Friday, April 3, 2009

Aimless Thoughts

  • Is it wrong to warn an oncoming car that there’s a cop hiding behind the trees, picking off speeders?  I mean, I don’t necessarily want to advocate speeding, but who do you know that can drive just 35 mph for an entire 3 miles?

12166025YkmGNKaTgO_phThis could be the actual bitch that gave me a $186.00 ticket on that particular road.  Thanks, officer dike.  What?  Not the chubby chaser type?  Batting my long, luxurious eyelashes sure didn’t help.


  • Why does my toilet seat keep coming loose?  I don’t remember this happening during my childhood years.  Did we have magic toilet seats back then?

Ooh, speaking of magic potties, look what I just found!  cordless lighted toilet seat TGJill would LOVE to have one of these.  She likes anything that lights up.  And I truly mean anything.  

Anyway, one of these days I’m going to shift the wrong way and go flying across the room.


  • How bad is it that I’m 38 years old and just recently found out that stainless steel isn’t magnetic?  And I only found this out when I went to put a magnet on my new refrigerator and it kept falling off?  I thought the magnet was defective until I tried the non-stainless side of the fridge.


I think I’ll just stick to my magnetic personality and stop worrying about being dumb as a post ignorant in some areas.

I did do some quick research , which informed me that some stainless is magnetic, but apparently my fridge is of the “austenitic” variety which has higher amounts of chromium and added nickel, making it un-magnetic.  Bet you didn’t know that!  And you can bet your ass I won’t know it two minutes from now.


  • Dick.  Why would anyone name their child Dick?  I understand it’s a nickname for Richard, but why???  Was there some point in time when being referred to as “dick” wasn’t derogatory, therefore making for a cute nickname?

And if that wasn’t bad enough, the Brits go ahead and name a freaking dessert Spotted Dick.  Am I the only person who finds this inherently wrong? 


This could be the only time you’ll get the chance to say, “Hey honey, go put your dick in the microwave for two minutes, would ya?”

I  even found this on Wikipedia:

‘There are many nicknames for Spotted Dick including "Spotted Richard", "Dick in a box", "Dotted Lloyd", "Dick with a dot" and "Dickie Burton" as well as many others.’

I don’t care how refined and upper-crust those Brits think they are.  Honestly?  I think they’re fucked in the head.





Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!



39 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Stephanie

    My mother dated a guy in college named Dick Penix. I shit you not.

  • Justine/Justiney/Tiney

    I don't believe you, Stephanie!!!!!!!!

  • Cathy

    OMG...lmao.. Ya know the toilet thing.. I thought the same thing the other day when the kids were in the downstairs and I ran (which isn't in my vocabulary) upstairs to the kids and was full speed ahead when I hit the seat and almost flew into the shower. I jsut sat there and thought..were are toilets ever like this or is just my fat ass? I guess if RAN was in my vocabulary maybe they wouldn't be like that. ..

    My dad's name is Richard, or Dick or Dickie as his british grandparents called him...I was always scared to tell people what his name was.. never heard of spotted dick.. I will have to ask G about it.

  • Kris

    Okay it's not bad enough that they eat Dick, but Spotted Dick? And it's SPONGE PUDDING? WTF????
    If you have to eat Dick, I would think that you wouldn't want it to be a sponge, or would you? hmmmmm!!!

    Have a happy day


  • AndreaLeigh

    this just made me pee my pants. so funny!

    How bad is it that I’m 38 years old and just recently found out that stainless steel isn’t magnetic? And I only found this out when I went to put a magnet on my new refrigerator and it kept falling off? I thought the magnet was defective until I tried the non-stainless side of the fridge.

  • roy/elisabeth dean

    OMG! Dick Penix??? Noooooo.....What if her mother had MARRIED the guy and she was Steph Penix? And if her mother was, say, Deborah Harry, then the engagement announcement would be
    "The Harry Penix Wedding" OMG,OMG, OMG!!! OR....what if he had a son and called him Little Dick Penix??
    Crap, I have to go to bed.
    By the way, I liked your post. Sorry about getting distracted by your comments~

  • Mrs. B. Silly

    My next door neighbor is a dick, um I mean his name is Dick. lol
    I was ROFL at your comment regarding putting the dessert in the microwave.
    p.s. I don't consider myself stupid but I did try to stick a magnet to a stainless steel fridge too so don't beat yourself up about that one!

  • Anonymous

    Erm, how long exactly was it since some dude invented America????

