Sunday Scramble

• Bon Jovi.  I think I'm on overload here.  Ever since Jimmy announced tickets to the Circle concert on April 17th, Madison has lived, breathed and sung Bon Jovi.  Non-stop.  This morning Jimmy was kidding around with her, kind of talking in Bon Jovi lyrics code.  He'd say a random line in a song and Madison would always know the next.  Then he'd say, "Madison, who worked on the docks?"  She'd say, "Tommy.".  Jimmy would say, "Who is Tommy's girlfriend?"  Madison would say, "Gina!"

• At one point, Jimmy said, "Madison, Mommy says you're much too obsessed with Jon Bon Jovi and she thinks you need a therapist.  I found a great doctor to bring you to.  His name is Dr. Richie Sambora."  Madison says, "Nice try.  That's the guitarist!"

• Is this at all normal for an 8-year-old?

• The Bachelor.  He's sweet, he's romantic, he's hot hot hot.

 

• But if he doesn't discard this bimbo this week I just may lose all respect for him.

• Bitchayla strikes again.  This time, she desecrated my Robert Pattinson calendar.  

• I now have something tucked away in the hall closet to show definitive proof of how much stuff Strudel destroys and consumes in a month.  It's called, The Strudel Box:  Dum Dum Dum!!!  Yes, that is its name and it's quickly filling up.  At the end of the month I'll dump it and take pictures for all to see.  

• I think I may need a bigger box.

Case in point:

All that other stuff on the floor?  Clean laundry she decided looked better gracing the carpet rather than the laundry basket.

• You can be mad at her so often and for so many different things, but then you catch moments like this.

I will overlook the fact that A) she's not allowed on the couch and, B) she's also using MY blankie!

• Sinead!!!!  She came over yesterday!  Oh, it was so good to clap eyes on her after 8 years.  She came sans family, and her and I went out for a very late lunch, then I brought her into Publix to show her the glory that is my favorite supermarket.  She bought plungers and shit. It was awesome.

• It's really kind of bizarre how long we've been friends (35 years) and how long it's been since we've even lived in the same state, and how after an hour or so of being together it just went back to being comfortable and easy.

• Sinead does not like TV.  So much so that she does not allow cable in her house.  No, not extended cable.  BASIC cable.   Does this sound odd to anyone else, or is it just me and my whole family that think she's a bit nutso?

• I made her watch an episode of Ghost Hunters International.  I think she likey.  

• No pictures of Nade because she's a privacy freak and I want to respect that.  Well no, I don't want to, but I feel I have to for the sake of a life-long friendship.  

• Sinead called me this afternoon to thank me for yesterday.  Awwww... isn't that just so sweet?  But then?  She turned into the psycho velcro friend we both agreed we abhor!  It went something like this:  "When can I come over with all my boys?  Saturday?  Oh, you're busy then?  Are you sure?  How about Sunday?  HowAboutTodayRightNowWeCanBeInTheCarAndAtYourHouseIn30Minutes..."

• *crickets*

• Okay, so I exaggerate a tiny bit.  But like I told Sinead, I'm not used to having a close friend to make plans with.  I generally don't do plans.  I tell ya one thing, oldest and dearest friend or not, if she starts showing up unannounced I shall denounce her as my oldest and dearest and then skip town.  Sorry Nade. 

•  Mikayla pointed this out to me this week.  (days of the week):  MTWTFSS.

• Should I be proud?  Or scared, perhaps? 

• Jimmy is going to Puerto Rico on business on Monday.  Sonofabitch.

Favorite Bloggy Quote of the Week:

• This week comes to us via Shelley (Ooh shit, am I allowed to use your real name?) of ThatGirl Blogs.

"Even though TheTeen calls hamburger “carcass,” she wanted to help in the kitchen so she made dinner with me.  Sweet right?  Um, yeah, imagine making this dish with a Middle Schooler.  “How big do you want your balls, Mom? You’re going to brown the balls?  Gross!” Fits of giggles.  Snorting.  Doubling over.  She even found some innuendo in the “creamy” potatoes.  Sigh.  Thankfully, TheLittles a) will eat carcass and b) are too busy telling fart jokes to laugh at ball jokes."

I was so glad to find out I'm not the only one that makes inappropriate anatomy jokes with my child.

Now come on peeps, link up and join the fun!!!




Pssst! If you love me, you might love my stupid sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

Sunday Scramble

Here I am again, twisted and disconnected thoughts awaiting your perusal.  Let's get started, shall we?

