Stupid Is As Sister Does: bulging eyes

I don't know about you, but when I was a kid I lived for summers and really disliked school. I would say I hated it, but that would be a bit harsh. I also happened to be the lucky recipient of some really scary-mean teachers. Kindergarten was Mrs. Lahomadou and boy was she a witch! Okay, I probably shouldn't be saying that, as she was old as dirt when I had her, so she's surely on the other side now. She was still mean though. Neener neener!

She actually looked quite a bit like this lady.

First grade was better when I had Mrs. Martin. She was pretty, young, and had long, shiny, flowing blonde hair. I remember her as being nice, but I also recall that when she did get mad her extremely thin lips would turn white and pucker up into this wrinkled circle. Looking back now, I can only compare her pucker face to an asshole. No, not Jimmy! A real asshole!

Kinda like this

I seem to have totally forgotten second grade. Wow, how the hell did that happen?

Third grade was even worse than kindergarten. I had Mrs. Pressman. Oh boy, royal bitch! She had these incredibly bulgy eyes and when she got mad, which was often, they'd bulge to such a degree you'd think they'd just pop out, hanging on a thread of muscular tissue. Once again, I can look back now and figure the poor woman probably had Grave's disease, thus the protruding eyes. She was still a total bitch nevertheless.

Very similar to this. Egads, that IS scary!

Don't worry, I'm not going to lead you through my entire school career, year by year, teacher by teacher. I'm mean, but not completely cruel ya know. All of this was just to lead up to the fact that...

My girls both love school!

What the hell is up with that anyway?

Last year's 6th grade curriculum kicked Mikayla's ass. She's in what they call pre-AP classes, which are advanced and start teaching the kids proper study habits and such for high school. She struggled the whole year academically, but still? She loves school! She loves learning. She loves (Gasp, spit, hiss, boo!) math!!! This cannot be my child.

Madison, now in 3rd grade, is in her third year of the laptop program. Each day she not only carries her backpack on the bus, but also her big honkin' Mac laptop. This kid can surf the web with the best of them and do PowerPoint presentations in her sleep.

Although Madison lacks even an ounce of common sense, she is wicked smart and adores learning. Animals are her specialty and if this child does not grow up to be a veterinarian I will be totally surprised.

This past Monday my girls started back to school. First off was Mikayla. Her bus picks her up at the ungodly hour of 7:00 a.m. Are they friggin' kidding me? Notice it's just getting light out as we leave for the bus stop.

The kid is a total peanut, but man, those legs go on forever, don't they?

I love embarrassing her at the bus stop. It's what I do people, and I'm damn good at it! Each day, just as she's about to slam the car door, in a very loud and silly voice, I yell, "Baaaaahhheee!" That's "bye" in Tiney-speak.

Next up was Madison, whose bus comes at a more agreeable time of 8:03. Notice how she clipped her bangs back. This is because Mommy forgot to get her a bang trim before school started. She did get one that very night though. Madison refused to let me fix her hair pretty. Geesh, the independence!

Bye bye baby! Have a great day!

When she was getting on the bus, I actually held my breath watching her try to pull herself and the weight of all she was carrying up those steep steps. She did it!

So, another school year has started and to me that means cool weather. So where the hell is it? Why must I live in this sub-tropical climate where the air is as thick as pea soup? Where is my autumn? Where are my pretty colored leaves? Where is my snow and frostbitten fingers? Damn La Florida!!!

So off they went on their merry way, and so did I.

Right back to bed!