Friday, July 10, 2009

If It's the Last Thing I Do, I'll Make a Farmer Out of YOU!

And a fast one at that!

Now I'm not saying I'm Miss Fantastic Farmer although really, I am but I've been around the back 40 a time or two now and I've picked up some tips here and there. Tips I've given quite a few of you (and you know who you are), and have mostly been ignored. For shame! But because I'm the Fastest Frickin' Farmer you know, I'm going to do it all again. That's right, Tiney's Farm Town Tutorial is here for the blogosphere.

Man I love rhyming!

Now pay attention people! I've got fields to plow and crops to plant and I'm not going to do this again! Okay, here we go.

Earning Coins and Experience Points:

Before you can really do much with that huge piece of land you now own, you have to make some coins so you can plow (cost of 20 coins per plot) and then plant your seeds (cost varies by seed). First step? The Marketplace! Click on your Map, then click on Marketplace.

Here you will be greeted by the ever present Tom, and can ask for jobs harvesting other people's farms. But beware! Other farmers hate beggars. So choose your words wisely and try to be witty and fun, not desperate!

How to Harvest/Plow/Plant Effectively:

I know what you're thinking. All I have to do is click on the crop and BAM, it's harvested! Well sure, but if you skip around from here to there it's going to take you forever. Your little avatar is going to be walking her work boots right off her feet and you're going to get a lot of that, "Wait... I'm Busy" crap.

Here I have an example for you. Our very own Nikki Crumpet was called to my farm to harvest my raspberries. Now keep in mind, she knows the drill on harvesting. Hide the trees ('cause when you harvest my trees I no longer like you) and harvest each field from the top right corner going down or from the top right corner going to the left. Never go bottom to top, or left to right. Why? Because I said so! No really, it's just the way the graphics program is set up.

Click to see full-size and much clearer!

As you can see from the image above, Miss Crumpet decided to start harvesting at the center of the field. That would have been okay if she picked one row and went straight down, or picked that top row and went straight left. But did she? Oh no, she went willy-nilly all over the damn place while I sat here biting my nails, waiting to plow behind her. Sure, the picture shows a straight row to the left. It was after I took the screen shot that she started harvesting all over the damn place. Really!

And do not harvest your own crops! You can, but you'll only be getting a fraction of the coins that you'd get if you hired someone else to do it. Either hire a neighbor, or go to the Marketplace and hire someone you like.


Don't touch em! 'Nuff said!

No really, don't ever harvest a person's trees unless they've explicitly asked you to, or you've asked them beforehand and got the go-ahead. People like their trees 'cause they look pretty. The fruit on them never dies whereas the rest of your crops do.

To make life easier for everyone involved (mainly me) HIDE your trees. How? Just click on the wrench icon on the top right of your screen and unclick "show trees". Simple as that and people won't turn your scythe around and stab you with it.

Experience Points:

This is how you get from level to level on Farm Town. You get 1 experience point for every plot your plow, 2 experience points for every plot you plant and, depending on what you buy from the store, and how much it costs, you get experience points for spending coins. Another great way to get points is by visiting/tending your neighbors farms each day, sometimes several times a day if you can. Each time you do, you'll get 15 coins and 6 experience points.

Want to know how many points you need to reach that next level? Read here.

Want to know exactly when your crops will be ready for harvest? Use this handy dandy calculator!

Plan Your Crops!!!:

You're going to get more bang for your buck if you plant raspberries, which is a 2 hour crop, or grapes, which is a 4 hour crop. But be aware that Farm Town crops wither and die within the same amount of time it takes them to grow. So planting 2- and 4- hour crops at night is not the best idea, because you'll wake up the next morning and they'll all be dead. Our beloved Picket was so excited to plant grapes on her first Farm Town day that she planted them at nearly midnight. What did that little doodlehead do then? She set her alarm clock for 3:00 a.m., and got up to harvest! Oh my word, when I heard about that I let out one of her sissy-girl squeals!

Anyway, the reason these fast-growing crops are great is because the more often you're able to harvest, the more often you can plow and plant and gain those experience points. If, on the other hand, you could give a crap about advancing to the next level, and would instead like to spend time with your family and taking care of your home, plant 3- or 4- day crops and resume your normal life until harvesting time.

This is one of those "do as I say and not as I do" things, because honestly? I can't stay away from my farm for more than a few hours without getting the jitters. Just ask my neglected children. I kid! I kid!

I think this just about does it for now. It seems I've single-handedly created a monster in the world of blogging, because so many of you have now joined me in the farming community. One by one we're plowing our way through blogland, converting fairly normal people into overall-wearing, scythe-toting addicts! Power to the farmers!

Now don't forget that Stella is visiting with Jill this week. Make sure you check her blog often to see what Stella has been up to!

Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

43 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Cole

    Like a good farmer, I took care of your raspberry fields without heading all over the place.

    And, yes, letting my play on your farm was an excellent birthday present. I might even let you enter my new giveaway following that little treat. :-)

  • Diane @ Four Paws and Co

    Lady, you have become the QUEEN of TUTORIALS! Now, why couldn't you have done this when you got me addicted to my miserable little farm?!?