• Thursday was Strudel's 1-year birthday!  We celebrated by doing... nothing.  According to Golden  owners far and wide, a  Golden Retriever stays in the puppy stage for a good 2 years.  Yay me. Not sure I can survive it.  This week?  She ate two pencils, my new-ish throw pillow, the new, $20 remote Jimmy just bought a couple weeks ago, another People magazine and a tennis ball. All dogs love tennis balls, right?  Well, Strudel loves them so much that she tears them into teeny tiny pieces. 

Gotta love this dog.  Or hate her.  I'll leave it up to you.

She looks so innocent, but I promise you, she's not.  In fact, she's not even allowed on the couch!

• Wednesday night I was running late to pick up the girls at CCD (religious education).  I was shoveling spaghetti in my face as quick as I could but even so only had time to eat half of it.  I quickly grabbed my purse and ran out the door.  Halfway there I realized I was wearing my slippers (okay, I'll be honest and say I pick them up wearing my slippers most of the time, and on purpose) and no bra.  Yes, no bra... with the DDs flappin' in the breeze.  I had to walk to their classrooms with my arms crossed over my chest. Not an easy feat considering my boob to arm- length ratio.

• Sinead and her family are here!!!  Not sure when I'll get to see her because they're in a kind of moving-from-Hawaii limbo.  They're here, but all their shit is somewhere on the Pacific ocean.  It could be a month or more before they have any furniture.   While on the phone with Nade yesterday she whined in my ear, "It's cold here!  I don't like it!  I want to go back to Hawaii!"  What a pussy.  This is Florida, she's from NY for cripe's sake, where we used to endure blizzards.  She's crying because it's 65 degrees. She may just wake up on Sunday and start sobbing when she realizes the high for the day is only supposed to be 56 degrees.  Bwaa haa haaaaaaaaaaaa!

• Do your tomatoes wear diapers?  Well, mine do.  But only the ugly ones.  I shit you not, I even took a picture for you. 

Why do they call these ugly tomatoes?  I don't think they're ugly at all.  Nice and red and with just a few puckery wrinkles.  To me, that just gives a tomato character. Sure, this one has a tiny bruise but it's not his fault... someone obviously mishandled him.  Poor thing.

So as I was saying, Publix always seems to have the ugly tomatoes in these foam diapers.  Can't for the life of me figure out why.  And isn't this discrimination against the Romas, the fresh-on-the-vines, the Beefsteaks, etc. etc.?  Why don't they get foam diapers?

• Okay, who here has read Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol?  This is so not my typical kind of read, but after hearing Jimmy nag me for months on end to read it, I either had to actually crack it open and give it a try, or take the book and bash him over the head with it.  Whereas I wish I could say I did the latter, I'm actually glad I did the former.  This book rocked my face off, as Amity would say.

And now I have him reading this series...

 

Frickin' awesome books, but I don't think he's ever read a book with actual sex scenes in it.  I may have traumatized him for life.  Goody!

 

• As I sit here out in my bitch cave in the absolutely freezing 61.5 degree weather, I can hear Mikayla inside, yelling at Jimmy.  She just said, "Daddy! Stop it with the popcorn now!  You're disgusting!"  Jimmy has this thing with eating the un-popped kernels and I can attest that the sound of him crunching them is, in fact, disgusting.

• And now, for my favorite bloggy quote of the week:

This one comes to you from my friend Recia, at The Crazy Train.  The reason this quote had me peeing my pants is because Mikayla just pulled this one on me a few weeks ago.

"If you are the spanking parent..you probably have good kids...but in some places it's frowned upon. CHILDREN KNOW THIS...who the hell told them? SO they might respond to their punishment with "I'll call CPS" and you can respond with..."well they'll have to find your body first" :)"

•  Note to Self:  Please remember Recia's come-back to that particular threat.

Now come on in and link up with Mr. MckLinky!!!  I'll love ya forever if you do!









Pssst! If you love me, you might love my stupid sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

Join Me For The Sunday Scramble

Well, here we go.  The first official Sunday Scramble meme.  I'm curious to see how many, if any, of you will join in with me!

As Pooba Would Say, "A Turrible Turrible, Mess

This past week Jason did a post on his kitchen's multiple junk drawers.  Yes, he actually blogged about that.  Even made it not too boring, in fact.  Which got me to thinking about my junk drawer and how much crap is probably in there.  I didn't catalog it as J did, but I did take a couple of pictures.  I'm just thankful that Jimmy got it in his head to organize it a bit a few weeks ago so it's not too turribly embarrassing.

My question is, do we really need all that crap?  I mean, I even see a fake flower boutineer.  Is that even close to how that's spelled?

WTF?

