Saturday, March 20, 2010

Today Heaven Shines Brighter, But My World Has Dimmed

I'm sitting here and I don't know if I can even write this post.  I don't know how to do this.  I don't know how to express to all of you the pain and loss I'm feeling.

This morning, we had to have our beloved, 16-1/2 year old Siamese cat, Stinky, put to sleep.

I guess it doesn't matter why, just that it had to be done, and we're all having a hard time handling it with any sort of grace.  You see, Stinky was our first child.  Jimmy and I brought her home just a month after we were married, and this little tiny furball became our life, and yes, our child.

For more than 16 years, Stinky was there for us, always willing to give us unconditional love.  Through several moves, two more cats brought into the family, the stupid Pug named Snuffie, two children, and finally, Strudel, Stinky did nothing but love all of us completely.  Except for Strudel, that is.  Once the dog came into our family, Stinky decided it was time to retire to the upstairs rooms for good.

Stinky, with her best fur friend and sister, Simmie.

Poo, as we always called her, was the most devoted and loving cat anyone could ever ask for.  She has brightened our lives beyond measure, and with her passing, has dimmed our lives, at least temporarily.

Jimmy held her for hours last night.

Jimmy kept telling me that Poo wasn't telling him she was ready to go.  The true problem was that we weren't ready to let her go.

This morning she tried to convince us she was just fine by licking Jimmy's leftover tomato juice out of his cup.

My Dearest Stinky Poo Poo Queen of the Kitties Oko,

I will love you always and forever.  All the thousands of tears I am shedding for you will never compare to the thousands of moments of joy you brought to my life.

I know you've made it safely over the rainbow bridge and will be there to greet me some day with a pounce and a purr.

My love to you always, 


Pssst! If you love me, you might love my stupid sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

41 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • LoveMy2Dogs

    Okay, so now that I am in full tears, I would like to say that it's very hard to lose a pet. Our beloved Blackie has been gone for 14 months and it's harder than you think it would be. Stinky Poo is looking down upon you all from Kitty Heaven so look up and smile!


  • Tabby

    I'm so sorry you had to say goodbye to dear Stinky. This makes me sad too, pets become members of our families and it hurts just as much when they leave us. I know I can't say anything to make the pain go away but know I am sorry for your lost:(

  • Beckie

    I am so sorry Justine. I'm a hardcore cat lover and after my kitty Sugar passed away a few years ago, I can't bring myself to even think of getting another. I will be praying for you guys and sending all my love!

  • cindy

    So sorry to hear about your pet....they do really become part of the family. What a lucky cat she was to have you as her owner.

  • Ginger

    I too am full of tears after reading your post. I was doing okay until I got to the part where you said Jimmy held her for hours.
    I'm so sorry for your loss. You must of taken really good care of her for her to live so long.
    R.I.P. Stinky Poo.

  • Gucci Mama

    I'm crying here for you and I've made no secret of the way I feel about cats, ahem. ;) But I know how pets become members of our families, and it absolutely breaks my heart that you had to say goodbye to Stinky. I don't know where I would find the strength you have to weather these storms, but I certainly admire it.

    Thinking of you, love you, and I'm here if you need me.

  • Rena

    I'm so sorry, Justine. I call pets like these "once in a lifetime pets". Sometimes I wonder if we only get one. I lost my cat, CJ back in 1995. That was 15 years ago and it's still just as hard today as it was back then. There's not a day that goes by when I don't think of him. I've felt your pain and I know your loss. CJ was the same for us as Stinky Poo was for you -- our first baby. My advice to you is to cherish her memory. Save every picture you have of her. There will be a day when you can speak of her without tears. If you're like me, that day might take a long time to get there, but it will come.

    On the same note, I have another cat now who is turning 17 next week. She hasn't been doing too well lately, so I know I'm going to be in your shoes soon. It's not something I'm looking forward to. My biggest condolences to you and your family. Big, big hugs!


  • Life with Kaishon

    This made me cry and cry. I am so sorry that she is gone. She looks like a wonderful cat. I am sorry for your loss. I will never forget coming home from college and finding out that our Dog had to be put to sleep. Or my kitties. They were all such a big and important part of my life for so many years.

