Friday, July 24, 2009

Fragmented Friday


Since I've just got more random stuff to tell you, I figured I'd join Friday Fragments, hosted at Half Past Kissing Time, and which I found on my blogger bud, Yaya's, blog. Her Friday Fragments posts are always my favorite to read because you just never know what this chick is going to tell you. Her TMIFYI's (Too much information, for your information) are the BEST!

I have Blogger's Butt. Farmer's Fanny. Email Erump. I think I my have Posterior Pimples from all of the above.

Incidentally, I am not the only one with ass issues.

Meet my new garden frog, Fred.

He's super cute, right? And yes, I do realize he's sitting in a very feminine position, but I refuse to have a female frog gracing my flower table. All critters are boys for me, unless they're my pet, then they must be a girl. Don't ask, 'cause I don't know.

So anyway, Fred is a little on the fem side, so I've decided he's my gay garden frog. What? Don't look at me like that! Love is never wrong, even for amphibians!

But Fred has other problems. Mainly that he's got an ass crack. Have you ever seen a real frog with a crack? No? Well that's because frogs don't have butt cracks!

But Fred does. Just another reason why I've decided he's my gay garden frog.



TMIFYI (Too much information, for your information) Sorry Yaya, it's too good not to copy.

The other day while showering, I thought I'd dropped the soap, but didn't hear it hit the floor of the shower. I looked around but it wasn't there. I found the soap stuck under my boob! Yep, you know your knockers are ginormous when you can hide cleaning products under them.


Bitch of the week


This may be a new weekly thing for me. Ya know, highlight just one individual who's shown signs of a bitchy side you never knew was there.

This week's honoree? Nikki Crumpet! Yeah, you read that right. Our very own, highly respected, highly regarded and highly loved Nikki has shown signs of being a closet bitch! Why? I'll give you one word: Nepotism. She practices it. Do you know how many harvesting and plowing jobs I, Sweet Lil' Tater, have thrown her way? Hell, I've put thousands of coins in this woman's coffers. But guess what? I can't get her to hire me anymore! Why? Because she has to give all of her work to her daughter, Lindsey. NEPOTISMIST!!!!!! That's got to be one of the worst "ist's" there is!


Stoopid Funny

Ooh, I hope these two girls don't kill me for this, but it just cracked me up so completely that I have to share.

What is you call it when someone follows you, watches you, obsesses over you? Stalking, correct? Well, two of my most favorite blogger buds both referred to this on their posts, on the same day, as... STOCKING! To both Pooba and Donna, I'm so very sorry, but today you've received the Stoopid Funny award!

Aw, don't look at me like that girls! You're both so cute and funny and you know I love ya to death. But it's things like "stocking/stalking" that just make my day! Oh, that and pointing it out to all my readers, and posting pictures of the guilty parties.

The oh-so-lovely Donna

The oh-so-sexy Kelly

I think I had more to write about, but at this point, it might be best to cut my losses and run for the hills. 'Cause Donna is currently in Florida, traveling around in Tassie and could easily drive over here and kick my ass. And Kelly? Well, she's a self-proclaimed giant and she might stomp from Utah to here like Godzilla and kick my ass. Nikki? I'm not afraid of her, or her two little dogs! She can just kiss my ass!

POOF, I'm gone!





Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

48 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Yaya

    OMG girl I love it!! I bet pooba loves that pic of her! Aren't fragments the best? So crumpet's been farming huh? No wonder she never posts anymore!

  • Ginger

    Yep, Fred does look a little feminine. Cute though.
    Our Miss Nikki is a bitch, nah...never believe it. I sure miss her and her 2 fur kids.
    I am laughing over your stocking/stalking comments.

  • Jason, as himself

    I love your gay frog.

    And I love that you love Pooba. I think she and I came in contact through you.

  • Donna Marie

    Hey Justine!!!!! Your little gay frog is so cute... and so is his little froggy butt crack! (LOL)

    Thanks for stopping by!!!!! The cookie monster was all over Michaela's ass!!! (LOL) Thanks again for the visit!

    xoxoxoxo
    Donna Marie

  • imjacobsmom

    Okay, I'm catching up here. I DO have the Farm Town callus. My wrist is so sore and I need to use it for a living, you know. And wow, you get to ride in the stretch limo like a celebrity. You'll have to blog about that one. I wish you all a happy birthday from me & Jacob! That place looks awesome! Know doubt that Fred is gay. I'm caught in that catch 22 - I have Jacob living right here claiming all of the harvesting and plowing it's hard to throw out a bone now and then. But he does need a neighbor or two so that someone can plow for him - He's nitroengine on FB. Have a great weekend! ~ Robyn

  • Amy

    That is one sexy looking gay frog you got there.. you should have gotten him a friend. HA!

