Friday, October 24, 2008

Look What I've Been Reduced To!

Oh boy, first I was cursed with the dreaded CPAP machine and all the discomfort that entails, now this! What's this? Very swollen limbs, that's what! Most prominently my left foot and ankle. It's been doing this for over a week now. I wake up and my foot is normal size. A few hours later, after sitting at the computer and just floating around the house, I look like I've got elephantitis! You don't believe me? BAH! You should know me by now. I don't fib. Hell, I don't even exaggerate most of the time. And just to prove it, here's a picture of my foot from two nights ago.


Oh, that's right. You've all already seen this from my picture game. Well, tough patooties. It's part of my story!

So yesterday I went to see my doctor. She took one look at my foot and said, "Whoa, you're retaining a lot of fluid there!" No! Ya think? She proceeded to examine me, made me pull up my pant leg and stand up for her, where she proceeded to poke, prod, rub and squeeze my leg. Nope, no pain, so that's good, but she said it wasn't just my foot and ankle that was swollen. The swelling went all the way up to the knee. First order of business is a sonogram, which was supposed to be done today on an emergency basis, just in case of a blood clot. But, I couldn't make it today, so I'll be having it done Tuesday. In the meantime, I'm on a very mild water pill and... get this... No, I can't even say it out loud! It's just too horrendous. Announcing this to all of blogland will just be too much of a blow to my pride, my vanity, my self worth! I can't do it.

Shit, you didn't really believe all that crap, did you?

I have to wear compression stockings! Also known as support hose. Also known as granny socks. Ain't my leg looking purty?

Do you see how swollen I am? Ugh, this sucks! Have to cut down on my salt too, which if you ask me is a major travesty. So, now you all can feel double sorry for me, because not only do I have to wear these stupid things all day, but then at night I get to shove snausages up my nose. Did I mention they came in the mail today? Yep, got them back and have to send the mask from hell back to the company. Let me remind you what the snausages look like...


These days I'm feeling very speshool, that's for sure!

38 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Dazzlemama

    Oy vey!- them are some really perdy socks you got there Justine!

  • tardevil

    I hope you get better soon. My husband recently got one of those machines & it has made a world of difference in his personality (for the better)! He was worn out. He had to have them change his mask out & it's more like an oxygen mask now...instead of sausages. :O) Good luck w/ the swelling. If you're like me, the last thing I need is for something on my body to get bigger!

  • nikkicrumpet

    WELL MAJOR CRAPPOLA....granny socks and snausage nose...this is not gonna get you on the cover of peoples hotties women! But at least you still have your sense of humor...and your blog is still kicking Jill's blog lol

  • Happy To Be

    OMG Justine you have been having one H of a week girl...I don't know if I could go without my salt girl..Now take your foot out of your mouth Haha!! what a smart ass I am..hey could't say that kind of stuff on RMS..but I am now free at last!! have a great weekend girl..Hugs and smiles Gloria

  • Tootsie may be starting a new fad! hey...anything is possible...I saw stirrup pants and leg warmers recently.....ick!
    hang in there...things have to get better for you soon

  • Shelia

    Poor poor Justiney!! I'm sorry your swelling up like that! Does your CPap machine have anything to do with you think? But dahling, you look mahvelous in dem hose!!
    In the midst of it all - you're still the funniest one!
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia :)

  • Tismee2

    How delightful! I'd stay indoors, someone may think you've escaped from the old folks home!

    I wore those stockings after having Alexander because I had a bit of fluid - they itched me to death so I kept taking them off - only to get wrong from the midwives.

  • Tash

    Hey, just found your post cos someone googled 'compression stockings' and found my blog...and your post was on the search results too!
    So, me too! Just ordered some hot black ones, and beize for summer legs, and a pair of brown, just to mix it up!
    Elephantitis fears, I hear you! I have been calling my leg my 'peg leg', cos it's going to look like a wooden one for summer....but better than the alternative, right!?
    Good luck with it!

  • Bridget

    You a mess! : P

  • philly

    Those stockings look uncomfortable.

    Good luck and feel better


  • Naz

    I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, but coffee is a culprit in adding sodium. Drink lots and lots of water to make up for the coffee.

  • Chris

    Well, aren't you the Miss Sexpot. Jill should have a ball with this one. Good luck with the test . You have enough going on now.


  • Elizabeth

    Is the breathing machine working? I think it's strange that only 1 leg is retaining water. HMMM

  • Buffie

    ROFL!!! You rook mahvalous darlink!
    You're in good company, Mike's got his on...he'd kill me if I put that photo of him wearing them doing that ballerina pose! lol!!!

  • santamaker

    Awww, Justine, sorry to hear about your swelling, but I'm so glad you went to see your doctor! (he he, I was right, she is a woman ).. I hope the sexy socks help you out! Let us know how you do on Tuesday.
    Thanks for your no brainer recipe idea! It sounds delicious and one I will certainly try! Is it a family recipe? On Monday, I'll do a link thing if you want to participate, let me know... If not I will just add this one to my post.

  • Alex

    My dearest and sweetest are such a wonderful and FUNNY as hell individual. You truly amaze me...your ability to take anything that is remotely "tragic" and spin it around to make people around you laugh. How DO you do it?

