Jill's Tell-All Thursday Q&A , Told by Justine

Yesterday, Jill put up a post, asking her blogger buds to ask her questions. Questions about anything, and she would answer them. Truthfully. But I came up with what I think is a brilliant idea. Jill will answer the questions posed to her on her blog, and I will answer the very same questions as if I were Jill. It should be fun to see how well I actually know my sister and to see if she can be as brutally honest as me.

Since this is her gig, please go read Jill's Q&A post first. When you come back here, we'll begin!

Chris: Will you have more children?

Justine as Jill: No way. Two is definitely enough, especially with having two very active, high maintenance kids already! Even if it were financially possible, it would be too hard, considering both Alexa and Gianna have ongoing health issues.

Georgie: What is your favorite post, and why?

Justine as Jill: It's got to be "Brachydactyly-Type D"! It was definitely Jill's funniest post and the things that she came up with were brilliant! Of course, it was a "blog wars" kind of thing; anything that induces embarrassment in Justine is always a laugh. Two close seconds were: "If", which chronicles my flatulent tendencies, and "Depends", Jill's telling of a day of shopping with Mom, a broken neighborhood entrance gate, my mother's inability to keep the gate lifted over her head, and Jill and Mom simultaneously peeing their pants. Good stuff.


Chuck: Would you put a lobster down Justine's pants if you had the opportunity?


Justine as Jill: Well, this is an easy one! Of course she would! But, I think she'd use two. One for the front, one for the back. And of course she would get the whole thing on video for you guys to see.

Jill loves lobster. I wonder if she'd eat them if I removed them from my pants and stuck them in boiling water? Well come on, boiling water does kill cooties, no?

Shelia: Have you ever had a secret crush in the time you've been married?

Justine as Jill: Nope. At least, not on anyone attainable. Denzel Washington doesn't count, right?

Becky (who asks WAY too many questions): If you had $5,000 to spend only on yourself, what would you do with it?
If you had $5,000 to spend on anyone but yourself, what would you do with it?
If you had $5,000 that you cannot spend on yourself or anyone you know, what would you do with it?
One place in the world you'd love to visit?
Was there a time in your life when you and Justine didn't get along at all? Not just an argument, but something long-lasting? Why?

Justine as Jill: Let's see, Jill's not big into clothes or anything like that, so I'd say she'd use the money to go on a spectacular vacation. But Jill is also totally into family time and wouldn't want to go alone, so she'd be treating the whole lot of us.

If she were to spend it on others, she would do something fab for my parents, and something extra special for Alexa and Gianna. Tiney would not even cross her mind.

To spend on someone that she doesn't know? I'd say she'd split the money three ways. To cancer research, to CdLS research, and to the Humane Society.

Italy! Definitely Italy. Gotta look up the familia!

There was a time we truly didn't get along, and I'm very curious to see if Jill is brave enough to tell you. I am! When Jill was about 15 years old she was going through a very rebellious stage. Drinking a lot, hanging with the wrong kind of people, dating losers, etc. At this time, I was living in NY, planning my wedding, but most of my belongings stayed down in FL at my parents' house. I don't know how it happened, but her current boyfriend at the time convinced her that he needed money (for what, I'm still not sure), and they decided to steal all of the beautiful jewelry Jimmy had bought me over the years, and pawn it.
When Jimmy and I came down to FL and found out what she had done, I basically wigged out... went totally ape-shit. I called the cops and had her arrested! To this day, I still can't believe I did that. My own sister, who made one big mistake, and I have her arrested. Right in front of my mom. Although I think paying the price really shook her up and helped her to grow, I will still regret that decision for the rest of my life. I will never forget Jill's face as they put cuffs on her. I will never forget my mom's tears. I got my vindication, but at what price? I only hope God (and Jill) have forgiven me.

It was for this reason that Jill was not my maid of honor in my wedding. Another thing I will always regret. If I knew then what kind of person Jill would grow up to be I would have handled that situation in a vastly different way.

We have never shared this story with anyone, and I'm sure Jill is going to be embarrassed and angry that I shared it now. But it's so very far in the past, and it's just another one of those stepping stones of life that molded her into the fine woman she is today.

Well! This took an unexpectedly serious turn! Let's get back to the questions!

Ginger: If you could have dinner with a famous person, who would it be? What would you talk about?

Justine as Jill: Gene Hackman is Jill's all-time favorite actor, so I'd have to say it'd be him. What would they talk about? Hell if I know! His movies, I suppose?

Michelle: What is your biggest regret? When is the last time you cheated? On what? Best vacation? Biggest indulgence? Boxers, or briefs?


Justine as Jill: Biggest regret would have to be not going to cosmetology school for hair styling. She's got the talent and the personality to be a great stylist, but not the hands-on education. Hey, Mr. Mitchell? If you're reading this, you wanna send a full-paid scholarship to Jill for one of your schools?

Ooh, the cheating. Timid sister is going to say something stupid like the time she cheated on a test in high school or something. This girl cheats, and all the time! If kids eat free under the age of 6 in a restaurant, Alexa is suddenly a couple years younger. When she used to take Mikayla to Disney all the time, kids 3 and under got in free. Mikayla would be 6 years old, Jill would put her in a stroller, put a blanket over her so you couldn't tell how tall she was, then she'd stick a binky in her mouth and tell her to pretend to be asleep. Believe it, or not? It's the God's honest truth! CHEATER!

I don't think Jill has been on a real vacation since becoming an adult. Except for a few years ago when her, Mark and Alexa went to Pennsylvania to visit Mark's parents. They did have a good time on that trip.

