Sunday, June 28, 2009

Jill Wuz Here

Yep, Jill and the girls have been here since Friday afternoon, but I can't say we've spent all that much time together. Ya know, because Facebooking, farming, and spending time with Mikayla seems more alluring to Jill than being in my company.

Okay, so it's probably not really that way, just the way things work out.

From the moment she opened the front door, all sense of quiet ceased to exist in my home. Strudel didn't even have to see Cannoli to know she was here, and boy did she get excited. She turned into a canine pogo stick.



Don't worry, she wasn't left to suffer much longer. As soon as I put the camera down she was released from her kitchen prison.

Three minutes later, Jill plopped down at the kitchen table and opened her computer.

Well hello there sister dear! So glad to see you're more concerned with your crops than paying attention to me!

So I went upstairs and took a nap. So sue me! I'd gotten less than six hours of sleep Thursday night and I had a party to go to at Jimmy's boss's house that night. Without my beauty sleep I'd be hopeless.

While I was schmoozing with the Stellar execs, Jill took the girls to the mall for a few hours. The party was nice, the people were nice, and holy shit, but did I actually behave myself and not embarrass my husband? Yes, I surely did and managed to do so while still being me. Go figure. Who even knew it was possible?

I didn't stay very late, but in fact left Jimmy there at 10:30 to be driven home by a friend. Hey, sister was waiting! Well, sister and my farm. Little did I know that Jill had forgotten to take her brain home from the mall. Boy was I in for some laughing due to her stupidity. Her, Mikayla and I were sitting out here, each of us on a different computer, and just about every single thing that came out of Jill's mouth was either mangled or just plain stupid.

Example:

Hey, did you know that at 20 minutes after the hour and 20 minutes before the hour there's a lull of silence?

Huh? Wha? A lull of silence? Just that sentence alone makes no sense.

But yeah, there's a lull of silence!

Do you mean there's a break in the silence?

No, it becomes silent!

WHAT becomes silent?

The WORLD!

Huh? Wha? Jill, are you on drugs?

No really. It's true. Twenty minutes after the hour and 20 minutes before the hour the entire world gets quiet.

Holy shit. I really do need to disown you. You're an idiot!

Now I don't remember how the topic of worms and their anatomy came up... something about Mikayla and doing dissections, but we rolled with laughter when Jill, stunned, asked, "Worms have butt holes?" Well yes, yes they do. That's how they POOP.

Then, of course, farming came up. Jill was acting all offended when I told her I'd sold off all my farm animals.

Why? What have you got against farm animals? Or have you decided to join PETA?

This could have made some sort of sense until she asked what PETA stands for.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Oh, but I thought it was spelled PITA.

No dumbass, that's the thing you eat. Or it could also stand for Pain in the Ass, which you are. You're making my butt twitch.


At one point, Jill was staring across the table at me. She said:

Your left owl is starting to look a little spermy again.

My owl? Do you mean my eyebrow?

Yeah, what did I say?

I give up!!!


Poor Mikayla could do nothing but shake her head, laugh, and call her aunt an idiot. Which she is, so I didn't smack her upside the head for insolence.

Saturday, the kids had a bit of fun in the tiny kiddie pool. Gianna just loves this thing and the two other not-so-little ones decided to get in on the action.

Um, you'll have to ignore the ripped black plastic bag that's in place of where a screen belongs. It's only been like this for 3 months. We have the screen, we have the tool to fix it, but someone won't let me fix it and keeps saying it will get done. Yeah. Right. So for now? We live as white trailer trash do.









And while they were doing that, Jill, Mikayla and I were doing this.



Look. I caught Jill mid-sentence saying, "Don't you dare!"



We did wind up going to the pool for a couple of hours which was a wonderful respite from the overwhelming heat. I didn't bring my camera because really, do you want to see Jill and I in bathing suits? No, I didn't think so.

Jill insisted the entire day that she was driving home that night. No matter how much begging and cajoling I did, she still wanted to go home. Well sure, just make me feel unloved. Just rip my heart to shreds why don't you.

