Tuesday, June 1, 2010

She Ate It

I'm here, yet I'm not here and it's driving me bonkers.  I don't know why I suddenly stopped wanting to read blogs or write my own, but it has surely happened.  I tell you what, it had better be temporary because this blog of mine has been such a creative and emotional outlet for so long that it's become a part of me.

I guess I'm just a flake, eh?

Anyhoodle, it's been a long time since you all have gotten a Strudel the Destructo Dog update.  If you remember back quite a few months ago I told you I had a box in the closet where I was throwing all of the things Strudel was eating so I could prove to you that yes, she eats everything.

But like so many other things, after a week or so I kind of forgot the box was there, so what I do have now is nothing compared to the real thing.

I give to you, the contents of The Strudel Box, Dum Dum Dum!!

A mish-mosh of many different mangled household and even doggie items.


A $400 cell phone...
This used to be Madison's friend, Jordan's, flip-flop.

Note to self:  Buy Jordan new flip-flops.

All that is left of my Crocs... just a chewed-up strap.  Oh and a pencil.  Strudel loves pencils!

She also loves paper of any kind.  Paper plates, magazines, textbooks, etc.

Most dogs love to play with tennis balls.  Strudel prefers to eat them.

A dog toy isn't really worth her time unless she can rip it apart.

So yeah, anyone want a golden retriever?

I wish I had a picture of what she did to me last night.  She was upset that I took a paper towel roll away from her... I mean come on, she was having a great time shredding it, right?  So, as soon as I turned my back she bit my ass!!!  

Ten minutes later I went to feel the spot because it was stinging.  Blood.  I was bleeding all over my nightgown from an ass bite!

I then had to stick my tail between my legs and ask Jimmy to apply a bandage.

To my ass.

I'm wondering when, nay, if, Strudel is going to grow out of this biting thing.  I mean I know I'm quite hairy, but not so much that she'd mistake my hair for dog fur.  Why must she "play" with all of us as if we're part of her pack?

Stru, get the message... I am the alpha bitch in this house.  Get it?

Don't fool yourself into thinking this redeems your less than stellar behavior.

17 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Jill

    Whoa boy! I would have accidentally on purpose left the door open so she could run away!

    Yikes.....that is a lot of destruction.

    Good luck with that!

    p.s. does Jill still have Cannoli?

  • blueviolet

    She doesn't just toy with things, she seriously DESTROYS them! And she has expensive taste. Doggone her!

  • Gucci Mama

    Justine! My love! I'm so excited to see you here!

    I think I would have had a really nice dog fur rug if my dog bit me in the ass sufficiently enough that I had to ask my husband to apply a bandage to my ass. But you're more of an animal lover than I.


  • Jason, as himself

    Oh, wow, this is a LOT of stuff! I think you have about two more years left!

    Don't worry about your writing and reading funk. It happens to the all of us. The test of whether you're a TRUE blogger or not will be if you come back to it, or if you let it die like so many blogs I've seen come and go.

    I think you're a TRUE blogger. You're just taking a break.


  • As Cape Cod Turns

    Maybe Strudel is teething?

    Damn, that dog can chew! My dog used to chew the siding on the wall and I put hot pepper on double sided tape. It did the trick.

    You might need a dog whisperer.

  • Sara's Sweet Surprise

    Hey J~Stru certainly has an expensive taste for her chew toys.
    This "can't" be good when all these objects make their exit.
    Hopefully when she grow up she'll lose the taste for chewing on you or your belongings.


  • Cole

    Meadow helped me read your post...and we aren't sure whether to be horrified or impressed!

    I hope Stru grows out of destroying all these toys...or at least biting your ASS!!

  • Shari @ My Cottage of Bliss

    Oh boy, after what we went through last week with our dog, Bo, this post struck a little too close to home and made me very, very worried for you and Strudel. If you have a minute, go check out my most recent post about what can happen when dogs eat things they aren't suppose to.

    I'm also thinking you might want to check into getting pet "health insurance"...just in case. (Wish I had it!)

  • Shelia

    Justiney!! I've missed you! You little stinker, well, I guess Stredel is the stinker! Bad dog bad dog! Isn't there some kind of spray that can be used for biting and chewing? Good luck with the doggy discipline!
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  • Susie Q

    She WILl grow out of it, I swear! Our first doggie, Mandy, did this too and she stopped. My doggie *niece* casy used to be so bad at chewing anything and everything, also grew out of it! Just hold on!
    She is so adorable...you can't stay TOO mad at her for long can you?? : )
    I know this feeling about blogging...it happens...then you get a bug to read and write...then get lax again. It is just the normal cycle I guess!

  • Heather

    I am feeling really lucky right about now that my own Golden just acts like a crack addict until she gets something IN her mouth - she doesn't have to eat it.
    That is an impressive display of half eaten stuff.
    AND your butt. Wow.

    Nice to meet you!

  • Pedaling

    ha- we have one of those, too.

    we call her kota.

    she ate our sprinkler system.
    a couch and a table.

    she's almost 2 and is beginning to be a good dog now.

  • Irritatingly Optimistic

    Maybe she thought you were a squeaky toy?

    We have pet correctors here, a little compressed air cannister that makes them jump when used. Have you tried putting things she likes near her and when she goes to pick it up or chew it make a noise that interrupts her? A small tin with a few coins in dropped on the floor is good and normally only takes a few goes before they get the point.

    But after all, she is a retriever and maybe she just thinks its her job?

  • Ginger

    I'm not into blogging much either. Just lost interest. But I still love reading yours.
    Bad, bad dog. As your uncle David would say, Have you gotten rid of that dog yet?
    I stopped by to see if you posted anything about Jill. Saw on FB she was having some surgery today. Was that the oral surgery she talked about?

  • Tabby

    That dog is a chewing machine! I would buy her a muzzle or get yourself another job to replace all the stuff she eats. But when you look at her picture she is so adorable. Your poor ass...LMAO sorry but it is a little funny. I am taking a hiatus from blogging, but will some day return, I sure hope you stick around too :)

  • wendy

    Hey Justine, I feel a little bit of bloggy funk going on too. Then I worry that if I don't keep it up, I'll loose readers. Oh wel------

    Bit your ass -----holy crap. How come you didn't put that picture up (tee,hee)
    and you might want to buy that dog a muzzle

  • AndreaLeigh

    devil dog! :) just kidding, she is a cutie.