Saturday, January 16, 2010

Sunday Scramble II

Here I am doing this for two weeks in a row.  That's some kind of record for me because I don't stick to anything.  Well, except blogging.  Seriously, when I think about it, aside from staying married and still loving my kids to death, I flake out on every other damn thing and always have.

Flakier Than A Croissant

There was the crossword puzzle year when I just couldn't get enough of them.  It's all I did all day.

There was the year or so that I sold colored aquatic snails online.  That got old real fast.  I had four or five tanks going and my hands were always covered in snail slime.  They were cute little boogers though.

Here are a couple of violets mating.

And here is what a female's egg clutch looks like if the mating has been successful.

I won't even tell you what I had to go through to get a viable clutch to hatch.  Oh, the horrors!

There was the year I went on Weight Watchers and lost 52 pounds.  Worked out 5-6 days a week for about 2 hours at a time.  I do believe those pictures fried with our old computer but that's probably a good thing.  Don't wanna depress myself more than my usual, ya know?

*added at the last minute*  Oh, craptastic!!!!  I was on MySpace (hate that site) trying to find my best friend from High School (no luck dammit) and decided to look through pictures I posted on there years ago.  Wouldn't you know I found the picture I was thinking about from my thinner days.  I don't want to put it here because looking at it makes me sad.  I could actually look at the following picture and say, "Wow, I was kinda pretty."  Now?  I don't even see myself in that other Justine, and it hurts.  It also makes me realize just how much I've aged in the past 6 years.  It's kind of scary.  But, you know me... honest to the core.  So, after finding the picture I couldn't not post it.  Crap.  Shit.  Damn.

Excuse me while I go kill myself with a blunt object.

Anyhoo, then there was the year I went through the Fly Lady cleaning stage.  Too bad that one didn't last.

Inappropriate Lust

Yeah, so, I think we all, from time to time, find ourselves unnaturally attracted to a hot actor on the scene, right?  I'm not too proud to say that I have, what would you say?  A I-want-to-lick-him-from-top-to-bottom-then-bottom-to-top crush on Edward Cullen.

So what if his character is only 17 years old?  In actuality, he's like, what?  A thousand years old or so.  That makes it okay, right?

Well, that and the fact that Robert Pattinson is actually 24, which at the very worst only makes me a cougar.  I can live with that.

But last week I came home from Wal*Mart with a Robert Pattinson calendar and Jimmy was all affronted and shit, saying he's just jail bait and he doesn't want him hanging on our fridge where he, Jimmy, would have to stare at him day after day.  Actually tried to demand that I bring the calendar back.  Bite me, Edward Jimmy!

Guess who's hanging on my fridge?  Unfortunately, it's just Robert Pattinson, because when I first clapped eyes on the calendar I just thought, "EDWARD!" and snatched it up.  It ain't Edward, with his pale, frosty good looks and amber eyes.  It's just plain ol' Robert.


Okay, yeah.  That works too.  Yum.

Raise Your Hands

My kids are so damn lucky that Jimmy loves going to concerts.  Or maybe Jimmy is lucky that my kids love going to concerts.  Guess it works either way.  Mikayla listens to a lot of hip-hop, but also loves bands like Van Halen and The Beatles.  Madison is all about rock, has been from infancy.  She'd be in her car seat nice and calm, but the second a System of a Down song came on (and we're talking heavy rock here) she would start bopping her head and swinging her little baby arms all over the place.

Now that she's a much more mature 8 year old (ahem) she is all about Nickelback and Bon Jovi, especially.  Last year Jimmy surprised her with Nickelback tickets, and last week he surprised both girls with tickets to see Bon Jovi in April.  You would have thought he told them that we'd won the lottery and were moving into a mansion on the beach.  For the past week I've heard nothing from Madison but "Jon Bon Jovi this" and "Jon Bon Jovi that", and "Did you know that Bon Jovi...?"  He's on her computer's desktop now.