But then Jimmy brought the girls to the movies and oops, didn't get home till 1:30 a.m. So, Jill is still here.

While I was out here on the lanai doing my thing, this little sucker crawled right up to me. He was squished to death soon after I took the picture.



Jill at this very moment. Why does she always look pissed at me?




And Gianna. Why is this child always nekkid?




Well, she's got one kid dressed now, and one still naked and she's packing up to go. I'll miss her, I'll miss the girls, but I think I will embrace the sweet silence for a while. And then will have to scrub and deodorize my house. Why is it that when she's here everything gets filthy?

*Stay tuned for my next episode of farming on Facebook. In this episode Picket will be spotlighted as the current blogger to have been bitten by the farming bug. Another ho with a hoe? You betchya! If you hear incredibly loud sissy-girl screaming? It's just Dot, making it known that her corn is ready for harvest.




Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!


39 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Ginger

    Great post. I love seeing all the pictures of everyone...where were you Justine? No pictures of you dressed up to go to a party?
    Pretty cute of Strudel jumping up from excitement.
    I was laughing at the girls in the little pool, knowing you have that huge beautiful pool close by. Leave it to kids!!
    Ugly scorpion...hate those things.
    We used to find them floating in our pool in Vegas. Yuck.
    I just got my screen door rescreened yesterday. It was tore for at least a year. Son's dog was using it for a dogging door when she was here.

  • Amy

    GOODNESS.... You all need an intervention with the Farming! LOL.. Jill remembered the computer, but forgot clothes for her kid ~HA!!!

  • Swirl Girl

    What the heck was that thing , a scorpion ??

    come embarrassed over at my place!

  • Picket

    Hey girl..all my bunch just left..grandkids flying everywhere! Little Isabella can pull herself up now and stand! lol
    Ohhhh I hate scorpions!!! And why does that child not have any clothes on!!!! lol lol Little Hunter use to be the same way..we went up there once and he came flying out of the house naked and I thought Bill was gonna die...He started hollering for Angie to get that young un back in the house and get some clothes on him! lol

    I do love how you and Jill are so close...I couldn't imagine not having my sister in my life..

    About the farm...like I tried to tell you this morning but you said the message got cut off...I have never been one to do the facebook thingy...not comfortable in chatroom situations...plus don't know how to use all the different parts of it! But this little Farmtown thing has touched me like you would not believe...it is not an obsession or addition kinda thing for me...I finally figured out how to plant crops that I can time so I don't have to be at the computer all the time..because I just can't sit here all day...(my family is so demanding!) lol

    You see I had such a beautiful childhood with my grandparents and going to the country and seeing all the animals and helping out with the gardens..I have always dreamed of living in the country with a chicken and a big old farm house...seriously I will cry if I get to see a real baby chick and hold it...I know you may not understand this but it touches the very core of my heart and all the love I had and was given from my family as I grew up..

    So when I saw that this little farm could come to life and in a small way let me live my dream on a small scale even in cartoon...I just couldn't believe it...ohhhh and when I got my first cow!!!! oh I squealed so loud Bill came running in here! I know it sounds crazy but your introducing me to this simple thing has been just the sweetest blessing to my soul and yes I was crying like a baby this morning when I tried to thank you and tell you I loved you for this sweet blessing to my heart..I only hope one day I truly do get the big farmhouse and a chicken and clothesline...Oh good grief I am crying again...I just feel so blessed and so loved and I am so thankful I have lived to see this day with all my babies and grandbabies and I gotta go wash my face...love ya girl! ~♥~

  • lilsista

    I think that all kids go through a naked stage...just pray she grows out of it! :0) Sounds like the little pool party was a great time!

  • Chocolate Covered Daydreams

    That was the cutest doggie move I've seen. I bet they were inseparable the whole time they were together.

    Looks like fun except for the scorpion. I think I would've screamed!!!

    How far about do you live from one another?

    Yeah, where's the picture of you going to the party??

  • Jill

    I was going to ask if Gianna was always nekkid!

