Friday, October 23, 2009

There's Retail. There's Therapy. But This Ain't Retail Therapy.

Wal*Mart. I think most of us love it and hate it at the same time, am I right?

I was there with the girls recently and when we finally returned home and I'd put my purchases away I started thinking about the things I love about Wal*Mart, and consequently, the things I hate. I guess it shouldn't have come as much of a surprise that my "pro" column was sadly lacking compared to my "con" column.

For instance, I love that Wal*Mart's prices are competitive with almost all other stores. I also love the fact that they have a huge selection of everything from car batteries to ethnic foods and everything in between. Okay, so the quality generally sucks, but if you're shopping at Wal*Mart you automatically have to expect it and not be too choosy.

I do believe that's where my pro/love column ends.

Let us go on to the con/hate column, shall we?

The people! Look, I won't lie and say that I wear my best duds to go to Wally World, or that I even put on a speck of makeup to shop. Honestly? Half the time I go without styling my hair.

But am I clean? Do my clothes match? Are they without gaping holes and greasy stains? Yes to all of the above. The same cannot be said for many of the other people who browse those hallowed aisles. Hell, some can't even claim a full set of teeth. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen women walking through the store with no bra on, nipples erect, but usually pointing south because they're old, saggy, probably-nursed-15-children kind of boobs.

And OMG, don't even get me started on people who put their almost-newborn babies down in those filthy infant seats that the store provides. Just looking at them I swear I can see the cooties jumping up and down in glee over a receiving a new host. Ewwwwwww.

Kinda like these, with that squishy vinyl crap that can absorb all kinds of grossness to be passed on to the next helpless baby.

And how about those helpful employees? Months ago I had a problem with one of my purchases. It was ringing up the wrong price. Unfriendly cashier called the relevant department for a price check and I waited. And waited. And waited some more, all the while with steam coming out of my ears. I thought I couldn't get any angrier, but oh, I did. Because this bitch turned off her light, put up the "lane closed" sign and left to take a break! With me standing on the frickin' frackin' line!!! She left me there!!! I then had to search down a manager to take care of this and by that time I was ready to slap anyone silly who got in my way. I was this close to walking out of the store with the unpaid item, and that is so not me. Dammit, it would have been justified. Well, kinda. If you're of the criminal element. And I'm not.

It's so great that they have 30 or 40 checkout lines, isn't it? But not so great that no matter how busy and crowded the store is, they only have a handful of them open. Even on a Friday night when the store is hopping. Assholes.

I hate standing on line. It's not just a time thing, but it's an anxiety thing. I feel trapped knowing that I either have to stand there as long as they make me, or bolt out of the store, having to leave all my stuff behind. I start sweating profusely, shifting from foot to foot with my heart pounding like a bass drum. So yeah, I hate the lines in Wal*Mart.

Oh my goodness. Ooh! Don't you just love those turny-carousel-bag-thingies all Wal*Marts switched to a few years back? No? Me neither! Is there anyone reading this who has not accidentally left behind a bag or two because it/they were hiding on the other side of the turny thing that the stupid cashier did not turn fully around? Bastards!

You know what? I could probably sit here all night listing all the shit I hate about Wal*Fart (not a typo) but now I'm starting to actually get pissed off that I return there time and time again when I so obviously hate it! What is it about that damn store that just keeps drawing us back into its evil web of retail deception? Is it just me? Please tell me it's not just me. Please!

Note to self: Go to Target next time.

Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

33 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Sophia should be a comedian. I GUARANTEE you will make tons of money!

    You had me busting out laughing....then COUGHING from my cold....then laughing....then COUGHING....then laughing.....THE GAGGIN from COUGHING too hard from my cold.

    Luv ya! :)

  • Cole

    Lord, I hate Wal-Mart. But in the rare instance I go in there - I leave feeling prettier, smarter and like I'm saner than the general population. :-)

  • Stephanie

    You just listed almost every reason I'm a Target girl.

  • bj

    O, Justine, I hate it with a purple passion! JUST. HATE. IT.!!
    and, yet, like you, I go back..because it is about 15 blocks from my house, Target is on the other side of town and I hate driving all over the place. So..I go back to Walmart. I buy paint there, which I like...the groc. part of it is ok and the clothes?...well, I don't like their clothes much at all. Penney's is better for clothes. Ya get what ya pay for, I think.
    I just came from Walmart and went there to buy that much talked about wonder paint, OIL RUBBED BRONZE..they didn't have it. Made me about half mad, then decided to buy some hot wings for our dinner, in the deli. OUT OF ' this time, I really am ticked. Just came on home! Those things shouldn't make me MAD...must have been tired.
    hugs, bj
    p.s. I did tell you, didn't I, how much I love your blog dress? I love the colors...and I love the way your name is written at the end of each post. Looks really cool.
    And, I am wondering if Jill is ok?

