Fragmented Friday

Since I've just got more random stuff to tell you, I figured I'd join Friday Fragments, hosted at Half Past Kissing Time, and which I found on my blogger bud, Yaya's, blog. Her Friday Fragments posts are always my favorite to read because you just never know what this chick is going to tell you. Her TMIFYI's (Too much information, for your information) are the BEST!

I have Blogger's Butt. Farmer's Fanny. Email Erump. I think I my have Posterior Pimples from all of the above.

Incidentally, I am not the only one with ass issues.

Meet my new garden frog, Fred.

He's super cute, right? And yes, I do realize he's sitting in a very feminine position, but I refuse to have a female frog gracing my flower table. All critters are boys for me, unless they're my pet, then they must be a girl. Don't ask, 'cause I don't know.

So anyway, Fred is a little on the fem side, so I've decided he's my gay garden frog. What? Don't look at me like that! Love is never wrong, even for amphibians!

But Fred has other problems. Mainly that he's got an ass crack. Have you ever seen a real frog with a crack? No? Well that's because frogs don't have butt cracks!

But Fred does. Just another reason why I've decided he's my gay garden frog.



TMIFYI (Too much information, for your information) Sorry Yaya, it's too good not to copy.

The other day while showering, I thought I'd dropped the soap, but didn't hear it hit the floor of the shower. I looked around but it wasn't there. I found the soap stuck under my boob! Yep, you know your knockers are ginormous when you can hide cleaning products under them.


Bitch of the week

This may be a new weekly thing for me. Ya know, highlight just one individual who's shown signs of a bitchy side you never knew was there.

This week's honoree? Nikki Crumpet! Yeah, you read that right. Our very own, highly respected, highly regarded and highly loved Nikki has shown signs of being a closet bitch! Why? I'll give you one word: Nepotism. She practices it. Do you know how many harvesting and plowing jobs I, Sweet Lil' Tater, have thrown her way? Hell, I've put thousands of coins in this woman's coffers. But guess what? I can't get her to hire me anymore! Why? Because she has to give all of her work to her daughter, Lindsey. NEPOTISMIST!!!!!! That's got to be one of the worst "ist's" there is!


Stoopid Funny

Ooh, I hope these two girls don't kill me for this, but it just cracked me up so completely that I have to share.

What is you call it when someone follows you, watches you, obsesses over you? Stalking, correct? Well, two of my most favorite blogger buds both referred to this on their posts, on the same day, as... STOCKING! To both Pooba and Donna, I'm so very sorry, but today you've received the Stoopid Funny award!

Aw, don't look at me like that girls! You're both so cute and funny and you know I love ya to death. But it's things like "stocking/stalking" that just make my day! Oh, that and pointing it out to all my readers, and posting pictures of the guilty parties.

The oh-so-lovely Donna

The oh-so-sexy Kelly

I think I had more to write about, but at this point, it might be best to cut my losses and run for the hills. 'Cause Donna is currently in Florida, traveling around in Tassie and could easily drive over here and kick my ass. And Kelly? Well, she's a self-proclaimed giant and she might stomp from Utah to here like Godzilla and kick my ass. Nikki? I'm not afraid of her, or her two little dogs! She can just kiss my ass!

POOF, I'm gone!





Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

Discombobulated

Well hello there my fine bloggy friends! Sorry for my relative absence, but you know how it is, so much farming to do, so little time.

Anyway, not too much going on here, just some random crap running through my head that I figured I'd share with you.

Yesterday, Mikayla started marine camp, which will run this week through Thursday, and then the same next week. I have to have her at the bus pick-up point at 7 a.m., which doesn't make for a happy Justiney, but my girl loves this camp (she went last year too) and learns so much while having a great time. She'll be fishing on a boat, cast fishing, wind surfing, taking nature walks, kayaking, and who knows what else. And this year she'll be certified in CPR, which makes her happy because she's excited to start her babysitting career.

Madison and I are gearing up for our birthday next Tuesday. She'll be 8, I'll be (gasp) 39. We're celebrating hers and Alexa's birthdays this coming Sunday with a family picnic arranged by Jill at De Leon Springs. I cannot wait, as my brother and his family will be there, my parents, even some of my sister-in-law's cousins. It will be an all-day thing, with hanging out, eating and swimming in the icy cold water of the springs.

Here's a pic of the swimming area.

Jimmy has been wicked busy with work. Just a couple of months ago the 46 million dollar Starbucks project he was working on came to a close, after many months of hard work. Jimmy is Director of Project Engineering for his company, Stellar. He was in charge of overseeing the conception and fruition of Starbucks' newest "green" roasting plant in South Carolina. Starbucks, and hence, Stellar, have just gotten word that they're to receive some sort of construction/engineering award at a formal event we'll be attending on August 7th. Jimmy and two others will be accepting the award for Stellar. I don't know who the moron is that thought it was necessary for us to be picked up at our house in a stretch limo to drive one exit up the highway, but whatever!

This month he's completing a project for Pinnacle Foods in Tennessee. From July 1st, through August 5th, he'll have spent 24 days in TN. Ugh! Don't ask me what they're doing because I'm not quite sure. It may or may not have something to do with pizza.