 Everybody Wants Some

Now that I've mentioned Van Halen, it reminds me of the other night while sitting at the dinner table with the girls.  For some reason, I guess the way Mikayla's hair was messed up, I told her she looked like David Lee Roth.  When David Lee Roth had hair, that is.

Hair, yes, but sadly, no taste.  And nary a bulge.

She mistakenly thought this was a compliment, and took my camera into the bathroom for some diva shots.

Do you see the resemblance?

Eggcellent Surprise

Please tell me I'm not the only one that gets a kick out of cracking open an egg and finding a double yolk, then crying out, "Cool!  Double yolk!"

Coonie Love

I know some of you remember my good friend Rocky the Raccoon from last year, right?  Remember, he used to come out of the woods when I called to him and even came within inches of me and let me take his picture?

I've missed him since we moved to the other side of the street, but either he or one of his coonie friends have decided that they want my food, whether it's in a garbage bag or not, and whether it's inside my lanai or not.  If Jimmy would just fix the damn screen once and for all I wouldn't wake up to this.

Look!  I caught the bastard red-handed!  Okay, I didn't, but Strudel's raccoon toy was out here at the time of the crime and Madison thought it made for a great photo op.

Work It Girl!

It may be horrible, but I find it immensely pleasing to watch my girls do manual labor, especially in the kitchen.  Mikayla actually washes dishes better than Jimmy.  On further thought, that's not saying much, but still, she looks damn cute doing it, doesn't she?

She even did my many coffee mugs.


And while she was busy doing that, Madison was cooking dinner.  That's right... she actually asked me to let her dip, bread and fry the pork chops.  I did the actual frying, but the rest was all her!

Look at the concentration on her face.  That could be because I scared the bejeezus out of her about getting splattered by hot oil.


Cold As Ice

Everyone throughout the country has been having a bit of an arctic blast this past week, and Florida was not exempt from the frigid temperatures.  One morning last week I came out here for a cigarette around 6:30 a.m.  It was 20 degrees.  Twenty.  Degrees.

An hour or so later Jill calls me and says this:

"My windshield is covered in ice! I can't believe this!"

Uh, yeah brainiac, that's what happens when it's frickin' freezing out!  I cannot believe she called just to tell me that.  And believe me, that's all she wanted to tell me.

I'm Officially Twisted

This week, Angie, over at Seven Clown Circus, was giving away 5 of her favorite things.  I hit the jackie when I won this awesome Twisted Silver bracelet.

Woot woot!  Thank you, Angie!

Favorite Bloggy Quote of the Week

Comes from Stephanie at Mama Still Wears Gucci.  I have no clue what the hell she's talking about, but had to love her quote and coordinating picture evidence.

"He's been on the Douche Radar for a long time, but he really went above and beyond the call of Douchebaggery with his remarks to Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh on his "news" program recently."

So, was that scrambled enough for ya?  Any scrambled Sunday thoughts you'd like to share with me?

Btw... it's driving me CRAZY not knowing who it is that frequents my blog from Shoreham, NY.  Please please please tell me who you are!

Pssst! If you love me, you might love my stupid sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

24 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Anonymous

    LOVE the diva shots!!!!

    And forcing your kids to do manual labor, hehe!

    Justine, you ARE beautiful!

  • Jill

    You still look beautiful as u did in that picture!!!!!!!!!!! Your hair looks great in that pic!

    Stop being so hard on yourself. I wish I was as pretty as u!

  • Sophia packed this post full! ;) I love the long hair..beautiful. And Bon Jovi...oh baby...bring by here after the concert! (bats her lashes) And I busted out laughing at the racoon. I TOTALLY remember that. :D

  • Tootsie

    oh man what a lot to think about...
    did ya miss me??? lol
    I know how absent I have been and for that I am sorry...just so stinkin busy
    It does my heart good to see your girl loves the good music!! My kids are rockers like their mom too...we also do enjoy a bit of country...
    as usual...your post is very entertaining my girl...
    I like your hair short...your fb profile photo is look fine just the way you are!

