Friday, October 17, 2008

It's Like an Athletic Cup On My Face

Remember I told you that Michelle, the respiratory therapist would be coming back this week to fit me with a different mask? Well, she stopped by yesterday and I chose the same kind of mask that I had worn for the sleep study. I tried it on and it felt fine, so I gave her the "nasal pillow" back, and took this one. Well! I want my snausages back!!!!!!!!!

This thing is awful. Awful I tell you! When sitting upright, it's not so bad. But the moment I lay down it's so uncomfortable! It digs into my cheeks, it practically covers my upper lip, and it pokes me in the corners of the eyes!!!!!!! And did I mention it smells? Yes people, it IS like having an athletic cup over my face.

Just turn it over so the pointed side is facing up, and there you have it!!!!!!!! Look, I even took a picture of me pretending to sleep so you can see!


Hell, if I'm going to wear a cup over my nose, I'd prefer it looks like this...

Somebody should have bikini waxed him before they snapped this shot though, don't you agree?

Anyhoo, I've got Michelle putting my snausages in the mail, so hopefully I'll have them within a few days. I can't wait to get rid of this damn thing!

On a brighter note, my good friend Frenchie at British Colonial Love Affair gave me this beautiful new award. French, you are such a special person, are so filled with love and talent, and I am so honored to call you a friend. Thank you sweetie!

Now of course, dontchya know there are RULES that come with this award. I'm supposed to write about 6 things that I value, and 6 things that I do not value. So, here goes nothin'.

I Value:

1) My children and the joy they bring me each and every day. Even though Madison frustrates me by striving to be the very best liar on the planet, her smile and wit never fail to make me smile. And even though Mikayla is going through a case of puberty from hell, her saucy attitude and brilliant mind make me the proudest mama on earth.

2) The relationship I have with Jill and the joy it brings me. With Jill I can just be me, no pretenses, no makeup, no bra... just me. Who wouldn't want a sister as a best friend? And one you're so comfy with you don't mind if she comes in the bathroom and talks to you through the glass stall while you're showering?

3) Friendship. It's true that I don't have many "in real life" friends, Sinead being the exception, but I have made such good, strong friendships with so many women online (and a few men too!) that I never really feel alone.

4) Honesty. It's one of the most important things to me, and something I strive to be at all times, unless to spare a person's feelings. Even then I feel guilty if I tell a fib. This honesty thing has gotten me into hot water more times than I'd care to mention but at least my conscience is clear.

5) Financial security, which we barely have right now, but we've definitely got it better than oodles of others. Just knowing I have a roof over my head, food on the table, and clothes on our bodies is a good thing.

6) Coffee. I know, I know, it's shallow, but I'm sorry. I do love my coffee!

Things I don't value:

1) Dishonesty. And not just things that affect me. I'm not naming names here (ahem), but if you've bought a 2-pack of enemas and you use one, and then return the other, saying the first one leaked, when in fact it cleansed you quite well, I find that dishonest and unethical.

2) People who judge you just by the way you look. Whether you're fat or thin, black, white, or purple, whether you're a dwarf or mentally disabled, you deserve the same kindness and respect as the person next to you.

3) Racism. A bit different than #2, but along the same lines. Don't hate all Muslims just because a bunch of fanatics attacked us. Don't cringe each time you see an Arab person. They probably feel even more disgust than you do about what happened on 9-11.

4) SHIT! I'm stumped. I know there are plenty more things I could list, but I'm having a major brain fart that won't go away. You'll just have to accept 3 things I don't value!

31 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Buffie

    ROFLMAO!!!!! oh man, that ain't pretty Justine!

  • squawmama

    Ok my dear sweet friend... did you ask her if they had a smaller size snausage for you? And Ralphie boy wanted to know did your new mask whistle a tune for you because his did... I hope you soon find one that agrees with you.. there are many different styles... Hope you get some good ZZZZZZZ'S...


  • Buffie

    Oh great list Justine!!!

  • SchmeckyGirl

    Oh believe me I didn't judge you until AFTER I met you. tee hee hee

    You are hysterical pretending to be asleep. You had me fooled. lol!

    And yes, a little waxing would have been nice.

  • Insane Mama

    Sweet macarel, that looks like Jason's mask. I can't believe you have to wear that! You said for your life right? Seriously?

  • Ma'dame French

    LMAO~~yep definitely should have shaved~~~honesty is very important to me too~~~thanks for playing along dear one;)Believe it or not you will get used to the mask if necessary get your doc to prescribe some Ambien that will help!! French (muah)xoxo

  • nikkicrumpet

    You poor on earth could anyone sleep with that thing on! There has got to be a better way for hell sakes...we can put men on the moon and clone sheep but we can't make a mask that isn't ridiculously painful???
    And I'll volunteer to do that bikini wax for him!!!! I mean I don't want anyone to be I'll sacrafice myself for the good of blogland!

  • artis1111

    Too bad you can't paint bright red lips on that thing!Or maybe you can! Heee Kathy

  • Chris

    I'm going to have more sympathy for my daughter now, she still won't wears hers. And now I can see how miserable it would be to sleep in. She says it stinks...... And I liked your list too, a big turn off for me too when someone acts like something they're not.