Jill's biggest indulgence would probably be enormous TVs. She lives in this tiny little house but has gigantic TVs that you would easily be able to see from across the house, let alone across the room. That, and Rodeo Whip ice cream. Man, she loves that stuff.

Jill doesn't like either boxers or briefs. She prefers those old-fashioned union suits. You know, the one-piece undies guys favored early in the 20th century? Uh huh, they totally turn her on, especially if they're pink. Believe it, or not?

Tabitha in Bliss: What is your greatest fear? What is the sweetest gift you've ever been given?

Justine as Jill: Setting aside the fact that as mothers, it's always our greatest fear that something tragic will befall our children, at this point in Jill's life, I believe her biggest fear is losing our parents.

The sweetest gift she's ever been given? It's got to be the beautiful painting of a rose that Bridget sent her for Christmas. I'm so glad the package was sent to my house so I was able to watch Jill's face as she opened her gift. It meant the world to her.

Bridget, our lovely Gigi: What was your happiest moment in life?
Who would you like to look like, and why?
What's your favorite time of the year?
Who has most influenced your life?
If you could go back in time, where would you go, and when?
If a disaster was to take your home, what, besides your children would you grab?


Justine as Jill:
Happiest personal moments have to be the birth of first Alexa, and then Gianna. Happiest not-as-personal moment would probably be watching me give birth to Mikayla. Jill was there for the entire, horrendous labor, listening to me babble incoherently about my hurting hoo hoo and how I "just couldn't do it". She was there to see Mikayla open her eyes for the first time while still mostly inside my body. I think that day is stamped on her heart forever, and the bond she has with Mikayla is unbelievable.

I think Jill would like to look like Catherine Zeta-Jones, but with the body of Queen Latifa. Us Ferrara chicks are not meant to be bony, and Jill likes her men to be of the chocolate variety. Chocolatey men don't tend to like bony asses either!

Favorite time of year is a cinch. CHRISTMASTIME! Jill gets a bit maniacal during the holiday season. If it lights up, blinks, or is animated, Jill is either going to buy and decorate with it, or at the very least, take a picture of it. I swear, during the month of December, she hits the Disney parks at least 4 or 5 times.

I would say that my parents have shaped Jill into the woman she is today, but both Jill and I were very affected by our paternal grandmother, who passed away when I was 17, and Jill was 11. Lots of great family memories surrounding grandma, usually involving food.

Oh man, Jill in the past? This is hard for even me to imagine. No internet? No electronic gadgets? Nothing that lights up and goes blinky blinky?
Okay, Jill would go back to the late 60s and be a pot-smoking, tie-dye wearing, flower-power hippie. Let's put her smack dab in Woodstock, NY for the fun of it. I can just picture her with her arms thrown wide, spinning in a circle, singing Let the Sun Shine.

If there were a disaster, after grabbing the girls, Jill would definitely go back for her fuzzy children. Mark she'd leave in the house.

Ann: Whose is your favorite blog? It can't be Justine's or anyone else you know personally.

Justine as Jill: Ooh, this is a hard one! Jill loves so many of the blogs she visits, and the people who write them. Lately she talks about Chuck a lot. There's just something sweet and innocent about him that gives Jill a good feeling. I guess her favorite would have to be a tie between Donna and Chris. Whether for blog content, or just because she loves the crap out of these two women, I don't know. But I love them too!

Buffie: If you could be a famous movie star, who would you be?

Justine as Jill: Beyonce. The chick can sing, she can dance, she can act, and she's got a magnificent booty!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams: What's your most embarrassing moment? How did you meet Mark? Any regrets in life?


Justine as Jill: Ooh, Jill has had sooooooooo many embarrassing moments! But, if I had to pick one, it would be the day Jill was painting the backboard of their basketball net, standing up on a ladder. Just as she was introducing herself to her new next door neighbor, the can of white paint that had been on top of the ladder came tumbling down on her head. Uh huh, it's definitely one of those Believe it, or not? kind of things. And it's totally true. I won't go on to tell you that she then got shampoo and took a bath in the kiddie pool in the driveway. Oh wait, I just did. Oops.

Jill met Mark while participating in a Wiccan ceremony in the woods, celebrating the winter solstice. Mark was wearing a long white robe and barefoot. Jill was naked, with a lei of white orchids around her neck. When Mark first entered the clearing Jill was doing the Wiccan Dance of the Winter Moon. It was love at first sight, or so Mark says. I think it was the lure of the pendulous boobies.

Okay, this one wasn't quite true. I just don't remember how they met.

For regrets, see above. Heeheehee.

Jill (Kiki): What do you consider your best talent?

Justine as Jill: Jill will tell you it's hair cutting, but nope, that ain't it. Ooh, she's gonna kill me for this but tough crap. Jill can stick pins through her boob and not feel a thing! For some reason, the side of her boob has no feeling for who knows how many skin layers down, and if she's hanging out with me and the 'rents and gets bored, she'll stick pins through her skin, then come out and show us. I actually have a picture of the last time she did this while her and mom were sewing (well, Mom was sewing, Jill was self-inflicting) but if I posted that here I would be dead meat in less time than you can say, self mutilation! Anyway, she just does it to make my mother laugh. Which she does. Every time. SICK FAMILY!

Our cousin, Chessie: What's your most embarrassing drunk moment? Most embarrassing fart moment?

Justine as Jill: Unfortunately, I can't answer either one of these. I don't think I've ever seen Jill truly drunk (remember, we weren't close during her rebellious years). The few times I've seen her tipsy she's just gotten a bit dumberer than usual, and twists her words three times as much. Jill is not the biggest public farter in the world. She can rip out some mean burps though, but burps just aren't as funny as a toot.

Holy crap, I do believe this novella of questions and answers is done! Thank goodness! I was starting to bore myself!