  • Jo

    I'm so sorry for your loss. 2 mo ago my sweet fur baby had to be put out of her pain, and one sweet blogger wrote me the following an it really stuck to me...."We bring pets into our lives knowing it will be for a much shorter period than we would like it to be yet we do it any way. That must say something about how important they are to us." My thoughts are with you and your family at this time....

  • Sue

    Oh Justine. So sorry for your loss. I have nothing to say to make you feel better other than I am thinking of you.

  • Melissa Wertz

    Oh sweetie, been there and know exactly what you are going through. (((((Hugs...))))))

  • bmwgal1948

    Just sending hugs and love. I have been in your shoes and it just rips your heart out. I just cried and cried reading your post. Lin

  • oliveoyl64

    My friends call me a crazy cat mom. Yeah, and so what, I know who loves me warts and all and it isn't the human species.

    My baby girl's name is Puddin, but I call her Stinky too.

    RIP Stinky "Poo".

    Puddin's mom

  • Brianne

    This is even brought the hard 'ol Photog Nazi to tears. :o( She definitely lived a long and happy life! It's so hard to lose such a big part of your family. The only thing that can heal this kind of pain is time. You will be and my thoughts and prayers as you go through such a hard time. :o( I'm so sorry Justine.

  • Cole

    I'm so sorry, Tiney. I know that kind of pain. I hope that when the pain eventually fades that memories of Stinky will continue to bring a smile to your face.

  • KK

    I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know they are family members, not pets and the loss is heartbreaking. Tears are just streaming down my face for ya and I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a big hug!

  • Amy

    So sorry Justine. I know how hard it is to loose a furbaby.

  • The Queen

    I am so sorry. Losing a pet is never easy for those of us that consider our pets family. I will be thinking of you today.

  • Jill

    Remember all the good times with Poo and keep talking about them with the kids and Jimmy. Try not to isolate yourself but instead work together to grieve. Of course Stinky Poo will reunite in heaven with you all eons from now.
    Take care and {{{hugs}}}

  • squawmama

    Oh my dear little friend... this is such a sad post... It is the hardest thing in the world losing a beloved pet... They do love us no matter what and we hang onto them sometimes way longer then we should because it is hard. We still grieve over every pet we have lost. My heart is all yours today. With the deepest of sympathy we love you and feel your pain. Love Ya Sista

  • MommaPebz

    awww Im so sorry Justine! What a beautiful little kitty!

  • Jenny

    Oh Justine, sending you a giant hug and a little prayer of peace.

    This is so difficult.

    And I'm so sorry that you lost such a precious friend.

    Please know I'm sending you peaceful thoughts and healing hopes.


  • Jason, as himself

    Oh, that's so tough. I'm sorry. This part of having pets just bites, big time.

  • Chris

    Justine, I'm so sorry for you and the family, it's a very difficult time when you have to do that. We did that with our Nikki and it took us forever to get over it. My husband still gets upset when he talks about him....Just curl up on the sofa with the girls and talk about all the funny things Poo did, it'll be good for all of you.

    God Bless you and yours, Love ya,

  • Poetic Shutterbug

    That touched me so deeply, I am in tears right now. It is heartbreaking to lose a pet, I know. You've had so many wonderful memories with her and that will live in your hearts forever. She'll always be with you.

  • MJ's doghouse

    we had to put our cat....poshton..
    to sleep when she was 21 and a half...the vet thought she may make it to 25 ...can you imagine..but she ended up gettin a sad....I doubt we will ever quit missing her...she was such a great kitty....sorry this is such a hard time for you all..but i am sure strudel will do something crazy soon to make you all laugh...RIP Stinky Poo

  • C.J.

    saying your sorry seems so... inadequate. but I am. we have lost our cat smokie and dog minnie at about the same time two years ago. you don't get over it. Poo is waiting in heaven now and young, playful and missing his mom and dad.

  • santamaker

    I am so sorry for your loss. Sounds like Stinky was a wonderful little furry baby. You wrote a lovely and touching tribute to your sweet kitty.