    Oh, poor Justine........Jill was playing with Mikayla and not you. LMAO

    --Kiki

  • Yaya

    That video made me smile! You sounds like y'all have so much fun together!

    Lol at nakedness. Haha!

  • Diane @ Four Paws and Co

    I got such a kick out all of you & Strudel is so adorable! I just giggled while I watched her! ☺ Diane

  • Tami

    LOL, I got some of this later on with you two! I loved talking to you guys last night. YOu both keep me on my toes. HuGZ Girlie!

  • blueviolet

    I love how you torture her with more than one picture!

    That scorpion is horrid! I'm glad you killed it but yet, I'm glad you waited until you took a picture first.

    That little pool is so tiny! LOL, they barely fit!

  • Cole

    Hahaha! Sounds like an eventful weeekend.

  • bj

    Boy....what a great post here, Tiney..when you DO post, you do it RIGHT!
    First of all, that Strudel doggie is so cute and I thought he was gonna have a jumpin' fit...well, he DID have a jumpin' fit. Cute video.
    LOVE how you and Jill love ea. other. Thats the way it's supposed to be. I don't have a sister but I had a sister*in*law that I loved so much I didn't know what to do. We had such fun together..she died last year and...well..i can't talk about it.
    Now, it sounds like that Dot has THE farm addiction...I'm tryin' to stay away from it..I tell ya, I already spend toooo much time at that computer!!
    See ya....
    ooo, those little people on the beach...some of the grands.

  • Gena

    I like the post. It is so cute.

    Sorry I snuck that award in on you. See, you never know who's watching. I've just neglected my blog hopping the last little bit, so I guess we haven't got to know each other.

    Nice to meet you, formally.

    Please accept the award. You have a very cute, very KREATIV blog. You deserve it.

  • Tootsie

    Mikayla is absolutely gorgeous!!! what a beauty...she is sure growing up girl...better be ready!!! The boys will be coming around in droves!!!
    Looks like you girls had another fun weekend!!! I hope all is well with you both...have a great week!!! My kids are done school now...so it is a little less crazy in the morning...but busy none the less!
    I also can't believe you put called Picket a ho and she didn't tell you what's for!!! She's such a sweet lady....LADY...I love picket...but farmtown...no thanks!

  • Joanna Jenkins

    Oh man, those pics of the naked kids bring back memories of my nieces and nephews. Too cute!

  • Secondary Roads

    Speaking of farming . . .
    If Jimmy cracks corn and nobody cares, why did they write a song about it? I'd really like to know.

  • raxx a day in the life

    What a busy, crazy weekend you had!! And sooo much fun!! I cant believe you got all dolled up and no photos of you and the hubby, glad you had fun at his office function though.

    The converstations bet you and Jill are just too funny! I really was cracking up reading em!

  • Lindsey!

    I loved the pic of everybody getting their Farm Town fix:) My boyfriend thinks I am ridiculous but he just doesn't understand the power of farming! I love the dogie pogo...so cute! To bad my dogs are a little to chubby to show that level of athleticism!

  • Mrs. B. Silly

    Okay! I'm leaving a comment! Why don't you tell me something that I don't know already? ROFL
    Nice pics of Jill. : ) Payback is in your future!!!!

  • NurseChessie

    I just wanna know if I can borrow Madisons bathing suit?

  • Tootsie

    the only time I lay around and do nothing....I am sedated and more than likely sick as a dog!!!
    That is one thing I don't know how to do...relax. I have to be doing something all the time...I even move around a lot when I am sleeping -from what I hear...I roll over several times a night!
    have fun you farming diva!