And while I'm at it, why did Blogger upgrade their editing program, only to take the spell-check out?  Does that make any damn sense to you?  I'll be honest and say I'm a pretty good speller, but come on, sometimes there are words that you just don't know how to spell.  I want my spell-check back!

Justine Is Awesome

Nope, not tooting my own horn here.  I'm talking about Justine Carrelli, the American Bandstand dancer from back in the 50s.  If you stopped by here last week you would have seen this post about how I came by the name Justine.

After finishing that post I searched hunted her down the web looking for any current information on Justine, and lo and behold, I found her.  She's a real estate agent in Las Vegas these days.  I sent her a quick email to tell her I was named after her and to my surprise, she responded the very next day.  I thought that was super sweet of her!  When I called my mom to tell her, do you know what the first thing she asked was?  "Is she fat?"  That's another WTF moment for sure.

Forever Friends

I haven't mentioned my oldest and dearest friend Sinead in quite a long time, but if you're a long-time follower you may remember hearing about her.  Friends from the ages of 3 and 4, we've stayed close all these years.  It's actually a little surprising because we haven't even lived in the same state for the past 15 years.

Sinead's hubby is Navy and they've moved quite a bit in the last 10 years or so.  California to Virginia, Virginia to Hawaii.  But now they're moving here to Florida!  And not just Florida, but to the Jacksonville area!  Holy crapola, for the first time in a decade and a half we'll be within driving distance of each other.  Well, her driving distance, not mine.   The panic disorder and all that.  I hope "Nade" isn't too camera shy because if she even dares to tell me I can't blog about her (with pictures) in the future, I'll just kill her.  Or write her off completely.  You hear that Nade???

Sinead and Justine, circa 1976?  Notice the smears on her face?  I don't think there was a day of her childhood where she wasn't sporting some kind of crap on her face and/or clothes.  Piggy.  Wow, that just made me remember Sinead's word for "pig" or "piggy".  It was pigro!  Weird.

Sinead and Justine, circa 1978 or '79?

I can't wait to sneak pictures of her with food smooshed on her face again!  Bwaaa haaa haaaa!

Just Pop It, Please!!!

For the past 2 or 3 months I've had this spot on my shoulder blade which itches almost constantly.  I'd rub it on door frames, I'd wiggle back and forth in bed to rub the sheets on it, but no matter what I've done I can't get rid of the itch.

It's a pimple!  It's an itty bitty, teeny tiny pimple and it's causing me the itchy-bitchiness from hell!  Why I didn't suspect a pimple from the get-go is beyond me, but there's a problem.  I can't reach the nasty little bugger.  The other night I threatened bodily harm to Jimmy if he didn't take my pimple popping implement to my back.  It took a bit of whining shouting, but I got him to do it.  He pressed and he pulled to no avail, causing me considerable pain while doing so.  He then said, "It's not a pimple!  It's a skin tag or something!  All I've done is make it bleed."

The next day I had Mikayla look at my back.  She said, "Daddy was picking at the wrong spot!  Here, lemme at it!"

Unfortunately, she was unable to get rid of it and now I'm stuck here waiting for another opportune moment to force ask Jimmy to give it another try.  Until then, I'm eternally itchy.

Word Twist

Do you have certain words that you always type incorrectly, no matter that you've typed that same word a millions times?  For many years I couldn't even type my own daughter's name properly.  Mikayla came out something like Miklalya or something.  And YouTube.  Holy crap, almost every time I put that into Google I type YouTubel.  Why does my ring finger insist on hitting that L?

Favorite Bloggy Quote of the Week

Brought to you by Jason, of The Jason Show, while explaining the health benefits of potatoes in any form:

Low in carbs, low in fat, low in calories, and packed with vitamins, minerals, calcium, anti-oxidants, protein, probiotics, lycopene, iron, omega-3s, folic acid, potassium, lithium, progesterone, testosterone, estrogen, podium, immodium, and fiber, potatoes just might be nature's most perfect food!

So, now it's your turn to link up your scrambled thoughts, if you choose.  If you choose not to, it's okay.  I won't cry or anything.  Sniff.  Sniff.  Really.  It's okay.  I'll still love you.  Sniff.  Sniff.





Pssst! If you love me, you might love my stupid sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

I've Come to Realize That...

I recently stole this from my friend Jason's blog, The Jason Show. I loved reading his answers so had to give it a whirl myself!

1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size … No matter how big will never ever compare proportion-wise to my ass.

2. I’ve come to realize that my job …. as a mom is generally thankless.

3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving … I don't even put the radio on most of the time. And, that I seem to have an inability to do the speed limit.

