Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Holy Bat, Blogwoman!

No, not that bat, sillies!

Do you remember reading my post last month called 40 Italians and a Funeral? If you did not by chance read it, I suggest you do. It was quite an entertaining post if I do say so myself. And I do. Say so myself, I mean. Saysomyself. Saysomyself. Saysomyself. Say that shit a few times out loud. It sounds kinda funny!

So anyway, at some point when the whole fam damily was sitting around BS'ing and eating ourselves silly, my brother told us about a little bat that he kept finding sleeping on his patio table umbrella.

So of course Jill and I had to run over and see if he was there, along with all the kids that heard my brother talking. And wouldn’t you know, there he was, sitting on the umbrella like it was his own personal hammock. Now, a bunch of people happened to be sitting under that umbrella at the time, and one in particular (I won’t name names), Trish, flew out of her chair, crossing herself and yelling, “Evil! Vampire! UNDEAD!!!!!”, and ran right through the backyard and into the fence. The scent of the blood dripping from her nose had the bat taking flight, flying straight for her face...

No… just kidding! She did fly out of her chair to get away from the little creature, but the rest was purely fiction. I think. Maybe.

But look at how cute the little booger is! He was so tiny too! All that soft brown fur, and that adorable little face. Awwww, can you love a bat? Well sure you can!

But I know what you're thinking. That picture is crappy and way too far away! So, we did get much closer, but remember, it was a funeral so no one had their cameras at the ready, just their cell phones. Well come on, a camera at a funeral would just be tacky, and if there's one thing this family is not, it's tacky. LIE! Now look at all that fuzzy brown sweetness.

But then one of the older kids decided he wanted to pick it up, so Jeff (my bro) got him a pair of thick gardening gloves. Oh, the poor thing was so scared he was making this little chirping noise over and over. I felt so bad for him, but the kids were just fascinated, especially my Madison who loves all animals.

I had lofty thoughts in my head of having a little furry bat to call my own, one I would build a special bat house for and hand feed him mosquitoes every night. Until I saw his TEETH.

Oh yeah, they’re little, but they’re razor frickin’ sharp. Maybe having a bat of my very own isn’t such a good idea after all, eh?

25 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • nikkicrumpet

    *SNORT* *GUFFAW* you're cracking me up..you're such a goof! And no having a pet bat is probably not one of your better ideas!

  • ~♥~ Monica S


    He was cute!! :-) I have seen those too... strangly enough we have those as well... on summer evening you can hear them over in the forest.. sometimes even see them flying between the trees! :-) FASCINATING!


  • Tootsie

    okay...you have a lot of nerve complaining that MY blog is hard to read.....yours is darn near impossible...and the font is so small....lol
    I do have a hard time reading it though...but that doesn't stop me.
    I changed mine...tell me if it is better?
    oh and yes I did read the rodent post...but will not comment...as the photos made me shiver...they are just mice with wings you know! and we all know how I feel about mice!

  • jill jill bo bill

    OMG that was hilarious about your SIL and so damn freaky at the end. You are so diverse. I love you and am so glad I have found your crazy ass. We had bats living in our chimney at our old house. They were kinda cool. Way far away they were kinda cool. But since they ate their weight in mosquitoes every night, I had to like them.

  • Rachelle

    In the first picture I thought it looked like a tarantula! Do you seriously think bats are cute? They give me the heebie geebies! I would have been like your friend and getting the heck away from it! Great story though!

  • Sue

    OMG!! I woulda ran straight for the fence and even jumped over it!! This is so creepy, even tho I do realize bats eat mosquitos, I don't ever want to see one close-up!! YUK!!!

  • Gollum

    This is damn good, woman. I haven't smiled all day until now.

  • Ma'dame French

    YOur crazy!!! We have them in our neighborhood during the summers and I have gotten used to them but I still don't like them;)French;)

  • Stephanie

    Cute? CUTE?


  • Michelle

    I found your blog because of it's name. My blog is thefroggybottomblog..so I thought I would come see. Nice Blog. I like your layout.
    I think I would have freaked out if I had seen that bat at my house!
    It does almost look like a spider. I like how you grabbed the camera to get a snap of it!

  • niartist

    Um, hells to the no!

  • Jill

    I wuv bats!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was so cute! I never realized how small they really are. When they spread those wings they look huge.

  • Terrie's Lil' Piece of Serenity

    Justine, We have bats that get into some of the older houses around here. They really freak me out. But, they are good for our enviroment. Cute??? I don't think I would go that far!!!

  • Life on Bonnie Lane

    Oh yikes!!! No bat love here...no no no! Can't believe the kids touched it! Ewww, even though they wore gloves!

    Those things freak me out. They look like furry condors when they are in my house!


  • squawmama

    He is adorable... I can see why you might want him for a pet... Now on to the cameras... Icky??? I beg to differ... LOL LOL We take them to our Italian side of the family funerals because it's like a reunion... of course it's not at the funeral it's at the after party in remembrance of our beloved family member.... Loved your post... made me laugh out load... Have a great night

    Love Ya,

  • Shelia

    Hi Justiney! Bats are strange and you can get rabies from them! You better watch out, girlie!
    BE a sweetie,

  • Happy To Be

    Justine this was too funny and I could just see you with a bat..oh those teeth they give me the creeps..great story tho...hugs and smiles Gloria

  • Picket

    Oh my word girl....did you not ever see Dark Shadows!!! Oh sorry that may have been before your time...but bats!!!! Oh girl once a bat got into the loft of a church we use to go to years ago and one Sunday morning the preacher was just getting fired up and that thing swooped down on the congregation and there was some shouting going on and it had nothing to do with the Lord! lol lol

  • Anonymous

    Ok, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I think you're the first and only one that I know, that wanted a bat for a pet. LOL

    Love Ya,

  • Buffie

    They carry rabies for Pete's sake!!!! AHHHH! Not cute, not cute!!! lol!!


  • Anonymous

    Did you know bats are protected over here? If you happen to have them in your belfry you have to get the 'bat-men' in to remove them if they really HAVE to be moved or if they aren't doing any damage you have to keep them there.

    Have you felt their wings? They feel just like rats tails - all smooth and silky. I LOVE rats too.

    When I'm old and eccentric I'm going to have bats, rats and lots of dogs in my smelly house!

  • Rhea

    Scary teeth on that cute little bugger. Yikes.

  • Shelia

    Hi Justiney! Oh, the Diva of Christmas! I love it - please just throw a few jewels at my tiny little feet! lol
    Be a sweetie,
    shelia ;)

  • SchmeckyGirl

    Stay away from bats! Just the fact that one brushed past Raven meant she had to get a series of rabies shots. For weeks! While at my house! I had to take her to the hospital each time. Actually she thinks it brushed her hand and then she had two little bite-looky marks on her hand. They don't take chances with bats. Rabies is always fatal. STAY AWAY FROM BATS!

    But very funny story. The saysomyself and the Trish story cracked me up.

    I hate your flashy site. I'm going to go blind!!!!! lol.

  • imjacobsmom

    Ewww! You have to be careful with bats. They have rabies, you know. We actually had a guy die from a bat bite not too long ago about 50 miles from here. ~ Robyn