    I did the unthinkable tonight... I harvested Bridget's trees. OMG, I felt awful when she explained that she likes the color. I won't do that one again....

    I just added onto the farm again! I don't think I'll ever have 300,000 coins for that white house though...

    ☺♥☺ Diane

  • Cathy

    I planted raspberriers tonight and was messing around and forgot them... I can't play at work or I would be a rich bitch... well gotta go...big fight in town..

  • squawmama

    Hey girlfriend you are such a farmer... I have not even been there yet. SOunds like you all are having great fun with it. Have a Great day at the FARM!


  • bj

    MY GOSH O'MIGHTY...this sound like the most complicated thing I've ever heard in my entire, loooong life ! No way am I smart enuf to stay up with all you young freakin' way!! I wouldn't try farming around ya'll for a million way...but...I am thrilled ya'll are having so much fun with it.
    Happy farming and, really, that was sweet of you to sit down and type all these instructions. If I were 20 years younger, I'd sure go for it!! I would!!
    Hope you have a sweet weekend...

  • Tami

    LOL, I can't farm, I don't need to be addicted to something else.. I'm stayin clear dear friend!

  • imjacobsmom

    Aha! So that's why you wanted me to harvest your crops - so you could make an example out of me and my stupidity -LOL. It's hard to control that little avatar she doesn't always go where you want her too. (excuses, excuses - I know) But still ask me and I will still harvest....anytime! I'm finally earning enough coins to actually have some fun and decorate my plot. You're right it is addicting. ~ Robyn

  • Rachelle

    Thanks for all the tips! I have been wondering how to advance farther faster! I just want to be able to get my hands on a bigger plot of land! I have been avoiding planting grapes and raspberries cause I never get back to them in time. I will try to make you proud!

  • blueviolet

    You're tempting me with this farming nonsense but the fact that you're so well versed in it that you can write a tutorial tells me that I need to run, run from the farm.

  • mrsben

    Sooooo that is where Bridgette is....down on the Farm. Here I thought she was bathing in 'lotions and potions'.

    Sounds like fun, but like so many "you ain't going to get me addicted". I have friggin real work to do!!!!!!!

    HAVE A GREAT SUNDAY. Many hugs

  • Tootsie

    this is just too much!!! wait till you see what just arrived to torment me for the rest of the next 15-20 years!! I will blog it soon...I just need to get some photos...and that is so not easy to do!
    can you guess what it is????

  • nikkicrumpet

    NIIIICE YOU WITCH...see if I ever willy nilly farm your crops again. I didn't realize you only asked so you could MOCK ME! I hope your crops wither and your animals all get hoof rot...oh KILLED YOUR ANIMALS. I'm CALLING PETA!!!!

  • Justine

    Thanks for making me nearly choke on my diet soda, Nikki!

  • Anonymous

    Yeah...I totally don't need another obsession...I'm gonna pretend I didn't read this.

  • Tootsie

    no worries Justine....Tootsie was the same size as Bumble Bee when she arrived to be my baby....And I rescued Niffer from some kids in a park...who were torturing him....and they lived 15 extremely spoiled years each in my house...I didn't de-claw...think it is cruel....but I did teach two cats not to scratch furniture...or walk on counters or tables....I also used to cut their nails so they were blunt instead of pointy!
    Niffer and Tootsie passed away 6 years ago...Niffer had Kidney Failure and was starting to feel pain, and he could not be the end weighed almost 30 pounds...from the pancreas cancer and thyroid disorder...she was enormous...and I still tear up at the memory of her and Niffer...the days we had to take them in to let them "rest" were the two worst days of my have had cats before...and I loved the hell out of them...(so much that I almost gave up a semester of university because I could not find and apartment that would let me bring them)
    better parents are on their way here today!

  • artis1111

    Justine,I am just taking my time till I get my buildings, in no hurry. Mu little farm is more of a ranch.hehe Kathy

  • Amy

    I love FarmTown, but I like FarmVille too. I am so sucked in. Sorry I could not harvest for you, I will be home later and have a steady connection and better computer. Love the tutorial, I am bookmarking those links so I can refer to them....OFTEN!! Thanks!

  • Anonymous

    She hasn't told you that she harrassed me so much one night to let her come and work on my farm that I almost had to get a court order to keep her off my facebook chat!
    Did she want to help me out? Did she hellers like - she wanted to abuse my good nature so she could get more coins!!

  • Diane @ Four Paws and Co

    Hey Justine! Did you start biting your nails while I harvested for you last night?!? tee hee hee (evil laughter!) ☺ Diane AKA PEPPER

  • bj

    Well, dear sweetie hard as you work on your FARM, you deserve some icy cold, sweet treat like ICE go get your cute self a quart of it and ENJOY !! I mean, after all, this IS National Ice Cream Month !! Oh, and get a quart for each of the girls...ok...your hubby, too.
    Shoot, you may just have to haul off and MAKE your own!! I really wanted to make homemade ice cream for this social but...i'm not very good at it...Texas Blue Bell is better!!