  • Jill

    I'd help Nikki kick your ass!

  • Stephanie

    That is the gayest frog I've ever seen. I really want to take him shopping with me.

    Also, you're not the only one whose lost the soap under that portion of her anatomy. It wasn't a fun day the first time that happened. But I've learned to cope. ;)

  • Lindsey!

    *sniff* *sniff* What is that smell? *Sniff* Sniff* Oh I know what that smell is!!! JEALOUSY! Oh jealousy! It is OK I still love you:)

  • lilsista

    WOW!!!! That's just NASTY! ...The whole post...nasty, nasty and more nasty! Girl!...that whole frog is just ewwwwwwwe! And...you are way too mean to your friends... I respect that you're very blunt and I know that you were just joking around...but....Wow!....Nasty lady!

    Hope you have a weekend girl! Smiles :0) and chuckles...Hee,Hee...

  • xinex

    LOL! Very funny, Justine. A gay frog huh?...Christine

  • Life on Bonnie Lane

    I read you post to my son and we both cracked up laughing...gay frog indeed! He does actually have a fetching bottom and will have no trouble attracting a mate. Ha.

    Dropped the soap? Lost it under your boob? roflmao Mine are ginormous but I never lost my soap under them...crumbs from a snack, yes, but not soap.

    Stocking? roflmao!

    Kady

  • squawmama

    DUHHHHHH!!!!! What can I say or spell for that matter... Oh you say there is a spell check button... OMG I can't even use that!!! Like I said 40 years out of school and I have become a dimwit... I liked your froggy ass oh I meant your gay froggy's ass. Lucky for you we are getting close to exiting Florida and heading to Mississippi... Love ya girlfriend!

    (((HUGS)))
    Donna

  • Amy

    Seeing that frogs ass crack is just what I needed today to make me laugh. I mean, with all that TMIFYI, you could have showed us YOURS...hahahaahaha!

  • Tootsie

    If Nikki is like my mom...she is little and mighty! lol
    run JUSTINE!!!
    hope all is well...as for that soap... I am giggling...but have nothing to say! lol
    have a weekend to remember friend!

  • Tootsie

    is there even such a thing as a gay frog!!!? I have heard of fish...but frogs...speaking of frogs..my kids found one in my gardens the other day! I thought of you almost immediately.
    do you still have millions of them hopping around on your deck?
    well....best get going...I am off to sit in the pool and cool off...it is just hot here this week!
    I'm waiting for some paint to dry and some stain to harden so I can post my latest project ....maybe if it turns out!

  • sue

    LOL!!!!You know there is no love lost between Nikki and me, but Donna?? Come on Donna use a little dictionary by the computer like I do!! LOL! Old age does bring with it a lack of spelling smarts!! You'll soon see Justiney!! Cute froggy butt crack....

  • hpabate

    Oh your frog fred is adorable. I have joined your site, and my mom would love to see your frog web site, she loves everything frog. Wonderful pictures, and you blog is gorgeous, thank you for sharing. Hop on over sometime and feel free to look around my blog home.

    Cheers,
    Heidi

  • Nikki via The Scarlett Rose Garden

    I thought the post was funny enough, but when I scrolled down and read gay frog in your tags I really got a good chuckle!

  • Jill

    OMG...........u crack me up. Soap............gay frog!!!

  • nikkicrumpet

    Hey Jill....you're on!! Between the two of us we can definitely beat the crap out of your mean sister!!! And I refuse to kiss your a$$ because I bet those farming butt pimples are HUGE!!!! And I didn't realize I would get called mean names for taking good care of my baby girl. I thought that's what GOOD mothers did lol. It's a good thing I love you woman!

  • Cole

    Wow, that's one sexy frog you got hanging in your yard! I've never seen a frog with a butt crack before... thanks for filling that void!

    The soap...I feel your pain.

    Now, be nice to the grammatically incorrect girls!! Just send them a dictionary for Christmas, and everyone will be happy. :-)

  • Amelia

    hahahahaha I LOVE your Fragment Friday! Gay frog??? Umm....YEAhhh! hahahaha :)

  • xinex

    Thanks for coming by, Justine. John is not a head surgeon. He is a Urologist.....Christine

  • Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

    Yep, Fred is definitely light on his feet... ;)

    So that's where Nikki's been hiding! I guess I'm really going to have to get on the Farming bandwagon so I can annoy her...or would that be 'stock' her? (snicker!)

    I'm going to have to take a page from yours and Yaya's book and jazz up my FF posts so they're not so borrrrring... :) :) :)

    Have a great weekend! :)

  • Kristen

    Too funny! I so love it all. And I am a little jealous of the frog's smooth ass. The soap...lmfao! Stocking? Really...too cute.