  • Happy To Be/ Gl♥ria

    Good lord Justine I had to take a No-dose to get through this post...long but funny and great...And Bon Jovi YUMMY!! Glad to see you got the kids working...My mama had me in the kitchen really at a young age...hey maybe thats why I hate to cook now ha ha!! Thanks for coming by and even being nice ha ha!!! Love ya girl...Hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

  • Cathy

    You are a hoot.. the mating snails..I had mating mice once but never snails and purple..

    I like your long hair. I have seen this or similiar pic before and like it..

    Edward...awwwwwww.. but lately I'm kinda liking Bradley Cooper too..

    Bon Jovi. I have been to 3-4 of his concerts {when I was young, like 18-19} I have to say..Idon't remember a damn thing. Blame it on the alcohol. We went to AC/DC last Jan and the whole concert thing just didn't feel the same..I prefer young, cute heels, drunk and drunk much better.

    20 is a little cold.. we have had a heat wave of 38-43 around here.. No coat, no gloves, run free..almost naked..just kiddin.

    Have a great week and keep warm.


  • Jenny

    What a nut! I came to visit you from visiting me. I'm sorry to say girl that you have the same affliction as I do....I call it sparkler brain! And it's fun, isn't it? Are you kiddin' about the violet snails? I'm pretty gullible!

  • blueviolet

    Do you really check your stats like that and figure out who's who?

    Just so you know, you may have been thinner in that picture but your face is just as pretty so shut up.

    That snail thing is wackadoo. Your love of twenty year olds is not. I find dudes that age extremely boinkable!

    omg, David Lee Roth didn't even have a penis. Why didn't he take a clue from fellow rocker Axel Rose? lol

  • Amy

    Great post Justine. Girl, you still look the same to me, only with shorter hair. I have NEVER had a double yolk.. have I been missing out on something? Cool bracelet.. score!

  • Brianne

    I laughed out loud at the snails. I think I may have even snorted a time or two!

    I agree with everyone, you ARE beautiful, and I don't even know you!!


    I too am guilty of jumping from one thing to another...


  • raxx a day in the life

    My first thought at the photo was, besides how pretty it is, is, 'it's the same Tiny with more hair' dont be so hard on yourself you are the same pretty Tiney.

    Wow, kids old enough to help in the kitchen, and willing too! now that's a blessing!

    Please send some of that cold air my way, it's hot, I'm sweaty and the mosquitoes are out with a vengeance!

    Belly shots you ask? why not? I'll get right on that! It's not a big deal for me at all!

  • Resh Rene`

    Bahaha the hilarity! This was great for a Sunday Morning read...I am fighting the urged to copy you. but you always are posting some of the GREATEST stuff.
    I have to know how on earth you fell into snail mating?

    Team Jacob all the way <3 Now he really is jailbate, but I will sooo take the chance!

    I LOVE you with shorter hair, then again I'm biased. My hair hasn't seen my shoulders since 98...wonder is they miss each other.

    Thanks for always being a bright spot beautiful lady!

  • HeatherF1

    You were mating snails? Ugh! I go around stomping on them so they don't eat my plants!
    The random comments by Jill by phone? My mom does the same thing. Really mom- I did not need to know that you talked to my aunt in Portland and that it is snowing. I just saw it on the news.

  • { L }

    You are too funny! I laughed my way through this post. :) Loved those pancakes with the hair too, lol...

    And your girl is rocking those diva shots!

    Also, I am so sorry! I just realized I missed the comment where you asked for those peppermint swirl cookie recipe! (waaaay back before Christmas!) :-/ Sorry! My mom actually has the magazine with the recipe but I will get it from her and email it to you. Can you send me a quick email so I have a good email address for you? It is
    Thanks so much and enjoy your weekend!

  • Shelia

    Justiney! What a post, Dear Heart! I want to tell you something and I want you to listen to are still just as pretty today as in that picture. I do like you hair long and you do have beautiful hair and your eyes! Honey, you don't know how pretty you are! You are a beautiful young woman! Did you hear me? Yes, you are!
    Now you watch out with those young guys! :)
    Love seeing your little gals hard at work!! They are growing up so fast!
    Love the Diva shots! I just may have to do something with these! :)
    Love you and know how much I think of you!
    You are a sweetie,
    shelia ;)

  • Stephanie

    Just adding my voice to the chorus here, you are gorgeous inside and out.