    Seriously, though, I hope that things start settling down for you and that you start feeling better overall.


  • Shelia

    Morning, Justiney! Were you able to sleep last night with your snausages up your little nose? Hope your swelling will go down.
    Thanks for coming to see my pink potties.
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  • squawmama

    You are my HERO! Who else can I count on to show themselves.. no matter if it's beauty or the beast... I LMAO but on a serious note I hope all is good... If you need a nurse I'll come up... LOL LOL As far as the snausages... I don't think they are cen tered on your face... maybe that is the problem... Love YA,


  • Gollum

    Hope you feel better soon. My husband had thought about getting a C-PAP. His snoring is epic.

    I use earplugs and they have really hurt my ears. I even bought an herbal ear cure. Last night, I noticed that my ear was bleeding. But it turned out to be raspberry Sugar Free Jell-O. It's the god's truth. I don't know how it got in my damn ear. Except I was writing and eating and listening to music on my son's IPod. Red stuff was on his ear-piece, too.

    There! I hope I made you laugh!
    Take care.

  • Life on Bonnie Lane

    Poor Tiney! Snausage nose, granny socks and toe thumbs!

    I retain water too, and I have to take water pills. Makes me pee every hour in the morning. Heaven help me if there is no bathroom near!

    Hope they get to the bottom of this and make you all better!


  • Karen

    Hope you are better soon and glad that you got the snausage machine back.

  • Rhea

    You are looking pretty darn hot in all that gear. Now you need some purple streaked hair. :o)

    Is the swollen leg/foot painful?

  • Dina

    awww...hang in there Justine! maybe you can bedazzle them?:)

  • TattooedMinivanMom

    Oh sugar, honey pie darlin, I'm so sorry...hahahahahahahahaha!

    But seriously, you don't mess around w blood clots. I got 1 when I was 17 and it travelled to my lungs. I had to stay as still as possible in the hospital taking intravenous blood thinners for a week. If I moved it would've travelled to my brain and given me a stroke. I had to wear the tight ass hose too. Very uncomfortable but very necessary. Hope our sonogram goes well.

  • SchmeckyGirl

    Oh poor you!

    I want your next blog to be about you going out in public with the socks and the mask on. Publix! Or Target! Pwease?

  • Ma'dame French

    Justiney this too will get better eventually~~~Hugs my friend~~French;)

  • Lynette

    Doing my blog hopping this morning and stumbled across you - how have I missed your blog - you are totally cracking me up here!! I hate you're not feeling well and have to wear all that, but you made me laugh out loud - sorry!!
    Hope you feel better soon?? I want to be a follower, please?? I'm not ashamed to beg - LOL
    Have a good rest of the weekend.

  • Happy To Be

    GM found me girl YAHOO!!! I was so Happy to see you there girl...Yes I am in the world of blog now.. still trying to learnmy way around here...I tried to leave a comment at Buffie and her thing would not take it don't know why..Now she probably thinks I'm a snob...Thanks girl for coming by I already have you on my blog list.. hugs and smiles Gloria

  • Alex

    Hi Justine...thinking of you and hoping you are having a good weekend.

    As far as sharing my romeo...uh...NOT! ;) BUT, I can see if he has another hot prince that I can send your way!


  • Lynette

    WOW...very sexy from head to toe;) LOL

    Please get your tail in there for that sonogram tho!! Don't make me drive across town, stalk you and drag you in for it myself!! Geez woman!!

  • nikkicrumpet

    Sheeesh I got called a fart and a dork today. I'm on a thing you know I'll be wearing your socks! hehehe Have a great sleep filled, peaceful, dreams of hot horny men night!

  • Raxx - A day in the life

    Hey there! Did you miss me? I spent the weekend at the in-laws, took my laptop but no internet there!

    Besides the Catholic School stockings, what is the solution to your swollen limbs?

    I hope the new mask is better for you. And you ARE speshol!

  • Happy To Be

    GM the foot girl?? Hope you are up and about and not hopping around today.. Have a great Monday.. Hugs and smiles Gloria

  • Nikki via The Scarlett Rose Garden

    Now what in the hell would be making you swell up like that all of a sudden. That sucks!

    I guess if you had a real "fall" those socks wouldn't be so bad, lol!

    I could not give up my salt... tho I with WW core I don't eat much restaurant food, or boxed/pre-made foods... so that cuts out a lot. But table salt? Bring it on!!

    Hope you get some answers soon.

  • Penny

    I hope they find out what is doing this soon. You really don't need to have this to deal with!

    I first saw the dishes on my mother-in-laws table in the early 80's and loved them immediately. When she passed away she made sure I got them and then like an idiot I sold them. (Thought we were moving to a teeny condo at the time.) So glad to get them back, even if they aren't the original. I won't be so stupid again. If I weren't being cremated, I'd probably ask to have them put in my casket. LOL!!!

  • Shelia

    Justiney! Where are you? I'll bet you're sleeping! I've missed you and just wanted to come by and check on you.
    Hope you're being a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  • Raxx - A day in the life

    Hello?? Miss Tiney!! Why are you not visiting me?!! I know, I know it's a REALLY long post! sorry.........................

    but READ IT!!


  • Sherry Martschink

    I'm doing the CPAP also. It really is annoying, isn't it?