Tuesday, December 16, 2008

And Then There Was THE TREE

Whew! What a busy weekend I had! First, Friday afternoon I had to drive Madison and Mikayla up to Jimmy’s office for their annual Christmas party, where they have bouncy castles, face painting, cookies, and God knows what else. Mikayla was supposed to go, but being 11years old decided that Daddy’s party is just too boring and refused to get out of the car when we got there. Ooh, the arguing we did! But the little booger won, so she and I went to Walmart to buy some more Christmas lights and some stuff Jill wanted so she could make ornaments with the girls during the weekend.

Jill, Alexa, and Gianna came over late Friday afternoon, and from then on it was go go goooooooooooo! After all this was Christmas tree night! Our tradition each year is to wait until dark, then go out searching for the perfect tree. Nourishment comes in the form of pizza, beer for Jimmy, bottled root beer for Mikayla, and eggnog for Madison. And this year, Jill got to indulge in some Fat Bastard. No sillies, not the big Scottish guy from Austin Powers! The wine! The wine! Geez, you guys are so uncultured. It’s even real wine, not the crap that comes with a screw cap. Winnie the Poodle (or as Gianna calls her, "Winnie My Puddle") wanted some holiday cheer too, but I don't think this is what she had in mind.

Gianna had been eating the candy cane in the back seat, when she decided she didn't want it anymore and threw it. The kids were looking all over for it back there but couldn't find it. Then suddenly Winnie jumped onto Jill in the front seat and you hear her scream, "I found the candy cane! It's on Winnie's ass!"

Jill and I were to meet Jimmy at the tree lot with the girls and to my shock and chagrin, he and Madison had already picked what they deemed the perfect tree. I was even told, “You can look around, but this is it. This is the tree we’re taking home.” Well you know me, I love a challenge, especially from my cranky hubby, so off I went to find a more perfect tree. And find a tree I did. And even though it was a foot taller than Jimmy’s choice, and $20 more, guess which one was on the top of my truck a few minutes later? HA! For once I won something!

Unfortunately my tree high did not stick around for long. Because when we got home and Jimmy brought our special stand in from the garage, he instantly found that one of the legs was bent beyond repair. Oops, I do think I remember running that over in the garage a couple weeks ago. But when I looked at it, it looked just fine! I didn’t realize I’d killed it! Oopsie? Jimmy did all he could to save it, banging on it with a sledgehammer, cursing and mumbling under his breath about “not looking where you’re going when you pull into the garage… so irresponsible… this is an expensive stand…” Blah blah BLAH! So I had a hissy fit and locked myself in my room like the mature adult I am.

While I was watching TV pouting Jill and Jimmy rode back up to the tree lot and somehow convinced them to swap out for a new stand. Never mind that ours was a year old and I ran it over! Have I ever told you that Jill has the power of suggestion worked out to an art? It’s friggin’ magical.

So now we’ve got the 8-1/2 foot tree up in the stand and it’s ready for lights. Time to argue again, because no one wants to do them! Jill steps up to the plate with Mikayla and begins stringing them. Well, Jimmy didn’t like the way they were doing them and then he and Mikayla got in an argument and she stormed off to her room and slammed the door. So who wound up fixing the lights? Yes, moi. But hey, this tree is tall and my shoulders started hurting when I got near the top. I asked Jimmy if he could just finish the last foot or two, but would you believe the penis told me no, I should just get a chair? Egads, the crap I put up with!

I won’t even go into the whole dilemma of us not being able to get the new sets of LED lights to stay on multi instead of blue. Let me just say that Jimmy figured out that if you unplug them, turn the plug over the other way and plug it back in, they work correctly. “Polarity is everything ya know.” Gag!

So at this point, Alexa and Madison came out of hiding downstairs and the real jolliness began, because it was ornament time! The kids had a total blast decorating, and even Gianna got in on the action. By this point there is Christmas stuff from one end of my house to the other.

No, Madison has not suddenly grown a blue beard. That's the beach scene she had painted on her face earlier in the day.

Yes, Jimmy is wearing pajama bottoms. Sexy, eh?

And of course I could not let this post go without putting up embarrassing video of Jill. But the joke is on me, because OMG, I sound like the biggest dork ever. Please tell me I do NOT usually laugh like that. I sound like Woody Woodpecker!
Jill insists that I do indeed laugh like this, but it's a lie dammit. I'd been listening to myself laugh at Jill all weekend and I'm more of a dainty tee-hee-hee kind of laugher. Really. I'm being honest. Sort of. And look, you can see the whole dang mess too!

