Saturday, January 30, 2010

Sunday Scramble

Yay!  It's time to scramble!  Don't forget to link up your SS posts after you're done reading (and, God willing, commenting).  Let's get this show on the road!

 

  • Yawning.  What is up with it?  Even just typing the word I'm yawning.  I actually Googled this very thing this week and guess what I found out?  Scientists don't quite know why we yawn.  They say it could be the body's response to needing more oxygen, but if that were the case, why is it catching?  When's the last time you saw someone yawn and didn't yawn yourself?  It just doesn't happen!  And for that matter, why do animals yawn?  Okay, I've gotta move on because I'm going to crack my jaw if I yawn one more time.

  • I have this hair that shows up a few times a year, right over my clavicle bone.  Unlike the rest of the man hairs on my body, this one is always very fine and usually blonde.  Well, the little fucker showed up again this week but it wasn't blonde.  Oh no, now it's gone on to turn gray.  I don't understand what makes a single hair grow in this one spot, or why it seems it's not there one day, but the next it's there and 3" long.  And curly.  I actually plucked it out and saved it.  Tried getting pictures of it for you all but it was just too fine to show up on a picture.  I'm sure you're all sighing with relief.
  • Have you ever been poked in the head with an eating utensil?  I can now say that I have.  Last weekend Mikayla asked me if I wanted to try a spoonful of her ice cream, knowing I can't have a bowl myself.  But as soon as I reached for her spoon she pulled it away from me and cradled the bowl under her non-existent bosom.  I grabbed for it anyway and that's when she took the spoon and poked me in the head with it.  This is just one reason I've nick-named her Bitchayla.  But I got her good because I then grabbed her and stuck my whole hand in her ice cream and took out a nice hunk of cookie dough.  Oh yes I did!
  • Speaking of nick names.  Where the hell did they come from?  James to Jim, Robert to Bob, Richard to.... Dick.  Heeheehee... I said dick.  Please someone, tell me how this happened!  I can understand Linda to Lin, or Stephanie to Steph... that's just shortening the name.  But how on earth did we get DICK from Richard?
  • Am I the only one who feels jipped when the hole in my bagel is big?  Sometimes I think I'd be justified in eating an additional half to make up for the enormous gaping hole in the middle.  It's just not fair.  In my opinion there should be a set ratio of delicious, chewy goodness to... hole. I want consistency dammit!  Did you hear that, Lender's? 

    • So, there's this elderly lady in my neighborhood that obviously enjoys long, casual walks at night.  If you're driving around at about 7 p.m. you're sure to see her.  The girls and I call her "Old Lady With Cell Phone and Cigarette" because we have never seen her walking without the cell to her ear and a cig in her other hand.  I think it's lovely that she takes walks to keep her blood circulating, but I wonder if depleting her oxygen intake with the cigarette, and burning brain cells with the cell phone is counter-productive to her cause.  And just who the hell is she talking to anyway?
    • This week my friend Ethel and her friend, Lucy, had a big birthday bash.  For their chihuahuas.  I shit you not.  There were homemade dog cupcakes made with duck, there were goody bags filled with homemade treats, there was even a huge cake for the humans.  
    And I missed it all.  I totally forgot about the damn party!  Do you realize the blog fodder I could have gotten out of that?  Not to mention I could have spent two hours in the company of many many adorable little dogs.

    Ooh, but I do have some puppy pictures that Ethel sent me!

    Here's Cheech doing a handstand as he eats his cupcake.  He's also being schooled in the art of yoga.



    Frasier, the super pug with Margarita, Lucy's dog.


    Even Michelle went to the party and she's allergic to dogs!  Of course she was obligated, as she is the dogs' godmama.  I didn't even know Cheech and Chong were Catholic.

     

    Fred, making sure the puppies eat daintily.
     
     

    The human cake.  I notice there are candles on there.  Must ask Ethel who blew them out, the dogs or the humans.
     

    • The other night, while sitting out here in my bitch cave I suddenly heard someone belting out the last line of the Star Spangled Banner.  I thought to myself, is that Larry?  And if so, why is he singing the Star Spangled Banner?  I don't take him as a sports fan...
    Would you?
     

    It turns out Ethel also heard his backyard debut, but unlike me, who was able to determine whose voice it was, she went running outside thinking there was an injured cat.  I shit you not.
    That's all I've got this week!  I can't wait to see who links up and what you have to say.  I was really overjoyed that so many joined me last week!  Thank you!!!