    We use 'proper' English terms and names for centuries before you lot dragged your sorry asses into the world.

    Dick is prefectly proper and is in no way offensive to us. And btw, you had Dick van Dyke (and his totally hilarious take on a cockney accent!)

    Acording to Wiki - "Spotted dick is a steamed suet pudding containing dried fruit (usually currants), commonly served with either custard or butter and brown sugar. Spotted refers to the dried fruit (which resemble spots) and Dick may be a contraction/corruption of the word pudding (from the last syllable) or possibly a corruption of the word dough.[1] Another explanation offered for the latter half of the name is that it comes from the German word for "thick," in reference to the thickened suet mixture. There are many nicknames for a Spotted Dick including "Spotted Richard", "Dick in a box", "Dotted Lloyd", "Dick with a dot" and "Dickie Burton" as well as many others. It is a cultural part of English Cuisine."

    and don't get me started on things like beef jerky(!!!) and 'fanny packs'

    bloody heathens.(;}

  • Amy

    hhmm.. are you punking us girl?

    But hey, I drive on long,and I mean LONG country roads each day.. and those punk~ars cops sit and clock and it totally ticks me off!

    See ya!

  • Justine/Justiney/Tiney

    OMG, these comments are hysterical!!!!!! I nearly spit my coffee at the pooter from a few of them.
    And Gail? I made that "Brit" comment just for you. I love it when your tail feathers get all twisted in a knot! heeheeheeeeeeee

    Justine :o )

  • Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

    Your aimless thoughts ROCK! And your reader comments are totally hilarious, too!! Sorry, I'm laughing too hard I'm not able to leave a cohesive comment... ;)

  • Anonymous

    Reel me in!

    just remember, I google earthed you and I know where you live and one of these days I might just pay you a visit - when you are least expecting me!! (I'd keep a light on if I were you!!!!)


  • Elizabeth

    Here's one for you...When I lived in Houston there was a restaurant called Furrs. Would you eat there?

  • Shannon

    I love random posts like this...

    I'm with ya on naming a kid "Dick"... and I've never understood how "Dick" became a nickname for "Richard".

    Another nickname I personally don't like is "Chuck"... sorry, but I can't stand it! I've told my hubs that if his name was Charles... and everyone, including all his family called him "Chuck"... I don't care, I'd insist that everyone start calling him "Charlie"!

  • Michael

    Dick in a can? Who would have thunk?!? Surely the creator is a big, flaming homo.

  • Anonymous

    I didn't know stainless steel isn't magnetic either. I actually thought refrigerators were magnetic no matter what coating they had on the outside. Am I going to have to travel with a magnet in hand when I shop for a new one?

    No matter what Tismee2 says about Spotted Dick and how delightful of an English treat it may be, ain't no way I'm gonna eat any kind of dick with spots.

  • sue

    OMG I had to laugh out loud at the spotted dick, then I read stephanies comment and had to fall on the floor!! LOLOL! Sorry but Dick Cheney comes to mind for some odd reason,(dick). So, guess what Tiney, the floor is officially cleaned. Now on to the painting! I think I may have changed my mind on the green, so this may take awhile!

  • Ginger

    I am cracking up at the post and the comments. You know when we were punk teenagers and we used to call the stores asking if they had prince albert in a can? Can you imagine calling and asking if they have Dick in a box? Tismee2 has a point about the beef jerky. You wonder who thinks these names up.
    Every once in awhile I have to tighten up the screws on the toilet seat too. The darn things sure get loose easy.
    In our town, some of the cop cars are unmarked and no lights on top. They use everything from trucks to sports cars. You never know when you are being watched.
    Hope your weekend is going great.

  • Anonymous are just freaking hilarious. I don't know about you (thinking a magnet is defective)!!

    Funny post-- how's Strudel??

  • ~♥~ Monica S

    Loved your post.. but this time the comments even made me laugh!!!
    hahah!!! WOOOW!

    HAppy Easter!

  • Terrie's Lil' Piece of Serenity

    I about pissed my pants reading about the dike cop.

  • Rachelle

    Hahahahahahahah!! ~ I can't stop! My eyes are watering and I think I might pee myself a little! Hahahahahahahah!! My husband thinks I am a maniac! Hahahahahahahahah!!

  • Life on Bonnie Lane

    OMG! Not only is your post hilarious, these are the best comments! Sooooo many things come to mind!