And just a super quick one to highlight the obsurdity of this ornament.

To make this long story a wee bit shorter, I’ll just say that we finished the tree some time around 1 a.m. and everyone went to bed semi happy. But would you believe that just yesterday I realized no one had plugged in the star? (Hello! Beacon to Jesus, people!) And that Jimmy still hasn’t turned the tree so that the “good” side is facing forward? And that my garland outside is still hanging all piggledy- wiggledy? And that I still have not wrapped even one of the over 80 gifts I have piled up all over the place? And that I have not baked even one damn cookie or cake yet? Help! I’ve been buried in Christmas and can’t get up!

My mostest favoritest ornament... my Lenox moose!

Mmm... coffee!

The girls made these horses last year with their mom-mom, out of corks.

I made a bunch of these gingerbread dudes quite a few years ago.

This one was made by my friend Janet, from my pregnancy 1997 email loop.

I also made dozens of these spoons and it took me at least a week!

Here's a non-flash shot to pick up the colors better.

And finally, THE TREE. If it looks slighted crooked and the star looks slightly lopsided, that's because they are.

32 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • niartist

    OH, even through all of the arguing the tree turned out beautifully! You did a great job stringing those lights without help, and the whole family hung those ornaments so nicely! Nice Job tiney - now go get wrapping!

  • squawmama

    Wow typical family get together... FUN, FUN, FUN... I loved the video and just makes me want for all of us to get together more... We'll have a BLAST!!! The kids were adorable and what was with the dog and the candy cane... did I miss something??? Love ya... Have a Jolly day...


    ps did you see that I tagged you???

  • Terrie's Lil' Piece of Serenity

    Justine, You are one lucky lady. You can enjoy picking out the tree. hauling it home, decorating it with your loved ones. Laughing and arguing , you've created so precious memories. I can feel the love in the viedo.
    Hugs, Terrie

  • Nikki via The Scarlett Rose Garden

    Hey WOODY! LOL! Oh you are so hysterical. Well, the tree is gorgeous after all that.. even with a star of David on it, ha!

    I can't even beleive Jill was able to swap your tree stand!

    Your little snow princess Madison was so pretty that night... all of the kids are princesses; little poopy pants included!

    I'm SO jealous of your outdoor lights. Poo.

    Merry Christmas sweetie if I don't get time to pop in again before it hits!!!

  • mrsben

    Ahhhhh this is the beauty of Christmas....even the bickering :)
    It is 'all about children' and they looked like they were having a great time.

    I must confess Justine, my kids have always had their own tree and Mom here ended up having do the large one....no help offered. This year, I opted for a L/Rm table-top tree perched on a pedestal plant stand. I declared this year was mine to be in an 'auto-pilot mode', letting everyone else do the work....grin.)


  • Naz

    Whenever you and Jill get together it's always a fun time had by all, us included.

  • Happy To Be

    Only you Justine can made doing a tree so funny...loved the video and I have to agree with Jill you do sound like Woody..love the kids having so much fun and of course Jimmy sitting and watching it all !! hugs and smiles Gloria

  • Anonymous

    Well, first I love Fat Bastard, the red and white, second when you start a project with hubby drink one bottle by yourself , then you won't give a rip. Next, your tree is really beautiful and huge. It's so nice that Jill and the girls can come up and help you. It looked like so much fun. Let us know when we are going to meet, donna said she would drive Miss Daisy, LOL so let us know.It's going to be fun.

    Love Ya,

  • Anna Lefler

    Awesome tree - totally worth it!

    Merry Christmas!

    :^) Anna

  • Mama

    haha, This was excellent, I miss having the kids around to shout at ops I mean help me decorate the tree!, you all looked like you were having such a laugh and you do laugh like woody but it's hilarious and your tree looks beautiful, now get wrapping those presents!! hehe.

  • Ma'dame French

    Candy cane on the ass too funny!!! despite all the crap that goes on like every normal family the tree turned out beautiful!!!! Hugs Frenchxoxox

  • Stephanie

    Your tree is lovely...I know I haven't actually seen the one Jimmy picked out, but I know it totally sucked ass. Especially compared to yours. Perhaps next year you can run over *him* in the garage and then go with your sister to trade him in for a new and improved model? Just saying...

