Saturday, May 8, 2010

This Mother's Day, I Celebrate You, My Children.

How to put in words the changes the two of you have brought to my life?

Once, long ago, I thought my heart could not expand enough to give you all the love you both deserved.

I was wrong.  It did expand.  First for you, Mikayla, my Sweet Pea.  It wasn't immediate as I always thought it would be, as I thought it should be.  Was it fear of the unknown and a sense of being overwhelmed that kept my heart from recognizing my love for you?

Then one day I awoke and put you to my breast like so many times before. 

And there it was.

My heart calling out to yours, filling so completely I knew I would never be the same.


How could I love you this much, yet have room in my heart for Madison?  My sweet Princess?

This time the fear of motherhood was less and I knew I would feel that overwhelming love at first sight.

I could not have known that the first time I saw you, you wouldn't be pink and healthy.

I could not have anticipated what I would feel when I heard the words, "Blue, seizures, NICU".

I could never have imagined the pain of them taking you away from me before I was even able to feel you against my skin.

At that moment, it felt like a part of me had died, my heart feeling as if it had collapsed in on itself.

But your persevered.  You overcame whatever it was that caused you such stress during your birth.

My love for you, Madison, and for you, Mikayla, has only grown stronger each and every day since you entered this world.

I never did need to worry about having enough love in my heart for the two of you.  
 
You both are my heart.



All My Love,

Mommy

20 "Sister" Lovin' Friends Said:

  • Sassy Pants Freckle Face

    AWE!!! <3
    <3

    Happy mama's Day!

  • Amy

    What a sweet post! Happy Mother's Day!

  • Chocolate Covered Daydreams

    I just adore your girls. They truly have a bond that shines through in their pictures. Have a happy Mother's Day Justine!

  • woman:confused

    Oh wow, I could have written your post! With my first, I felt so much like we didn't bond, until one day, while nursing... there it was. Then, with my second, I was detached... until she turned blue at her first feeding. I felt like someone had ripped my heart out!

    It's amazing what motherhood does to us, isn't it?! :D

    Your kids are lucky to have a mom like you - Happy Mother's Day!

  • blueviolet

    I love it, Justine!!! Nothing like a mama's love and yours just shines! Happy Mother's Day!

  • bj

    I hope your Mother's Day is one of the very best, dear one.
    love, bj

  • Sue

    Dang, it's only 8 am and I am crying!!! That was beautiful Justine! Those girls are so lucky to have you as their mom! Have a super day!

  • Jill

    Awwwwwwwwwwwww.........how sweet and totally touching! Happy Mother's Day Justine!!
    --Kiki

  • Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

    Awwwwwwww! I'm all misty eyed! What beautiful words for your beautiful daughters, Justine!

    Happy Mother's Day! :)

  • wendy

    That was so sweet. They are beautiful young ladies.
    I thought those very same things...when I was pregnant with my second, I thought, How can I have enough love because ALL my love is centered on this first child......BUT it grows and grows and expands to bursting.
    after 5 kids--------I've ballooned out pretty well. (tee,hee)

    There is not love like that of a moms for her children
    that's how I feel anyway

  • Shelia

    Oh, Justiney! I'm crying here reading your beautiful post! Your daughters are so precious and blessed to have a mommy who loves them so. I hope your Mother's Day was wonderful.
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  • Jenny

    Oh, you made me cry. This was beautiful Justine. You are amazing!

  • Gucci Mama

    I love this! It's so lovely and sweet! You rock. What an awesome mom. ;) Happy Mother's Day!

  • Amy

    Hope your Mother's day was special Tiney! Your girls are beautiful! Including the furry one. ;O)

  • santamaker

    They're the best gift we're ever given, aren't they?!? You're an awesome Mommy!

  • Mama Kat

    Awww look at you being all sweet and sentimental. Who'da thought you had it in you?

    Your girls are beautiful!!

  • Sophia

    Justiney....I hope you had the BEST mother's day ever! You so deserve it. :)

    What a beautifully written post to your beautiful children.

    Love you much! xo

  • Life with Kaishon

    This made me cry. You have the most lovely girls in the universe! I am so glad you get to be their Mommy!

  • Chris

    That's the sweetest thing I've heard yet. Those girls do love their Mommie.

    I haven't had internet in weeks and don't know if I'll have it where we are going next. we're on I-5 now so trying to catch up with stuff. We are driving through Seattle as I type.

    I am going to close my facebook account, I'm to far behind with it. i wsih I could give my pointa away. I have almost 6 million. Ok, you take care girl.

    Love Ya,
    Chris

  • Sara's Sweet Surprise

    J~this made me misty. It is amazing how are heart and love grew with each child. I hope someday Paul and I will be blessed with grand babies, when the love will grow even more.
    You are a gifted writer.
    G