Monday, November 24, 2008

Wireless Woes

Disclaimer: In order not to be sued, the name of the following company has been changed slightly.

Dear Smellkin,

I understand that your company claims to make quality wireless products, and that you have an award winning technical support team. I hope you don’t mind if my opinion differs from that of Smellkin.

After countless hours on the phone with several different technical support “specialists”, my problem is still not solved. Not only that, but my ankles are swelled up like friggin’ balloons from sitting in one spot for so long while you very patiently went over every single procedure in your handbook. Five times.

And I do understand about American jobs getting displaced to other countries like India, but could you please keep in mind when I call that you need to speak slowly and clearly so that I don’t have to strain brain cells just to understand? It’s not your fault… I think Indian accents are beautiful. I just can’t understand them. But hey, I can’t understand a thick Italian accent, and I’m Italian!

Anyway, we have removed and re-added wireless networks umpteen times. We have changed IP addresses. We have reconfigured this, and reconfigured that, and still I can’t get online wirelessly.

Do you realize what this means, Smellkin? It means that in order to check my email, I have to trudge my fat ass up 17 steps in order to get to the router so I can plug into it. It means I have to sit upstairs, all by myself, feeling completely lonely and alone. It means I can’t check my email 200 times a day, like usual (although in retrospect if I did this, I’d probably lose a ton of weight going up and down those 17 steps), and I can’t even enjoy reading blogs!

You see, Smellkin, I like sitting outside while blogging, but now, because of you, your inferior products, and your ineptitude, I am unable to do that. You’ve taken away my wireless freedom.

I curse the day your company was born. May all your hard drives burn in H-E-double hockey sticks!

From the table of my outside patio, and composed in Word,
Sincerely yours,


26 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Mama

    Well you told them didnt you!!!!!, sorry I am laughing, ROFLaughing in fact, I know it is not funny. god how I know it is not funny, but YOU Justine ARE FUNNY,................hello..... hello.... what's that...... it's going all crackly..........I think the wireless connection is broken..................hello hehe, and I still cant see see the elves??.
    You go for them girl, hockey sticks n all!!!. Kathy

  • Ma'dame French

    This must be the same company I am dealing because I have also been having similar issues and it's making me mad! I like my little spot in the garage and hate being upstairs in my office all alone~~I truly feel your pain and on top of that blogger is screwing up and not posting my new posts either despite changing the time a million times (re Blogge'ville)! I am about to pull my hair out over here! French xoxoxo

  • jill jill bo bill

    There is a special place in hell for Smellkin. Fight next to Smuniden wireless phones.

  • Shelia

    Poor poor Justiney! I'm so sorry!! Puter problems are the worse!! Hope you'll get it resolved so soon!!
    Now, come by and read my Gollum story!!
    I have a funny for you...I started to add my story and all my typing turned to Arabic looking symbols!! I didn't know what to do. I went to the blog dashboard and flipped and flopped and found out somehow I had enabled the translater thingy to another language! Is that crazy or what? I put it directly back to English and disabled the sucker. Wonder how that happened?
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  • Anonymous

    Man, how can you have a sense of humor with that situation. I'd want to go turn somebodies chair over, with them in it. Screw with my computer at your own risk. LOL
    Go buy another brand, I say.

    Love Ya,

  • squawmama

    Woo Hoo... You really told them... and like we didn't know who they are...LOL LOL... You forgot to mention your huge following that will not use their product either...Sorry you’re having such a hard time... That's really a PITA when you have computer problems...Makes me think what did we do BC??? (before computers)... Hope your day gets better...


  • Buffie

    LOL! Way to go! You tell 'em Tiney!!! I'm feeeelin' for ya girl!

    Buffie :)

  • tardevil

    I'm soooooooooooooooooo feeling your pain. For the last month, I've had the same problem. It's still not right, but I don't have to be tied down to the modem. And let's just say a company called "stinksys" is not much better. Funny how one day they could help me, and the next day when they still hadn't fixed my problem, my warranty had expired. Now, we're on a new router (#2)...let's just call it "debtgear". Best of luck!

  • Nikki via The Scarlett Rose Garden

    LOL! Well girl, I hope you get the issue straightened out one way or another!

    My.... that's quite the story you wrote! I couldn't help but think of warm apple pie... er, I mean cobbler. LOL!

    I quite enjoyed your tissue/hankie post. Rehydrated boogs, ROFL!!! Funny too, as I just hung up some of my prettier ones for decoration.

  • NurseChessie

    you forgot to mention that you can't smoke while upstairs reading emails.

  • Tootsie

    may I just ask....could you plug the router in downstairs instead of upstairs? ours can be moved around....just a thought...HOWEVER that is not the point...the crap they make should be in good working order or they should be sending one of their puppets to fix it! this has been going on long enough...I just went 10 rounds with mr fantastic...would you like me to phone these people on your behalf? lol
    I hope you get something fixed up soon!

  • Raxx - A day in the life

    Wait!, you have to call India too? hee hee me too! those guys are a hoot!

  • Rachelle

    Hope you get your computer problems figured out. I had a run down with what I'll call the XBox 3Stinky company a few weeks ago. Let's just say I won and I won't comment further. ;o)

  • Sue

    I've been trying to remember what I used to do with my life BC!! Tiney I had problems with my connection for months and had 2 guys here, countless hours on the phone talking to India and Mexico, til I had a nerd come and tell me my phone wire was too long, it was 150 feet and shouldn't be more than 12 feet LOLOLOL!!!!!!! Pissed???? yeah I was Pissed!!!!! I was gonna go wireless, maybe I shouldn't.....

  • James

    I hate everyone at Smellkin and I also hate their whole families. So, I showed them.

  • Rhea

    Your wireless woos wound me.

  • Terrie's Lil' Piece of Serenity

    Justine, I just came by to check out your blog. I love your Christmas Blog. It is a shame that so much of our customer service (if that's what you call it) in done in India. I can never understand them. I hope you get the problems fixed.

  • Jill

    lmao!! poor you!! now you have to find out about what Jimmy mentioned to see if it even Shmelkins fault...

  • Stephanie

    Um, so the mysterious "James" up there? Totally me. I hacked into his account. And by "hacked" I mean "sat down at his computer and forgot to sign him out and myself in".

  • Anonymous

    What does smellkin stand for?

    And I totally hear your plight too. My wireless works just fine but my laptop battery is trashed and I HAVE to have it plugged in to work.

    I think I'll rant too. But I'll change the name so I don't get sued.

    Damn you flugs! Damn you!

  • tam

    AMEN Sister! LoL! I can relate-been there!

  • Bridget

    Oh no! Those dirty buggers! Maybe they just need to send you a new (not defective) unit!

  • Elizabeth

    Stopping in to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! Sorry I haven't been by lately, my weirdo eyes can't read the black on the red, but I'll keep checking in!

  • nikkicrumpet should really send this to them!!!

  • Naz

    Compter issues not withstanding... May you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

  • Anonymous

    I have two computer boffins as BIL's and even they can't sort out half our computer problems.

    Mine is on a go slow and really irritating. Hubby says it's because of all the crap sites I go on (I'm sure he desn't mean yours!)picking up spam and god knows what.

    It's booked in for a 'service' with him this weekend which normally means I lose half my stuff!

    Hey Ho, we'd only find smething else to moan about!