    Oh, and for the record, I think the Woody Wood Pecker/Bart Simpson laugh is hot.

  • Shelia

    Hi Justiney!! I'm so glad you and Jill love each other!! lol Your tree looks great, even if your star is crooked! lol No! I haven't gotten anything yet! I'll certainly let you know. You shouldn't have sent me anything, but I truly appreciate it! You're the bestest!
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  • Michelle

    Such great memories you are making with your family. Your tree turned out beautiful. I enjoy going and picking out a live tree. We haven't done that in awhile.

  • nikkicrumpet

    You guys never do things the easy way...but they always turn out fun..and funny to read! The tree looks really pretty...even if it's a wee bit crooked. Who cares..it's one more thing done...now only 2 million to go!

  • ~♥~ Monica S

    I really enjoyed the little video! :-) Put a smile on my face! thank you!


  • Raxx - A day in the life

    Tiney your videos are hilarious! I've forgotten how beautiful real trees are! Yours is fantastic, your laugh still has me in stitches, btw, this is my second comment, dont know where the first one went.

    Your house is really nice, the layout and architecture is beautiful I think, how is it you have a fireplace in Miami?

  • Jill

    OMG! I laughed from start to finish. You sound like such a dork and I look like one!! The fights, the laughter... oh and the TEARS of the 11 year old. All in All IT WAS A GREAT WEEKEND..

  • Bridget

    Now why do you complain about your rental house? It looks really nice to me!
    I like Stephanie's idea about running Jimmy over and taking him back to exchange him. ROFLMAO

  • jill jill bo bill

    I could listen to you laugh all day long!!! I love it. It's contagious. We MUST hook up. The sisters unite. I can see it now...

  • Ann

    Isn't it sweet to have your family help out in putting up your tree? And nothing beats a tree with memories hanging on it like your ornaments...that is such a lovely tree.

  • Shelia

    Morning, Justiney! I meant to tell you last night, you should show more of your home - it's lovely! Thanks for the visit and I'm glad you like my new floor - it's granite and not marble. I know nothing!!

    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  • Anonymous

    You tree looks wonderful girl!!!!!! Tha's what Christmas is all about!!!! Arguing/Fun/Arguing/Fun! (LOL)

    Donna Marie

  • Anonymous

    You do kinda sound like woody wood pecker. I could totally make a pecker joke, but I won't.

    I LOVE your New York? accent! Can you make some video of you cursing up a storm with that accent of yours?

  • SchmeckyGirl

    How come I can't see a video? Did you remove it? Maybe because I upped the security due to the Explorer issue? Hmph. I'll check back later.

    You have some great pics here. You need to create a yearly xmas album for all these memories.

    You sound like you had a blast and a horrible time at the same time. LOL!

    The ornaments are really cool. Especially the horse/cork ones. Great post.

  • Rhea

    The tree looks great! I love the Jewish Star, that's hilarious. And wonderful.

    You gals looked like you had a LOT of fun.

    And I like Jimmy's pj pants.

  • Trying to Stay Calm!

    Stopping by to say have a blessed and very Merry Christmas! ♥ Hugs :) Shauna

  • NurseChessie

    Just for the record, you TOTALLY laugh like that. I could hear it in my head before I even played the video. lol. I'm still laughing.
    love ya!

  • Elizabeth

    I think the big tradition that most families have in common at Christmas is the little fights and slamming doors!

    I love your gingerbread and Santa spoons!

  • SchmeckyGirl

    LOL at the Jewish Start! That is hysterical!

    Yeah that laugh! LOL!!! You sound so Long Island!! I love it!

  • Tootsie

    OKAY....YOU BETTER NEVER MAKE FUN OF MY VOICE AGAIN!!!! lol...you sounded like a cartoon!!!!
    I am so glad you posted a video of you guys...I wish you were in it too in more than just your woody woodpecker impression! lol
    your tree looks fantastic...
    when I said you were you...in my blog post today....I meant...you entertain me, make me mad, make me smile, make me cry.....make me shake my head! lol you are one in a million and I love it!

  • Life on Bonnie Lane

    I laughed so hard at that pic of the candy cane on the dog's ass. Did anyone still want it after that? Hehe!

    Looks like you found the perfect tree! And looks like you had a great evening, despite the little bumps in the road. The relationship that you have with Jill makes me want a sister!