    Favorite Bloggy Quote of the Week:

    Comes to us from ThatGirl at That Girl Blogs, speaking to the CEO of Apple:

    Dear Steve Jobs,
    Women don’t want to buy anything called iPad.  It reminds us that we get iPeriods and that they iSuck.  It makes us think about messy iUnderwear, iTampons, and yes.  iPads.
    Hold a focus group next time.
    Love,
    ThatGirl






    Pssst! If you love me, you might love my stupid sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

    29 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

    • Jo

      Oh Justine,
      you make me laugh out loud! I had to read this to my hsb, so he didn't think I was nuts - well it probably takes more than reading him this to convince him of that - we laughed so hard I had tears !! He did say of course Chico is Catholic! How did we get Chuck for Charles (he is a Charles that goes by Chuck - you know all the stupid jokes - what's up Chuck yada yada. Pls keep posts up it does bring laugher to us boring newbie empty nesters (esp now we don't have kids to laugh at)

    • Denise

      Thanks for the laugh...that Steve Jobs letter had my sister and I cracking up and we needed it!

    • Gucci Mama

      Yes! I was the first to link again! It's really nice being the most loyal (and beautiful) of your readers.

      And so you know, I have had the very same thought about bagels. I think we should start some kind of a "quite screwing me out of my rightful bagel" coalition.

    • Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

      I didn't have my scrambled brain ready for this week, but I'll try next week! ;) *Yawn!* :)

      Sounds like that single persistent hair is now taunting you by turning gray.

      Sorry you got poked in the head with a spoon - but sounds like you got Bitchayla back with the whole hand-in-the-ice-cream bit and scoring some cookie dough. ;)

      I've always wondered how they came up with 'dick' from Richard...I'm guessing a Richard was a dick and it stuck... ;)

      It does seem like a rip off when the whole is ginormous in a bagel!

      The first thing I thought of was who in the world that old lady would be talking to on a cell phone - most old people I know think cell phones are a waste of time and money.

      Too funny your friends threw their dogs a birthday party! Wish you wouldn't have forgotten to go, you definitely would have had some major blog fodder from it...at least your friend was nice enough to share the fun pictures! ;)

      Larry's probably not going to like being compared to an injured cat... *snicker!*

    • Sue

      Just so you know, I may have to go back to sleep because I am yawning so much now.
      If your neighbor sings like an injured cat, he may not want to try out for American Idol.
      And I can't believe you didn't go to the dog party, but then again I can't believe that they had an elaborate dog party!

    • Elizabeth

      Totally love the bloggy quote of the week. They should have gone w/ iTab (let) that would have been much better.
      I yawn all the time; huge ones! And I've experimented with turning my oxygen flow up really high and it doesn't make a difference. Look! I just did it while writing this comment!

    • Resh Rene`

      Yawning is the best way to know who is scoping you in a room full of people. Try it, yawn and whoever yawns is totally looking at you.

      In the movies when people feel like "I feel like someone's watching me" I wanna yell yawn you noob! Then you'll know :P

      The smoke stack granny probably isn't even on the phone. But might be pretending so that her stalker is hesitant to grab her, thinking whoever she is on the phone with will dial the police.

      My mind works in nut job ways...I know this :)

      Now that I have solved those issues...bahahaha

    • dirtylaundry

      I don't think your mclinky thing is working right....It won't show mine.

    • angie

      I didn't know real people had real parties for dogs. Do you have to omit the sugar for the dogs? Hilarious.

      Now, just to be clear for next week. I just post misc. events/thoughts from the week for the scramble?

    • Amy

      Yawning is certainly catchy, and if someone else yawns.. so do I.. weird. Mmm.. never given much thought to the whole donut thing. Cute dogs, love that they had a party.. funny. Hhmmm... I've never had "human cake" before! That quote of the week is freaking hilarious!!!

    • Cole

      Well, I haven't had a birthday party for my dogs... but I do make them pup-cakes to celebrate. Does that only make me sorta crazy?!?!

      Does Larry read your blog? If he does, I'm guessing he's not going to like that he's being compared to an injured cat. Is his singing really that bad?

    • Anonymous

      The Cell Phone/Cigarette Lady

      First scenario is this older woman is taking long walks in the evening while smoking and talking is she is getting in touch with her "secret lover". Telling her male companion that she is on the way to ravish him in ways that would make him scream. You know how you the cigarette symbolizes great sex after the act. She is having her pre-ravishing cigarette in anticipation of an evening of hot, butt-naked sex.

