Holy Bat, Blogwoman!

No, not that bat, sillies!

Do you remember reading my post last month called 40 Italians and a Funeral? If you did not by chance read it, I suggest you do. It was quite an entertaining post if I do say so myself. And I do. Say so myself, I mean. Saysomyself. Saysomyself. Saysomyself. Say that shit a few times out loud. It sounds kinda funny!

So anyway, at some point when the whole fam damily was sitting around BS'ing and eating ourselves silly, my brother told us about a little bat that he kept finding sleeping on his patio table umbrella.

So of course Jill and I had to run over and see if he was there, along with all the kids that heard my brother talking. And wouldn’t you know, there he was, sitting on the umbrella like it was his own personal hammock. Now, a bunch of people happened to be sitting under that umbrella at the time, and one in particular (I won’t name names), Trish, flew out of her chair, crossing herself and yelling, “Evil! Vampire! UNDEAD!!!!!”, and ran right through the backyard and into the fence. The scent of the blood dripping from her nose had the bat taking flight, flying straight for her face...

No… just kidding! She did fly out of her chair to get away from the little creature, but the rest was purely fiction. I think. Maybe.

But look at how cute the little booger is! He was so tiny too! All that soft brown fur, and that adorable little face. Awwww, can you love a bat? Well sure you can!


But I know what you're thinking. That picture is crappy and way too far away! So, we did get much closer, but remember, it was a funeral so no one had their cameras at the ready, just their cell phones. Well come on, a camera at a funeral would just be tacky, and if there's one thing this family is not, it's tacky. LIE! Now look at all that fuzzy brown sweetness.




But then one of the older kids decided he wanted to pick it up, so Jeff (my bro) got him a pair of thick gardening gloves. Oh, the poor thing was so scared he was making this little chirping noise over and over. I felt so bad for him, but the kids were just fascinated, especially my Madison who loves all animals.

I had lofty thoughts in my head of having a little furry bat to call my own, one I would build a special bat house for and hand feed him mosquitoes every night. Until I saw his TEETH.




Oh yeah, they’re little, but they’re razor frickin’ sharp. Maybe having a bat of my very own isn’t such a good idea after all, eh?