattoo place, and keep them for sentimental reasons. Did I tell you about how last year Madison decided to try matches and lit my purse on fire? No? Well, too bad, I'm not telling you now either. Oh shit, I just did, didn't I?

You can also see my key chain which says I "heart" San Diego. Jimmy's fabulous cousin Chrissy bought that for me while we were visiting last August. And next to that, just some boring pens, one of which seems to have exploded. I was wondering why I kept finding blue ink on my fingers! Mystery solved! I'm like frickin' Sherlock!

This next pic here is of my little "Jillisms" notebook. As you can see, it's been shoved around quite a bit in that cavernous fake Prada and is showing some wear. Not to mention the cover has separated itself from the notebook. I'd better get a new one STAT, because you just never know when Jill is going to say something stupid. I must be prepared! And speaking of Jill, that little candy is from our recent trip to Mama Fu's. Ah, that day was so filled with Jillisms, it gives me the warm fuzzies.

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Now, I'm usually really good about keeping my receipts neatly folded and inside my wallet, but when I've purchased something deemed unimportant, I either throw the receipt out, or into my purse. This is the result.

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And here is my junk pile. Old gum wrappers, one of the lists I hand to Danny, my favorite deli guy at Publix every week, as seen here. I must have been there one week when my man wasn't able to help me, and I actually had to wait on line like a regular customer, hence the numbered ticket thingy.

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And that my friends is what was in my purse. What's in yours? Do you dare reveal it? If you do, there's one rule. No sorting through and throwing crap out! If you do this, you must show it in all its disgusting glory!!!!!!!

23 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Buffie

    ROFLMAO!!! Only you could make the contents of a purse that friggin' funny!!! LOL!!!
    Buffie

  • Penny

    You are SO crazy. But you know that. Girl, you should write a book.

  • TattooedMinivanMom

    Dammit! Will I ever be friggin first??!!

    I'm jealous that you don't get headaches. I get migraines and they SUCK!

    I wanna set your purse on fire.

    Can you please kick down some thinly sliced Boar's Head honey maple ham and Boar's Head muenster cheese sammich?

    What're the lighters for? What're you smokin?

  • nikkicrumpet

    LOL...now that was good for some laughs! And I gotta say...WHAT A FREAKIN MESS WOMAN!!! Sheesh who you planning on kissing with all that lipstick?

  • squawmama

    OK... I am loving this one... You're friggin hilarious and I am LMAO here. People will think I have lost it sitting here by myself just cracking up... You're the funniest person I know...

    (((HUGS)))
    Donna

  • squawmama

    You know missy... I had an after thought.. YIKES.. Larry the SLEEP guy, Danny the DELI guy... How many guys do you have??? just wondering... LOL LOL LOL

    (((HUGS)))
    Donna

  • Tootsie

    my purse is like the bermuda freaking purse...it goes in and disappears until I start getting headaches from the weight of the darned thing!
    I do not...however have that much lipstick...but then I don't do lipstick...wait..neither do you! lol

  • Tismee2

    Just what I expected from you Justine! Although I did think you would have a little more clutter than that - maybe another week or two.....?

    You really don't need all those lipsticks.

  • justjill76

    that gum has been in your purse forever. I went to take a piece of it when I was at your house and it had fur on it so I quickly changed my mind. :)

  • Chris

    I'm proud of you litte girl, I was almost scared to go here. I'll bet you cleaned it out first.LOL LOL
    You're so funny... Tell me more about Jill, I love her too, Does she have a blog?

    Hugs,
    Chris

  • Naz

    I use to have that many lipsticks because I was a lipstick addict. That is, until I found Infinity by Max Factor that doesn't wear off. I also have emergency meds, just in case I have a headache or bathroom runs. A woman needs to be prepared. Dental floss is a must have too. Your next handbag needs to be a fun one, not a plain black bag. You are one fun woman!!!

  • Ma'dame French

    Very funny post silly! Yes our purses look ver similar with the exception of a measuring tape which I carry in mine (lol) French;)

  • Donna

    LMAO!!!! What's with all the Lipstick??? LOL. You are so funny! I am at my desk cracking up!

    xoxoxoxo
    Donna

  • onlymehere

    I'd blog my purse but it's boring....and clean. I clean it out at least once a week. I seriously don't carry much bz I never go anywhere!! If I'm going to Salt Lake or something I may throw some ibuprofen or antacids in but that's about it. If I'm going to the dentist or doctor I'll throw a book in but normally it's pretty empty. Wish I was the same with housekeeping. I'm so cluttered it's not even funny. You just learn to look beyond the clutter when you have four kids, a grandbaby, and you work at home!! Loved the blog bz it made me laugh this morning and boy did I need to laugh!!

  • Stephanie

    Ok, you called me out, and I accept. I'll do a purse post this afternoon. I promise to follow the rules. Ooooh, should be good.

  • SchmeckyGirl

    Wow! Not bad... I was expecting a bunch of packing peanuts in there too for some reason.

  • Shelia

    Justiney! You so crazy!! Luv ya!!
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  • Rhea

    My purse is a disorganized mess at the moment. I guess I should do this meme though, because I bet I have some real doozies in there.

  • nikkicrumpet

    Hey Justine....I don't know about normal wheatons...but Crumpet as been one of the easiest dogs I've ever had to house train, and everything else...he is such a sweetheart. The best thing is they DON'T shed at all...and he doesn't screw with my allergies and asthma...(neither does Ozzie...but the whole training thing has been ...trying..). My hubby always asks why we didn't get a second wheaton...why I HAD to have a schnauzer lol

  • Shelia

    Calling Justiney! Calling Justiney!! Oh, you must hurry over to Buffie's really fast! She needs you! She has these long facial hairs growing out from her upper lip! I told her you would save the day!! Hurry hurry with tweezers or wax or a lawnmower!!
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia :)

  • Stephanie

    Um, I think you and I both know my purse post was phenomenal;)

  • TattooedMinivanMom

    JUSTINE! Stop playing with all the crap in your purse and come to my "house". I've got a surprise for you!!

  • Nikki via The Scarlett Rose Garden

    Oh honey, dat's nuttin!! My lipsticks way out number yours!
    (and yes, you do wear lipstick- I've seen in on you and you look GARgeous!)

    It would take me forever to blog all of my purse inards.

    What a funny post... what, no tampons?