    You said Jill likes "anything" that lights up. I once went to one of "those parties" that sell funny toys, ya know what I'm talking about? Anyhow, they actually had a Battery Operated Boyfriend that lit up. I mean, where it's going, why does it need to be lit up? What are you going to find up in the va jay jay?

    On to the name brother is Richard and was called Dickie (hehe) when he was little. He was born in 1960 when I guess this was okay. Later, of course, he got old enough to be called Dick, but in junior high, classmates started coming up to him and saying "Hi Dick" and looking straight at his crotch. That's when he decided he was now Richard. Years later he decided he was now Rich, and the man does like money, believe me. When I am annoyed at him, I tell people that he thinks he's Rich, but he's still just a Dick. Har, har!

    And that Spotted Dick...holey moley! Didn't Michael Jackson have one of those? I suppose he probably still does unless they removed that along with most of his nose.

    Surely you must have seen Justin Timberlake's "Dick in a Box" video on YouTube! I think it was first done on Saturday Night Life. If you haven't seen it, you have got to check it out!


  • nikkicrumpet

    ROFL...I loved the "penis in the microwave" comment...too funny!! And those Brits are really confused...heck they even call the frontal part of a lady a "fanny" hmmm I thought that was the back part!

  • Lisa (aka) French

    I have a tin of Spotted Dick in my cupboard lol>>>>>>> lol My entire sidebar is gone I have no way of seeing what;s what in blogland! Arghhh!!! Hugs French;)

  • Buffie

    ROFLMAO at roy/elisabeth dean's comment!!!! Hilarious post!


  • Anonymous

    Great post! Love it!

    Technically it is illegal to warn oncoming traffic of a cop..but I always do anyways.

    Oh, and we have "fake" stainless steel-so ours is, in fact, magnetic!

  • Lavender Chick

    First off, I didn't know stainless steel wasn't magnetic... I love how you keep me educated.

    Now - this dick stuff, you completely CRACK ME UP! And those Brits - why would anyone want to eat dick? And dick in a can at that...

  • mrsben

    Me too......laughing at your post and 'dean's' comment.

    FYI even though I am a woman of knowledge and wisdom (wink, wink)
    I didn't know about the magnet thing until my daughter (who is a Cop by the way and really, really, really hates giving out tickets...wink, wink) told me.

    HAVE A GREAT SUNDAY! Hugs, hugs

  • ~Mary

    Luis and I are laughing our butts off at your post!
    He says he feels your pain about the ticket...he got one a few months back that was almost £400!!

    I'm gonna find Spotted Dick and see what it tastes like! just for you! HAhaha!!!!

  • Paris

    OMG! hahahaha...I am dying laughing here...tears rolling down my face! hahaha. Love LOVE this post, girl! :)


  • santamaker

    Justine, another charming post! Gosh, never disappoint!

    ( count me in on the dummies that try to put a magnet on a stainless steel fridge )

  • Shelia

    Justiney! There you are! Honey, you're a hoot and a half! Now I'm going to ask my Darling Daughter if she's ever tried the Spotted Dick since she lived in England for two years. Now, that just doesn't sound right does it?
    Be a sweetie your silly girl!
    Shelia ;)

  • Anonymous

    Hey girl, it's me...and I did answer your e-mails. When I read your last one I was thinking you didn't get my replies. But anyway, I see you still are your charming self. :) I love it when your mind wanders. LOL... Today is my SIL and MIL birthday and we're going to brunch this morning to meet them and some of their friends that lived on their block when they were in grade school.Isn't that neat. Then tonight we're going to Outback for their birthday, his Mom is 89 today.I pray I can live that long. :) Good to vist you again, I'll be back soon.

    Love Ya,

  • Lori

    OMG! another funny post! We use to call my cousing Dick. Never understood why they did that to him. I thought it was crazy. I didn't know his name was Patrick until I was older. Go figure!

    I am a fan of your blog! Come over to my site and get a fan award:)

    Hope you had a great weekend!

  • jill jill bo bill

    My father in law was Dick, my husband, Rick and his son, Rich. Trust me, I have called all of them dicks before.

  • SchmeckyGirl

    You really do have random thoughts.

    That spotted dick thing is just something I would not try based on the name.

  • kyooty

    That toilet Seat would be great for the middle of the night aiming issues.
    The Dickie Burton sounds way too close in my head to Dickie Bird! LOL

  • Swirl Girl

    Laughing my ass off at number one, she says while batting her luxurious eyelashes!!!