  • Life on Bonnie Lane

    I am sooooo not going to start farming! Sounds like a lot of time. That being said though, your farm looks awesome! I love that little mill and the stream, and that gazebo with the little pond, and what a cool house! You done good!


  • Ginger

    LOL to Nikki's comment. Great tutorial Justine. I could almost understand it. lol.. I tried harvesting someone's crops and got bumped. The guy thought I was an idiot I'm sure.
    Thanks for getting me hooked. Now I get nothing done. (good excuse)

  • Mrs. B. Silly

    I've been outed! I'm glad you decided to make an example of Ms. Crumpet instead of me though.

  • angie

    This was great for me because I had NOOOOOOOOOOO idea. :)

  • Gayle


    I do not know how you do it! You are so creative. I'm enjoying your blog....and trying to figure out how to become a "follower"..LOL
    I'm such an idiot at this computer stuff!!!!

  • Elizabeth

    Great tutorial, but now I'm even more sure I'd get addicted! I think I'll stick to city life!

  • Shelia

    Morning, Justiney! Are you gathering any of your crops yet! You litte farmerette, you! Now, Dear One, you're just too young to appreciate my tiny little figurines! They do have some odd looking faces. But hey! They were made in Japan! :)
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  • Grand Pooba

    Holy crap. Someone is a little obsessed!

    Not you, I'm talking about nikki crumpet of course.

  • Picket

    OH MY WORD!!!!! Why didn't you just title this PICKET...I'M TALKING TO YOU GIRL!!!!lol lol and put it on the 6 o'clock news! lol lol You know I am under pressure when I harvest for you...the computer keeps shuting off and I get nervous and I can't help it if I am all over the place cause you are right behind me with that plow of yours...lordy forbid if I drop my harvesting tool and bend over to get it!!!!! I'd be plowed under with the taters! lol I don't like that market place...people are all over you & I feel violated and when I finally make it back to the farm there are 3-4 strangers that catch a ride back with me and they start lurking in the cabbage patch...I am just doing the best I can Miss Scarlett...I don't know nothing bout birthing no babies!!!! lol lol I will copy and save these notes for future studies! lol lol~♥~

  • Jill

    You NEED FA!

  • Cole

    I gave you an award; come over and claim it missy!!!

    I see that you are reading Knitting Under the Influence. Good book!

  • Happy To Be/ Gl♥ria

    Justine you silly thing...Yes Len have a LR that not Pink and he also got his Car/gun about the stove girl we don't have gas up here...only propane gas and I hate those big ugly tanks...thats why I have a electric stove...girl I live on a mountain top not in a big city..And also Len moved into my home so I do it anyway I want ha ha!! Hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

  • Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

    Oh're going to get me sucked into this, aren't you? :)

  • Tootsie

    how's life treating you? haven't seen so much of you lately lady!!! did you run out and get yourself a set of farmin over-alls yet? lol
    just teasing you. Miss your posts

  • bj

    Well, I was just fixing to come over and check on you when I saw you'd been by.
    Oh, it was a little work to get all that set up in the vineyard but, not too much. The table was a card table so no problem there...we just put all our food and props in the back of the car, drove down to the vineyard (right behind son's house) and had fun putting it all together. Then, we loaded it all back in the SUV, back to the house where it was COOL, and ate our pizza and salad..then spent the rest of the day INSIDE, watching chick flicks..

  • Kathy

    Looks like a lot of fun down on the farm :-), Kathy.

  • Anonymous

    LOl... you are hilarious! I was going to try my hand at farming... but I refuse to join facebook! I can't believe that you have your own tutorial! (LMAO) I am sure the game is addictive! Good thing I didn't join!

    I posted a few frogs today... I thought of you! :)

    Donna marie

  • Philly

    One of these days I'll get around to figuring that farm out


  • santamaker

    Okay, I've been feeling guilty about spending too much time on the puter blogging and reading blogs , but FAKE FARMING?!? That takes the cake!
    You are FreaKING NutZ !!!!'
    Sounds like you got captured by aliens in the middle of the night and they "planted" a pod in your that would make you obsessed with alien farming. Wouldn't it be better just to go out in your yard, pull a couple of weeds and maybe water the flowers? !?
    Good grief. Sure hope there's a Patch for you to wear to break you of this crazy hobby! LOL!
    Gotta love ya! You crack me up!

  • bj

    Good don't post very often, do you? Too freakin' busy with farming, are ya?? Yep...I think so. Talk about addicting!!
    OK, well, I just wanted to say be sure and come by sometime on Sat. cause your little ole name is mentioned...and linked...and so...

  • xinex

    Hi Justine, After reading how many people get addictied to this, I am not sure I want to read the instructions. But good luck to you all and have fun!...Christine

  • Grand Pooba

    Okay, I am now keeping this post as a favorite to reference for all my farming questions.

    I'm trying to make wine but my grapes keep dying! How can I be a winemaker with no grapes!!


  • Raxx - A day in the life

    Oh my! I caught the bug!! I have a farm and I love it!! There I said it!! My computer is acting weird, so that's where I went when we were chatting earlier!!