  • Grand Pooba

    Me loves the picture, please don't kill yourself are you crazy? Hasn't anyone told you that you are gorgeous? And very photogenic I might add. So there!

    Damn, I need to get myself some kids to do MY dirty work. Seriously, maybe I can just adopt some 12 year olds and put them to work right away.

    That picture of David Lee Roth? Disgusting. Good thing it was just the hair that your daughter has resembling him. *shudder*

    Love ya!

    (Oh yeah, you know I am computer dumb right? I'm trying to get that fricken "Subscribe by Email" thing from feedburner on my sidebar. How the hell did you get yours?)

  • jill jill bo bill

    Holy Baby jesus, girl!! I have missed you so badly!! I was thinking it would take hours to catch up with you, but you took care of that!!! I love you and pray I am back. I WILL kill my family this time if they make me quit. Y'all are so much nicer and less maintainance than them. Plus you don't make cook...

  • Ginger

    Hey there, Tiney...great post. That must of taken a long time with the pictures.
    Are you serious that you sold colored snails? Who was buying them and what for? Weird.
    I don't stick with anything either. Always moving on to something new.
    That's great that you were able to lose 52 lbs. on weight watchers, means you can do it again, if you really wanted to. But whether you do or don't we love you just the way you are.
    As for the Rocky the racoon..don't you have those big trash cans with the lids to keep him out of your stuff? Our trash company provides them for us, holds 90 gallons and the animals can't get into them.
    I think it's great that the girls want to help you in the kitchen. I noticed you have a Keurig in the background, did you get it for Christmas, and do you like it? I love mine.
    Nice bracelet you won. Lucky girl.

  • Missie

    If Mikayla looks like cute doing YOUR dishes imagine how cute she'd look over here washing all of my Fiesta Ware....hmmm (think that will work? ;)

    Ditto on the double yolk thing. I don't even LIKE egg yolks, but I am excited as hell to get a 2fer! :D

    I also loved Rocky once upon a time, but I have now had ENOUGH of his Raccoon Rubbage Raids and I hope he gets tossed into the garbage truck and carted away to the dump a'la Steve McQueen in "The Getaway."

    spleen, spleen, spleen. ;p

  • Michele

    Oh Tiney ~ I think you're beautiful now and back that pic!

    Oh're so lucky to have your girls helping out with stuff in the kitchen. the heck did you get started with snails...lmao!

    And that pic of David Lee Roth...yuck! He was just plain weird!


  • Sue

    Those were so many scrambled thoughts that I don't even know which to comment on! How about the fact that you are beautiful just with shorter hair than you had 5 years ago!?

  • Life on the Edge

    Heh, snails were doing the nasty in your hand. Are you sure it was simply snail slime? ;)

    I love that pic of you. You're still beautiful, ya know.

    It's time the secret came out. Mikayla is the love child of your affair with David Lee Roth. Just admit it. And yes, I would lick Edward Cullen all over too, even though his skin is like ice (would my tongue stick to him like in Christmas Story?), and I would have a little vampire love child with him, but now that I'm menopausal, I guess that's out of the question.

    The double egg yolk looks like a butt. Yes, I am 12.

    Manual labor for children. Imagine the concept! Used to be mandatory for all children. I do the same to mine. My children think that makes me evil. Oh well.

    Have a great day! This was a fun post.


  • Tabby

    I loved this post it had all kinds of tid bits kind of entertainment tonight just in print. I just have the sick fascination with Robert Pattinson too so don't feel like too much of a dirty old! I like your pictures now and then, don't worry I look at pictures when I was younger and want to cry too, I just do not have the energy anymore for starving myself and sweating for an hour or more everyday. I love love love bon Jovi myself I saw them 6 times in my younger days I love how your kids are so cool and little rockers!!!