And I? Haven't been doing much of anything! Just enjoying the long summer days with my kids home from school. Mikayla spent 10 days or so at Jill's house which gave me the opportunity to have time alone with Madison, which was nice. After the picnic on Sunday, Jill is taking Madison home with her for a week or so. We'll be apart on our birthday, but Madison doesn't much care as long as she's with aunt Jill!

Okay, now I want to show you something totally pathetic, k?
That is the inside of my wrist. Look closely to the left. Do you see that dark, dry-looking patch of skin? That is my Farmer's Callus!!!! I shit you not people. That is from where I rest my wrist against the table while I'm farming.

And speaking of the table, I got a new one. Well, it's new to me and it's in fabulous condition. Not quite my style, but for $150 I couldn't pass it up when I found it on Craig's List, especially since I was down to one patio chair.

Awww... look at my little baby computer!

And speaking of my miniature computer, I took this picture last week while Jill was here, basically because the difference in the three computer sizes cracked me up. Well, that and the fact that all three of us were sitting at the table and all three of us were online.
Okay, I do believe that's enough random bullshit to have put you to sleep, don't you agree? But I'll leave you with this short video. Zoe HATES Jill and Gianna. Have absolutely no clue why, but she's been known to jump off of high places to try to attack either one of them. She hisses, spits, and tries to claw their eyes out with the claws she doesn't have. She's bit Gianna several times.

Anyway, Zoe was outside with us and Jill wanted to see if she could get a rise out of her. This is basically play fighting because Jill was antagonizing her. Zoe's usual "attacks" are much worse than this.




Hope all of you have a fabulous week!



Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

Wowzio

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Uncle David's Mini Me

See this guy? He's my uncle David. Growing up, he and aunt Barbara were among my favorite people in the whole world. Still are to this day actually. Back in 1990, my family took the leap of moving from NY to FL, whereas aunt Barbara and uncle David took off to Utah. I think it was partially a matter of, well, our parents are gone (uncle David and dad's) so there's nothing holding us here anymore. My dad followed his dream of meeting Mickey Mouse and uncle David moved his business to the gorgeous mountains of Utah.

For me, this was a new phase of my life. One where Sunday dinners with all the family around were a thing of the past. Whereas I was excited to move to Florida and have a new beginning, I also mourned the loss of my close-knit Italian family. Things would never be the same again, I thought. And of course, I was right.

For a long time, aunt Barbara and uncle David made the trip to FL to spend Christmas with us, but now it's becoming more and more rare and literally breaks my heart. I miss them. I miss my cousins, my beloved Chessie, and her brother, David. And now they've both got spouses that I adore too!

Chessie, 2004

Chessie and her hubs, Michael

Cousin David and his baby, Scarlett

David's baby mama, Tajha.

This is part of the family that I love and miss every day. And I suppose it's human nature to take for granted that they'll always be there. And then you get a kick in the ass in the form of a phone call, this one from my aunt Barbara.

AB: Hi Justine, it's aunt Barbara (duh)

Me: Hi aunt Barbara! Is this important, or can I call you back? I'm poopin'.

AB: It's important.

Me: What's wrong?

AB: Your uncle is in the hospital. He had a renal carcinoma removed yesterday. But he's fine now!

Me: FLUSH

So yeah, as I sat there upon the potty aunt Barbara explained to me that uncle David had signs of a urinary tract infection just one too many times for comfort and forced him to see a urologist. And when I say forced, I mean forced. The man is horrified, terrified of doctors. Never ever goes. Being that aunt Barbara is an R.N. he just lets her take care of him, diagnose him, etc. Not very smart, but for many years it's worked. Until now.

A CAT scan showed an enormous tumor on his kidney which was deemed cancerous, but, miracle of all miracles, encapsulated. Meaning, it was just one tumor, sitting there all on its lonesome, without spreading anywhere. The fact that this tumor, which my brother suggests we name Mini Me, weighed in at 17 pounds, is nothing less than shocking.

So three days ago, uncle David was admitted to the hospital where his surgeon removed his kidney, renal gland, and Mini Me, leaving uncle David weighing 17 pounds less within hours. He was told that this type of tumor grows approximately 2 cm per year, so this sucker had been inside him, growing steadily, for 10 years at the least.

So far, he's been resting comfortably due to an epidural drip, but I do believe they were removing that today. Let the moaning and groaning commence!

Aunt Barbara had a suitcase packed, so she hasn't really left his side since the surgery. Chessie flew in from her home in OH last week and will remain there in Utah until next Wednesday. She's also an R.N. so is well equipped to help out with uncle David's recovery. Cousin David has been spending as much time with his dad as he can but I think he's a little freaked out by the whole hospital thing. Can't say I blame him.

Anyway, this whole post is basically a way to say, don't take for granted the people you have in your life, whether they live next door, or across the country. Don't let petty arguments and grudges pull you away from what's most important. The love of your family, the memories you've made with them, and the future you want to spend with them. Love them like there's no tomorrow, because really? There may not be.









Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

Wowzio

grab this · widgets