  • blueviolet

    That frog isn't even really a boy. He's sitting like that to cover up the fact that he doesn't even HAVE a penis.

    I hate your boobs. I love your boobs. I want your boobs.

  • hpabate

    Oh Justine, thank you for the comment on my wedding dress, I was a bigger women when I got married and my arms were not so lovely exposed so my mom made the sleeves sheer, but the pictures don't show the sleeves went all the way to the ground, they were a wonderful cover up :) thank you so much for stopping feel free to come any time. Again your frogs are so sweet.


    Cheers,
    Heidi

  • Yaya

    Had to tell you I'm STILL laughing about the soap being stuck under your boob....

  • Country Wings in Phoenix

    Oh Justine, My Heidi was right. I love your blog, your Froggy Fred's butt. So cute honey. I have signed up to follow your blog. I have to keep up with Fred saga. Is Fred Gay or Not? Maybe he is just a cross dresser. You have to pop over and read some of my back blogs. I have one totally about my frogs. You would love it, and I would love to have you sign up to follow my blog as well. Country Hugs, Sherry

  • Happy To Be/ Gl♥ria

    Oooohhh Girl you always make me laugh and that's a great thing to do...Love your humor...Now you can tell by the butt crack it's a boy...Looks like a plummber frog to me...Now you girls play nice in Farm town you hear...Hope you have a great week my friend...Hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

  • Hi! I'm Grace

    Hi Justine, I enjoyed reading your post. May you have a blessed Sunday tomorrow. :)

  • bj

    It's midnight here, I just got in from a looooong day at the lake in the fastest dang boat I ever saw, I am so tired i'm cross-eyed and can not WAIT to get in bed but I had to tell you I laughed so hard at your comment on my ugly green hamper...you just crack me up, Tiney.

  • Sit A Spell

    I saw you at sunny side...I pop over here to be mooned...by a gay garden frog none the less! Ok..I saw you're in FL...we are moving there!

  • Sit A Spell

    Ok...just saw your swimmin' hole...looks like you're just north of where we are going to be.

  • Lori

    Girl you are toooo funny... I sure have missed reading blog... I needed a good laugh...

  • NurseChessie

    I know you were there on Skype when I had a chat with Jill about using her gynormous cleavage as a pocket... I expect it from her.. but your supposed to be the smart sister. LOL... Get a Grip!

    love ya,
    chessie

  • gaelikaa

    Hi! Dropped in to see your sis from SITS and came over to you from there. I enjoyed reading your stuff, and my kid who just dropped in from school loved your cats. And by the way I always thought frogs are quite graceful amphibians be they male or female. It's the toads - big, ugly, heavy dty guys that have that rugged look. So who says your frog's gay! Anyway, have a good day!

  • Yaya

    Me again. Had to tell you I have toe thumbs too. So....we can start a toe thumb club if you want?
    Oh, and Megan Fox of Transformers has toe thumbs, so see...we're cool like that.

  • bj

    OK, Tiney...I thought I had you, girl. When I saw the word "stach", I googled it and the first meaning of the word was STATUTORY RAPIST..ah HA!! But, I read on and the 2nd meaning was "a word short for stomach"!! SHOOT...foiled again!

  • Dawn

    Your sister told me to drop by and so I did... guess what I would soooooooo love to hang out with you 2 - what fun girls you are bringing sunshine into the lives of others.... you know what they say about that don't you...
    they who bring sunshine to the lives of others cant help but bring it to themselves - so may everyday be sunny for you cos you share it so well xxx

  • Amandasaurus

    Love the gay garden frog!

  • angie

    No garden is complete without a gay garden frog. :)

  • Gayle

    You crack me up. Get it??
    "Crack" me up?
    Ok, that was bad, I admit it.


    Have a wonderful week!!
    :0)
    Gayle

  • La Belle Mere UK

    Hey Justine!!!

    Thanks for visiting my blog! I LOVE your toe thumbs! They are a-mezzin.

    I'm following you now! Hope you follow do the same!

    Bec xxxx

  • Tami

    I awarded YOU

    Now since I'm so not into rules, heh heh, all you have to do is pass them on.

    I hate rules. LOL.

  • Elizabeth

    I hope your birthday was mentioned during the big family celebration. Looks like a great family day, and how nice that you were able to also have some peaceful alone time in a beautiful spot!

  • Grand Pooba

    Well you're right, you better run for the hills because this giant is coming for ya! As soon as I'm through with my sister, you are so dead. And I mean that in the most non threatening way of course.

    I will be stocking you.