  • Jill

    Justine... I am sobbing now too! I didn't realize how much I loved that damn cat till I read this and saw her picture. In the pic of her on the coffee table she looks frail....and unlike the poo I know. I know you guys did the right thing. She is in a better place right now and out of her misery.
    Keep her alive in your memories and wear them with a smile.!

  • Amy

    Oh poor sweet Kitty!! I am so sorry for your loss. This must be the time of year, many of my friends have lost 4 legged pets in the last couple of months. I hope you find comfort in remembering your furry friend and big HUGS to you!

  • wendy

    Dang Justine. That is so sad. I am sure that was and still is really hard for you. She truly was one of the family.
    I always try to remind myself, that although sometimes we have to go through pain like that, it was WORTH all the wonderful memories and good times you had together.
    Joy...and Pain seems to go hand in hand sometimes I have found.

  • Gweny

    Poem For Cats

    And God asked the feline spirit
    Are you ready to come home?
    Oh, yes, quite so, replied the precious soul
    And, as a cat, you know I am most able
    To decide anything for myself.

    Are you coming then? asked God.
    Soon, replied the whiskered angel
    But I must come slowly
    For my human friends are troubled
    For you see, they need me, quite certainly.

    But don't they understand? asked God
    That you'll never leave them?
    That your souls are intertwined. For all eternity?
    That nothing is created or destroyed?
    It just is....forever and ever and ever.

    Eventually they will understand,
    Replied the glorious cat
    For I will whisper into their hearts
    That I am always with them
    I just am....forever and ever and ever.
    Author Unknown

    <3 Love Ya Justine <3

  • Tootsie

    now I am bawling hard. Oh Justine...I know exactly what the pain you feel right now is. I had two precious kitties for 15 years each...and the days that they had to leave me were the worst. I miss them every day still and it has been almost 7 years.
    My heart breaks for you guys.

  • Resh Rene`

    I'm so sorry Tiney..I don't know what to say. I know it's hard to lose a pet, but I don't know how it it to lose yours :( At least you know though that she's ok and won't hurt or be sick anymore. <3

  • NurseChessie

    I'm sobbing for you guys (thank god michael is in the shower) so sorry you had to let her go, but sometimes its what has to be done...
    love ya

  • Grand Pooba

    Oh Justine, I am crying with you! What a beautiful tribute to Poo, I know what you mean when you say she was one of your children.

    What you said about you not being ready to let HER go, is so insightful. So many times pet owners keep their furry children alive even though they are suffering because they can't handle putting them down.

    I know how hard it was when we had to put our dog, Bane, down. It rips your heart out. But I know you guys made the right decision. She is in a better and happier place now.

    Things will get better with time. Hang in there!

  • thatgirlblogs

    we had a v. similar experience with our cat, Tasha. DH cried so hard when we put her down that the vet gave us grief counseling handouts. We eventually (years later) got a kitten that looks exactly like her. Helps a lot.

  • Cathy

    OH, I haven't been on blogland for a bit and I totally missed your loss. Poor Poo... what a sad sad day. I am so sorry tohear this news. How is Simmie doing? My heart breaks just thinking about loosing a family member,,even the 4 legged kind. Baxter is here with me and he is very sad but thankful for Kitty Cat Heaven..

  • Happy To Be/ Gl♥ria

    Justine...girl I'm so sorry for your family loss my friend...Now this is why I don't have animals anymore it hurts me too bad when I lose them...I'm sending you a HUGE HUG my dear friend...Love ya sis...Hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

  • Lavender Chick

    Justine - I have been so busy lately and really bad about about visiting my friends. I am SO SO sorry! I wish I had known sooner so I could at least have sent you some comfort from way out west. I know you feel empty right now and it will take time to heal. Please know my heart is breaking for you. I'm just so sorry I didn't know this happened when it did... I hate to be so late sending my thoughts your way.


  • Four in Costa Rica

    Oh Justine. :( I can only say I am so sorry. I truly understand the pain you're going through and it's really hard. I'm glad Poo isn't suffering anymore. What a beautiful cat she was! I hope she and Charlie are friends somewhere over the bridge.