I'm Dumber Than a 7th Grader

Hell, for that matter, I'm dumber than a 3rd grader.  At least when it comes to math.  I have never gotten numbers.  They're just too random for me, they don't tell a story.  Words are my thing.

To me, math is like dry toast.  Boring.  Unnecessary for the most part.  I mean, who needs unbuttered toast, and who needs Pi for goodness sakes?

But words?  Words are like a thick, juicy (but well done, please!) cheeseburger, piled with all the yummy, artery- clogging accessories it can fit between its buns.  Words you can savor and masticate until you reach complete satisfaction.  Numbers?  Ptooey!  I'm not putting that in my mouth!

And although I've always hated math and struggled through it, I kind of thought I had a semi-intelligent grasp on science.  Maybe I do, but apparently not on a 7th grade, Pre-AP, class level.

When Mikayla got home this afternoon she explained to me exactly how a thermometer works.  Okay, that one was easy to understand.  Would you like me to explain it to you? Ya know, just in case you're dumber than a 7th grader?

Nah, I'll skip it.

Because then she went on to explain why steam is much hotter and will give you a much more serious burn than boiling water.

I'll admit, that one was very hard to comprehend.  I mean, I'm pretty sure she was speaking English but then again, I could be wrong, because to me it all sounded like jkhagfdohrewoiuhfsdkajnapoiteh oiawheronfa oaweuif and that's why steam is hotter than boiling water.

I think she got a bit frustrated by my glassy-eyed stare because she threw her hands into the air and said, "How can I explain this in simple terms that you can understand?  Geez!  It's like I'm talking to a kindergarten student!"

Thanks for that note of encouragement, Bitchayla.  Way to make your mom feel like a raging moron.

What does this mean, blogger buds?  Do I need to go back to middle school and learn this stuff all over again?  If so, I'm moving to Canada under an alias, never to be found again. 

Maybe I'll become a mountie, eh?

 

Hey, I could rock that look!  If the outfit comes in a 3X anyway.

But come on... the curriculum has obviously changed exponentially (See?  I can do words!) since I was in school.  I'm right, right?

# of Joules (Jewels?  I like jewels!):

Q = (delta)T * M* Cp

What the hell IS that???

What is (delta)T if 22.75 of A1 is heated by 245.705?

I can't even read these damn notes, but I think the solution to the above is:  

(delta)T=12* Celsius

Dear God, you couldn't pay me to go back and learn this stuff. 

I believe I shall stick to the written word, whereas I can express my deepest emotion with superfluous, supercilious and exceedingly overdone sentences. 

That makes me happy.


Pssst! If you love me, you might love my stupid sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!