  • xinex

    I hear ya, Justine. I agree with everything you said. What happened to your other blog?..Christine

  • The World As I See It

    I totally agree with you. I hate walmart and I shop and target most of time because they are rude at wal mart

  • Amy K.

    Speaking of the freaky people, have you seen this site? I love it, and they're on Facebook too!

  • Jill

    I thought that was you in that pic with the girl in tank.

    Look to the left at the girl with the black tank top!!

    I hate those round things.

  • thatgirlblogs

    I truly hate it there. Target is like heaven, by comparison.

  • KK

    Yeah, I refuse to go to Walmart unless I have no other options.

  • Happy To Be/ Gl♥ria

    No it's not just you Justine...I go back because it's the only store within 15 miles from me...I wish they had a traffic control cop in them...I'm so tired of people making a reunion when they meet someone they know there and stand there taking up the aisle and you have to walk into another aisle to get around them..Or they put there Basket on one half of the aisle and there big butt on the other half and won't's like good put your basket in the front of you so people can pass...That's my biggest complain about the people that shop Wal-mart...And girl we won't even go into the way they dress to shop here in Farkleville...I would't even leave the house with some of those outfits on...And the kids...don't get me started on that one..does anyone watch their kids's like Wal-mart is a place to let them run wild Have these Mom's not heard about John Walsh's son Adam and what happen to him at Sears..Anyway as you can see I'm on my soap box girl ha ha!!
    Thank you so much for coming by and reading about my little Kyra..She really is our family miracle baby...They didn't give her a week to live when she was born and now she's 10 months YAHOO!! Hugs and smiles My dear friend...Gl♥ria

  • blueviolet

    If it weren't for the great prices...

  • Michele

    OMG...I am so with you! We have got to have the most disgusting people shopping at ours..Seriously...cover up your shit because I don't want to see it hangin out. And don't even get me started with the help there. The only department that is civil and knows what they're doing is the pharmacy...and that's because they now know me and Glenn by name...sad I know!

    I wish I could afford Target...they're just so much more expensive. Sigh...guess I'll keep going back to wally world.


  • cindy

    Hate that round thingy where they put the bags...I always give it a good spin before I leave..just to make sure I have all of my packages...really pisses off the cashier. They do have some darn good prices...(I do alot of shopping for the store there)~ buy it there sell it here~...(they're cheaper then my supplier!)

  • bj

    Tiney, I've tried for 2 days to take your cute, new button over to my place won't go. Everytime I click on it, a black and white polka dot page flashes and then...I highlight it,, go over and HTML it on my custom page but it doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?

  • Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

    You are definitely not alone in your love/hate relationship with Wal*Mart. If we had a Super Target in our area, I'd probably do most of my shopping there, but we don't. Wal*Mart is cheaper than the local grocery stores, so I'm forced to battle the aisles - and the lines. HATE the lines...they even had a commercial last year that they open more registers if the lines get too long...yeah, right! Not even!

    And yes, I've inadvertently left bags behind on that stupid spinning thing because the cashier forgot to spin it.

  • bmwgal1948

    Due to my job I am in WM every week.No,I don't work for WM I am a Sales Rep. for Unilever.I have 9 WM in my territory and I hate them. They treat reps. and vendors like trash,and we are there to help them. I have to carry a laptop in the store,so I need to use one of their filthy shopping carts to do my work. Well-----guess what,they have a new policy. I am not allowed to use a cart. I am supposed to go to the back and drag out one of those huge silver carts and put my laptop on it! If that doesn't look stupid and takes up so much room. I could go on and on about WM. I rarely buy anything there.Their meat has so much crap in it,I would never buy it.I just shop the sales at Publix,Target or Winn Dixie. Linda (aka Lin)

  • Hortist

    no experience with walmart so no comments, nice weekend :)

  • Anonymous

    Yup, I'm a Target girl now. I can't stand the rudeness all around at Walmart.

  • Elizabeth

    I have been to Wal-Marts in a variety of states, and had a few bad experiences (gross shoppers withstanding) but nothing like you describe at "your" store. I have 2 that are equi-distant for me, and one is significantly cleaner, better stocked, and much nicer employees.