      The second scenario is she is taking walks to get a break from her annoying family (the fam). She is walking because if she drives she might run her vehicle into a brick wall or into a lake. The lady is talking on the phone to someone who will actually listen to her and comprehend her concerns. Can't get that at home from "the fam". She is smoking to keep her sanity. If "the fam" does not kill her the cigarettes eventually will.

    • NurseChessie

      LOL@ Ipads... really, why the HELL was he singing that?? and my thoughts on the smoking lady? I think you HAVE to give her a better name. and the thought of walking, talking, and smoking takes my breath away!
      love ya
      chessie

    • wendy

      Oh man, I was yawning even while reading that first part -- about yawns.
      and I TOO get this one little whisker that keeps coming back on my chin--it's like freaking wire, my witches hair I call it.
      Donuts --we need to be thankful for the hole --it keeps just that many more calories away from entering our bodies. (like we care)
      and excuse me---DON'T CHICO AND MOJO "SOUND" Catholic to you??
      I thought anyone named Chico would be Catholic (tee,hee)

    • Lavender Chick

      OMG! I had a foreign body hair with a curl just the other day. It was on my neck and dark. The pitiful thing about it is that I noticed it on Monday after spending a whole weekend with my girlfriends! I can't believe no one noticed it! I know they didn't see it (don't ask me how they didn't because I could have braided the darn thing) because they are not the kind of girls that would have let that one get past them. I guess I grow these bionic man hairs over night; maybe it wasn't even there over the weekend. Glad to know I'm not the only one with man hairs... And NO - I won't be taking any pictures of them!

    • Coachdad

      Maybe the first Richard was a dick... and it just stuck ever since. Just a thought.

    • Missie

      This comment has been removed by the author.

    • Tabby

      Hi Justine :)

      What do they do with all those bagel holes? Why not cell bagel holes like they do for donut holes????

      The doggy party pics where so cute! I also always wondered how they got Dick out of Richard, maybe all kings called Richard where real Dicks so thats how they got the nickname????

    • Shelia

      Hi Justiney!! How are you? Oh, you're such a hoot and I love it!
      When we were in England and had a little lunch in a pub there was a dessert called a 'speckled dick'! We wanted to ask so much for it was but just couldn't bring myself to do it! :)\
      Hate to disappoint you but those are someone elses feet from the internet. My toes are all cozy in socks!! :)
      Be a sweetie,
      Shelia;)

    • Grand Pooba

      Oh my god those are the cutest dogs in the world! A cupcake handstand? I'm melting.

      Hmmm, I think I'm going to try that utensil weapon on Al. Maybe he'd stop eating my chocolate covered cinnamon bears!

    • Together We Save

      Thanks for the laugh!!

    • Jenny

      Hi Justine! I think dogs yawn cuz they are nervous. But I'm not sure. Love your photos...super funny. You're a nut, my dear!

    • Jenny

      Oh no. That "my dear" scared me. I am channeling my Mother. HELP!

    • bj

      You really had me at "hee hee, I said dick!!" You are such a hoot, Tiney.
      And, I can't tell ya how glad I am that all that snow is gone. It's raining here this morning and I am loving that!!
      xo bj

    • Rachelle

      Lol Justine - great Sunday Scramble! That looks like one heck of a party for the dogs - the parties for my kids aren't even that spectacular! And yes - I really think it would be hard to walk, talk on the phone and smoke at the same time. Is that even worth the walk?

    • Yaya

      Oh this totally made me laugh!!!! Thanks for that!

      'Dick'...I know right???

    • Sara's Sweet Surprise

      J~I want to live and play in your neighborhood. Any snowbirds on your block? Maybe Paul and I could house-sit for them,lol.
      Hey did you actually make those bagels (pictured on the cookie sheet) from scratch or were they frozen store bought?
      I hate when the bagel hole is so big your...cream cheese, mayo, lunch meat, pickles, etc falls through all over your lap!!!
      Sweet wishes,
      G

    • Sara's Sweet Surprise

      P.S. You've only just begun to see what (annoying elements) will be sprouting forth on your body. Not to mention the gray pubies.

      G

    • Sara's Sweet Surprise

      P.S.S. My brothers nickname is Chico and he is Catholic, lol!!

      G