  • Raxx - A day in the life

    I agree with Nikki, i mentioned in one of your earlier posts too, they need to make these much more user friendly, and not just wait for you to 'get used to it' you know?

    Like your list, it tells me so much about who you are (not that I did not have a pretty good idea before)

    Luv ya!

  • Naz

    You need to give yourself some time to get use to the mask. I like Kathy's idea of painting red lips on it.

  • Chris

    Hey kiddo, thanks for signing up as a follower That's sweet


  • Tismee2

    WOW - you have purple people over there?? Who knew??

    That face mask also looks like you could be flying a harrier jet! Can you say "bandits at one o'clock' in it for me please?

    Nope don't like that man's bits at all. I'm an eyes kind of girl.

    Nice award - very crafty

  • Donna

    My Favorite Manaiac!!!!! That mask looks uncomfortable and that fact that it sticks does not help any! (I would barf in it!) (LOL)

    You always manage to make me laugh!

    Oh yeah, the wings... you cook them until they are done. (LOL) I like mine well done! They look brownish in color... you will know!

    If you decide to bake them instead to frying them.... they wont taste any diferent. After you finish baking the wings.. you make your sauce and pour it over your baked wings just the same as you would had you fried them.

    I would not reccommend grilling them. (eeeekkkk)

    Have a great weekend and keep that jock strap off of your face. (LOL)


  • Life on Bonnie Lane

    I would't really want either one of those athletic supporters over my face. I just want what is underneath the jock strap. Ha. I know I am such a horn dog. Well, when you aren't getting any, thoughts drift that way! lol

    Hope you finally get something that brings you some relief! I meant the CPAP thingie, lol.


  • Mary De Bastos

    OMG! I laughed so hard!! your right, he needs a bakini wax...but I wouldn't mind having that on my face either! HAHAHAHA!!!
    It looks terriby uncomfortable trying to sleep with that thing on! I hope it gets better, and you dont have to use it!!

    Much love,

  • santamaker

    Oh my, Justine, was that Larry that posed for the jock strap picture? LOL... I don't know about the waxing thing... makes em look too girlie, if you ask me! HA! You sure have a way to look on the bright side! Good luck with the snausage... (i'm talkin' about the mask thingie here) ask for a kids size!
    Are you feeling any better getting more oxygen?

  • Shelia

    Hi Justiney!! Hope you find a nosey cup that works for you!! I didn't look at that guy but just a second!! Nope, I didn't even peep a second time! lol
    congrats on your award!!
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  • TattooedMinivanMom

    Did it smell like a cup too? That would be cool if it did. Especially if it was Will Ferrell's cup.

    Oh yeah, great list too :)

  • Rhea

    Congrats on your award!

    I love that you and your sister are so close. I miss my sister so much. And I'm bad about calling her, because I hate the phone.

    Nice package on that dude. Wow. That was quite a visual.

    Glad your snausages are on their way home to you. you crack me up!

  • jill jill bo bill

    Justine!!! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! You are a hoot! And the mask-you are so great to joke about it. I am a nurse so I MUCH respect for RTs and what all is involved with, uh, breathing and all. I am so glad to meet you!!! I'll be back.

    Oh. and my sister Amelia Bedelia is my best friend, too. I am so with you on that!!!

  • Naz

    You have such a beautiful relationship with Jill. I wish I had a sister.

  • Picket

    Oh my word girl!!! You are braver than me...I could not wear would make me feel like I was being smothered..oh bless you girl...I don't see how you stand it! lol I nearly pass out when they go to put me to sleep for surgery and it they start putting a mask over my nose I feel like I am about to be gased to my death! oh the horrors! lol I just hope you get better and they take care of this thing for you...Thanks for coming by to see the Burly Boys...yes they were duck hunting..I just didn't want to show any pics of the dogs retrieving the ducks...that is sad to me...but they are some of the best duck hunting dogs ever! lol The boys just give the signal and they will even go out and bring back the decoys for them! lol Have a great Sunday girl!

  • Lynette

    OH man, that is just flat out uh, GROSS....LOL

  • Alex

    You never cease to amaze me with your humor and how you use it to lift yourself and other around you up, when life sucks. You rock! :)

  • Tootsie

    if it is supposed to help you looks very would think they could do

  • Shelia

    Justiney!! Hope you've had a great weekend and were able to get some sleep!! When are you going to reveal your new 'hair'!! I want to see your new color! Nope, I did not look at that guy again, nope, not me! lol

    Be sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  • Rachelle

    Congrats on the new award! As for the mask ~ how in the world do they expect people to sleep in that. Hope the snausages get more comfortable! Love your lists ~ you and I seem to have a lot in common. I'm so glad we found each other!

  • onlymehere

    Some week you say?????? That truly is my life. Never a dull moment! Sorry about your troubles with sleeping. Hopefully they'll resolve soon with the new mask. This is a tough row to hoe but you'll make it!

  • TattooedMinivanMom

    Hot Pockets!!

  • Nikki via The Scarlett Rose Garden

    Ugh, it does look like a cup! I hope you find comfort soon girl.

    Guys in skimpy stuff like this turns me off. I'd rather see em in boxers. Don't wanna see their junk all smooshed up like a pillow that looks like the stuffing is coming outta the sides, LOL!