  • Poetic Shutterbug

    I have three words for you. "Shop Walmart Online." I shop Walmart all the time but have never been in the store only because there isn't one close by my place. And, after reading your post, I never will walk in one of the stores. I do however get what I want when I shop there online. Of course paying shipping is a pain but it beats the lines.

  • kiakai / Kelly

    It's like giving birth. It's a painful thing to endure, but soon you forget the bad...think only about the good... and do it again.
    :) Kelly

  • Ginger

    I feel forced to shop at Walmart cause we don't have anything else in town. But I can honestly say, the people that work at ours are very nice.
    My main gripe is that they restock the shelves in the daytime when everyone is shopping, yet they are open 24 hours...why not do them at night when it's empty? So not only do you dodge everyone shoppinig, you have to go around the stock clerks and their boxes of stuff. It gets worse the closer we get to Christmas.

  • Ginger

    PS...I am going to try to grab your button and see if I can do it right.

  • MJ's doghouse

    ya I worked at walmart canada for eight years....eight long years....i loved the customers...and loved my coworkers....but ...nahhh walmart ...i am glad to be gone...and i dont shop there...but...we dont have a sad....but you did make me laugh...and we dont have those round things suggestion to all you ladies and men that are having ugly days or bloated days....go to will come out feeling way better about yourself...

  • Amy

    I shop at Walmart as little as possible! Gee....I think I've seen the butt crack lady at our store. HA!

  • AndreaLeigh

    ok, i had to do a double take here. I clicked on your picture (in my comments) and say the new name and look and though I was lost! love the new look and name.

    regarding the comment you left me - I work 40 hours... I have mondays off, so I only do the 8-6 thing on tuesday-friday.

    walmart can be so gross, can't it? there are certain walmarts here that are super duper clean and others where I swear you will see used tampons in the grocery section of the store.

  • Tootsie

    Ya know what? Wal Mart here is very different than those where you are...when we were in Florida...we were amazed at HOW different it is.
    for one thing...we don't have those round bag carousel things...and our colors are more blue and yellow than the red you showed here in the signs...there are about 20 cashiers...and only about 3
    we just got those awful self checkouts here last year...ya wanna see what tootsie looks like mad...make me use one of those!
    I admit that our city is 1/2 the size of a 1/4 of yours...and that we don't even have the superwalmart here's coming...but the thought of going to shop there lately turns me off of shopping in general!
    I just thought it was me! lol

  • Tabby

    Oh you nailed this one Justine! I try to go on a week night to avoid the insane crowds that the weekends tend to draw, or welfare check day. They must have those stupid bag turn things in every walmart and I too have been a victim of a missing bag. I love going there when I am feeling bad about myself because I always leave feeling a lot better after seeing some of the shoppers....funniest website ever:

    Have a great night

  • Four in Costa Rica

    I can heal your Walmart hate. Move to a developing country in Central America where there is no Walmart, no Target, and I promise you that when you return to the US you will think Walmart is heaven on earth!

    It's Mecca, baby. :)

  • Life on Bonnie Lane

    I have to say that our Wally Worlds up here are brand new buildings and do look nice and clean so far, and we have a lot of nice people working there, including my best friend! I do love me some Walmart! Thankfully, everyone seems to shop there, not just the rag tag remnants of people.

    My cons are that it is anti-union and runs local businesses out of town...but I can't even really say that any more as so many have stuck around after all.


  • Nikki via The Scarlett Rose Garden

    I too share your love/hate relationship with Wallyworld. But I rarely ever go to Tarjay because they're more exspensive. (And their lines are worse!)

    I can't beleive that little wench left you standing in line! WTF!?

    What has pissed me off lately is that they quit carrying about three things that I regularly buy. I bitched about it and it didn't do any good, now I have to go out of my way to get those items. HMPF!

    I have spent WAY too much time on the People of Walmart site.

    When my sister went to check out their new home area I asked her if they checked out the local Walmart while there, and how the people were, lol... she said they did and the people looked OK. (for a WM anyway..)

  • Sara's Sweet Surprise

    The Good, the bad and the ugly....
    Unfortunately their prices can't be matched by any competitor. When it comes to Christmas shopping I know better than to buy anthing from Walmart. My son and DIL refuse to shop at Walmart, because of their (foreign) labor practices, and my kids really root for the small mom & pop businesses.
    I'm still prayin' for a Publix. Which I've heard it'll never happen, one can hope....

    Sweet Witches,