  • Shelia

    Oh, my silly Justiney! What fun you and Jill seem to always have! I don't have a sister! I don't even have a brother! Loved the pogo Strudel! How cute it that! And the nekked little one! lol
    Glad you had fun!
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  • angie

    Oh my stars. You must have an amazing relationship to be able to write about her the way you do. I'm STILL laughing. I especially like the 20 minutes after the hour and 20 minutes before the hour the world goes quiet. :)

  • Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

    Waaaah! I can't see the pictures - this joke of an internet connection sucks pond water! But I'll be back...you can count on that! ;)

  • Donna Marie

    LOL... I am cracking up at Gianna being NEKKID all of the time. (LMAO)

    Oh and I didn't mind at all about you saying that Michaela is stacked... the girl has big knocks... what can I say! (I just cry) (LOL)

    Thanks for the sweet compliments! :)

    xoxoxoxoxox
    Donna Marie

  • nikkicrumpet

    Pogo stick dog...Hilarious...that you would even dare post some of those pictures of Jill...HILARIOUS. And I hear Dot screaming clear over here! I have to remember not to read your blog during a bout of asthma...I laughed so hard I started a coughing fit...and peed myself...it sucks getting old!

  • bj

    'mornin', Tiney...
    I have to come back over ever so often to look at these cute girls..and that little nekked one so reminds me of our twins when they were little. They live in the country and I'd drive out to see them (they were about 4 at this time) and I could see from a distance that they were out in their backyard, swinging, nekked as little jay birds. They shed their clothes every chance they got! They are 11 now (in the beach pic..on each side of little Deeds) and would still get that way if they could get by with it. Heaven help us when they start dating! GOOD GRIEF!!
    That red/white Penney's quilt...Tina at Cherry Hill has one..Penny at Comforts of Home, me and my daughter in law liked it so well, she ordered one, too! They really are pretty and you can order it on line...
    I actually like it better than any quilts I have (except for my mom's).....sooo...go get you one!!
    Will make you feel good !!

  • Rena

    Great post -- loved the video of the dogs!

  • Grand Pooba

    Oh my gosh, nudity and stupidity! Good thing they weren't coming from the same person!

  • mommynoodles

    Just found your blog through Picket's Place.Now I know who she is talking about w/ the farm.My word girl do you have a farm,it makes mine look like a trash pile compared to yours! lol Do you have a zoo yet though? lol I do! lol I read alot of posts back since I just found you and was cracking up! lol Y'all are crazy,but fun! You sounded like my sister and I when we talked.I was'nt happy until she passed out from laughing or peed herself! lol lol Yeah,I see that happens in your family as well! lol Well,i'm stalking you now,no,I mean following you now. lol Have a "BLESSED" rest of the week and holiday. Natalie,
    mommynoodles27@yahoo.com

  • Fragrant Liar

    Methinks Jill has been raiding my medicine cabinet. I got the good stuff.

    I would love it if my sister would visit me. She's in Phoenix and I'm in Austin, and we have a hard time getting our schedules to sync up.

    Great pictures. I love a good blog post with family pictures and play-by-plays.

  • SchmeckyGirl

    Great pics! LOL at Jill! Her Jillisms crack me up. For a second I thought you wrote you and Jill went in THAT pool! LMAO!

  • Life on Bonnie Lane

    You and Jill just crack me the hell up, lol. Makes me wish I had a sister!

    My youngest boy was always wanting to be naked. Even today at almost 17, he is always running around in his boxers. I swear, he would be naked in the house if I let him....but him being my kid, I really do not ever want to see his junk.

    Glad you and Jill and all the kids had so much fun!Pups too!

    Kady

  • Cathy

    You guys are so much fun..will you adopt me..I need fun sisters to hang with..

  • Jill

    OMG! You are so DEAD!!!!! How could you post those pics of me! DEAD I tell ya! DEAD!

  • Lavender Chick

    You are doing a really good job tempting me to go check out this farming stuff... The last thing I need is another distraction on the computer! Or worse, to have farming keep me from my farming.

    Oh - that scorpion, eeeewwwww!

  • Robin Costello (Delswife)

    LOL! You dared!

    Oh wow, did those pups grow fast. That video was great. I laughed - a lot.

  • Nikki via The Scarlett Rose Garden

    You guys are nuts. I'm in awe over Jill's boobs. Yah, I've seen 'em before. But wow.

    Scorpions? I would freak.