Get Comfy People, 'Cause The Sisters Take On St. Augustine!

You think my weekend adventures ended with putting up the Christmas tree Friday night? Oh no, Jill was staying the entire weekend and we had things to do, people to see, parties to attend, and cities to terrorize.

Early Saturday, Jill and I drove Alexa and Madison to a drop-off point... the girls were going to see The Nutcracker with Madison's brownie troop! How fun is that? Anyway, as we're driving, Jill starts talking to Mikayla:
Jill: Hey Mikayla, isn't this where your dad brought you to take pictures?
Mikayla: Silence
Jill: Mikayla! I asked you a question!
Me: Uh Jill? Mikayla is NOT in the car with us!
Yep, we started our day off on the right foot, as usual.

When the girls returned from their adventure, it was time to attend our community's annual Christmas party up at the amenities center. Santa was there, and looking mighty fake and dapper, and they even had teenagers doing face painting. Mikayla got a wreath (don't even ask me why she's wearing red lipstick... ask her aunt!) and Madison got the coolest panda!







Jill and the girls took a quick and crazy ride on a "train" around the parking lot, and Alexa and Madison had a great time playing in the huge bouncy house/slide thingamajig. Then it was time for the real trolley ride around the neighborhood to look at everyone's lights. Well, that's what we thought the ride was about. It turns out it was more like a taxi to drop off and pick people up at various stops throughout the neighborhood. The funniest thing is that the driver was going so fast (definitely over the 25 mph speed limit) that we couldn't even enjoy the lights, because they were flying by so quickly. It was like watching a light show on hallucinogens. Kinda like this.




And did I mention it was cold? Well, not freeze -your- nipples- off cold, but it was only 50 degrees and in Florida, 50 feels like 30 because of the humidity. Add in moving at the speed of light on an open trolley and you've got the makings for icicles up your nose. I think I may have lost one of my nipples on that ride but it grew back the next day.

As soon as we got home from that event, it was time for me to get ready for a Christmas party at our friends, John and Tracey's house. You may remember them from this post, although I had to remove the very best picture from it. Jill got to stay home with all the girls and do crafts. Heeheehee! Anyway, we got there near 8:30 and their house was packed to the gills with happy, jolly, festiveness. Nearly everyone brought a dish or alcohol, so needless to say, neither were in short supply. Although I do not partake of spirits, I can honestly say every food I tried was wonderful. Oh wait, I lied. I did try an itty bitty bit of homemade sangria. Yum!

I'd guesstimate that there were at least 40 people there, if not more, and I had a fabulous time with neighbor friends, and meeting new neighbors I've never clapped eyes on. We seem to have a lot of recluses (myself certainly included) around here. You see their dogs, but not the dogs' humans.





You may have noticed a set of burgeoning boobies in that collage, and I'll just have you know that I did not take that picture! For once I am totally innocent of wrong- and lude- doing! I went out in the screenroom to visit, and this strange chick was playing with my camera! When I asked her about it she handed it over with a giggle. I turned it on, and there were here BOOBS! She then introduced herself as Jami, and we became fast friends. Hell, anyone with the guts to photograph their own hooters is primo in my book. I did tell her to delete it or it might just accidentally purposely wind up on my blog. She said, "Go ahead! It won't bother me!" Ya think I should have gotten that in writing?

Alcohol was flowing, inhibitions were down, and some of the excessively drunk braver party-goers decided it was time to dance. Here's a short video clip of Grisel, Michelle, and a new guy I met, Steve. Unfortunately, the picture and sound quality sucks. You can't even hear the music, which was Styx singing Mr. Roboto. Oh yeah, takes ya back, doesn't it? Larry is in the background, just waiting around for John to get the i-pod up and running so he could do his Cher routine. Luckily, I left before this came to fruition. Scary!



Fast forward to Sunday. You didn't think I'd let you off this easy, did ya? Jill and I decided that we needed some retail therapy, so we planned a trip to the flea market, the outlet mall, and then downtown St. Augustine for some historic Christmas atmosphere.

I decided this day required really tacky and bright eye makeup to get me in a festive mood.



We left Alexa and Madison home with Jimmy (evil laugh), and loaded Gianna and Mikayla in the car with us. I don't drive out of my comfort zone, so Jill was behind the wheel of my very spiffy SUV. Problem is, she's used to the gear shift in her van, which is located near the steering wheel. My shift is in between the front seats. So every time she switched gears, she turned on the windshield wipers and the washers! We laughed on and off the entire day because of this. I mean, she literally did this at least 20-25 times throughout our 7 hours of shopping.

Our first mishap was while driving down i-95 at 70 MPH. Remember those cute antlers I had on my truck? Well, Jill, for reasons unknown to me, opened Poopy Pants' window and one of my antlers went flying off the car, never to be found again! But would you believe Jill actually offered to "turn around" and go find it? "Uh, hello! We're on a highway ya doofus! How are you going to turn around??? And don't ya think Rudolf's ear has been squashed by now?" So for the rest of the day we drove around with an SUV that resembled Vincent Van Gogh. Pisser.

Okay, it was the most shit-filled flea market I've ever seen, so we didn't stay too long.


The outlet mall was nice, but the only thing I bought was a tube of body lotion from Bath and Body Works. Mmmm... Vanilla Bean Noel. OMG, it smells sooooooo good!
Here's Jill and Mikayla swinging Gianna through the parking lot.



Now we've arrived in downtown St. Augustine, after going round and round in circles trying to find some free parking. Hey, here's a free place! But oops, if you park here you get yourself towed, 'cause it's only for city employees. But, they did have a great pile of just-cut bamboo and Madison loves anything panda related. So what does Jill do? She jumps out of the car, finds a huge piece of it and shoves it in my car. Great, now I've got bamboo leaves sitting on my head.





Did you know that St. Augustine is our country's very oldest city? And that it is known to be one of the most haunted? This next picture is St. George St. Most of these buildings are original and the country's oldest one-room wood schoolhouse still stands there. The Christmas shop, that just recently closed down was used as a mortuary way back in the day, and the picture window in the front was used to display the bodies so passersby could pay their respects.



This guy looks he might be original to St. George St. too, don't ya think?





Gianna thought this would be a nice time to lay down on the sidewalk and take a little rest. Usually this is accompanied by screams of "Hewp me! Hewp me!"



We had a yummy lunch at a little outdoor cafe.





Here's Jill on the phone with Mark, discussing the menu items. Hey, no husbands allowed today! Do you see the bitch face she is pulling on me?



We even walked up to the very old Spanish fort.






Here we are, sitting on a huge canon.



Okay, so I was going to try and do a sexy laying down pose, but have you ever tried balancing on a canon? I would have rolled right off!



It had been a long day, but we really wanted to stay until it got dark enough for the Christmas lights to come on. We walked down the main street near the water to see all the horses and carriages lined up waiting for fares to tour the city.



Ah, horsey love. And yes, I do realize I look stoned!



Remember I mentioned this being a very haunted city? Well, look at the mist in this picture.
Drop dead, Becky! LOL



But not in this one...



It was a very long, and very tiring day, and we must have walked at least 7 miles throughout. But I tell ya what. I was one happy camper, hanging with the bestest sister in the world and two of my favorite little girls. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend. Don't you agree?