Sunday, January 11, 2009

Who Says Sex is the Only Way to Reach "It"? (Updated with coupon link!)

I had an epidermal orgasm today while in the shower. What? You've never heard of this phenomena? Well, neither had I until I experienced it first-hand, under the ministrations of my new Dove Skin Vitalizer.

  This bad boy not only cleanses and exfoliates, but for goodness sakes, it vibrates! Oh, the joy! While moving it around your face in circular sweeps, it develops a fantastic creamy foam that will have your eyeballs rolling back in your head.

I spent an inordinate amount of time massaging my face with this gift from the beauty gods, pressing just so, going round and round while the creamy foam coated my face and tickled my senses with its light scent. As the hot water pounded down upon my skin, I found myself in a frenzy of tingling sensations, intensifying with each circular sweep across my skin.

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to stop. But no, I could not stop. Just a little bit more. Just. A. Little. Bit. Morrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre. Oh! Oh! YES!!!!!!!

Oh! Oh! NO!!!!! Just when I thought I had reached peak epidermal nirvana, all that creamy dreamy foam oozed into my eyes! For the love of all that vibrates, can I never win?

Did I mention that my toothbrush also vibrates? Unfortunately my teeth and gums do not experience that rosy glow of ecstasy that I was hoping for.

Ooh, looky what Gigi just found! Here's a link to get a 3.50 coupon for the Vitalizer!

Until Next Time, Tiney

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