4. I’ve come to realize that I need … to try and make happiness for myself by myself, to compensate for what I don't have in my life.

5. I’ve come to realize that I have lost … the ability to love the one person I am expected to love.

6. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when … every. single. thing. I. do. is either questioned or disapproved of.

7. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk … I must be dreaming since I don't drink.

8. I’ve come to realize that money … can tear families apart when one party thinks another party owes it to them to dig them out of a hole.

9. I’ve come to realize that certain people … can make me smile just by mentioning their name.

10. I’ve come to realize that I’ll always … want something more. I guess I really am selfish.

11. I’ve come to realize that my siblings … are both amazing but in completely different ways. Life without them? Unthinkable.

12. I’ve come to realize that my mom … is not as strong as she used to be and it frightens me.

13. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone … is deemed edible by Strudel and is now sporting bite marks, cracks and a completely mangled battery cover.

14. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning … the only thing that got me out of bed was knowing the coffee was ready.

15. I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep … I prayed for many of my friends in need of prayer.

16. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking …That I want Jill to hold on to any happiness she can possibly grab and run with it. I love you sis and I'll always back you 100%!

17. I’ve come to realize that my dad … is softer of heart than he'd ever admit to. You can't be hard and cold on the inside and collect Mickey Mouse stuff. Just ain't possible.

18. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook … I can easily lay myself open to judgment and negativity, but I can just as easily read something precious and uplifting.

19. I’ve come to realize that today … I was just as lazy as I was yesterday.

20. I’ve come to realize that tonight … there's nothing to watch on TV. At least nothing I like.

21. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow … can either be a better day than today, or a worse day, but probably not just the same.

22. I’ve come to realize that I really want to … be free of inner demons.

23. I’ve come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is … YaYa

24. I’ve come to realize that life … may never be what I want it to be, but God knows better than me what I truly need.

25. I’ve come to realize that this weekend … is our annual block party and I'm really really hoping Jill and the girls will come, as usual.

26. I’ve come to realize that marriage … is not supposed to be this way.

27. I’ve come to realize that my friends … mean more to me than they could possibly know.

28. I’ve come to realize that this year … is nearly over and that in early 2010 my oldest friend, Sinead, is moving to Jacksonville! We haven't lived in the same state in 12+ years!

29. I’ve come to realize that my ex is … bald.

30. I’ve come to realize that maybe I should … probably censor some of the things I write about. But I can't. If I did, I wouldn't be being true to myself.

31. I’ve come to realize that I love … my girls and the beauty, the future they represent.

32. I’ve come to realize that I don’t understand … people who can be dishonest so easily.

33. I’ve come to realize my past … has shaped me into the person I am today and I'd like a re-do, please!

34. I’ve come to realize that parties … are just not my thing.

35. I’ve come to realize that I’m totally terrified … of puking. More terrified of that than dying. How's that for completely insane?

Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

What My Younger Self Thought

It took me by surprise when I was going through a box the other day and, at the bottom was stashed one of my old journal notebooks.  I thought they had all perished in our first rental house years ago when we had a leak in the closet.  How this one was spared I do not know, and how it has escaped my notice for more than 10 years puzzles me too.

Anyway, I’m going to share with you a few entries from way back then.

Jan 23, 1992

It’s hard to describe the kind of hurt I feel now that Jimmy has gone home.  (I lived in FL at the time and he was still in NY)  More than almost anything in the world I want to be with him.  When he’s here we eat together, sleep   together and are constantly with each other.  When he leaves, I’ve got no one to share my time with.  I need that.  We’re an engaged couple that can’t enjoy this time before we’re married.  We still have almost two years before then and I don’t want to spend it apart.  If only I could move back to NY for a while to be with him; I’d be so much happier.  Unfortunately that’s just not a possibility.

I really can’t write more now—I hurt too much.

June 24, 1992

I’m now working at the Marriott (I’d moved from FL to NY and was living at Jimmy’s house, while he was living in the college dorm) and for the most part I like it.  I’m a room service operator and I work both mornings from 6:00-3:00 and nights from 4:30-12 or 1:00 a.m.  The hours are tough but mostly everyone is nice.  I have a lot of responsibility and I’ve got a lot more to learn but I supposed I’ll get used to it in time.

Jimmy and I are having some problems now, so needless to say, I’m unhappy.  I try to discuss how I feel with him but it’s like talking to someone without a brain.  He either takes everything as criticism or he tries to reverse the blame.  I told him that I really think we need some counseling, but he says he doesn’t have a problem.  Well, if you ask me, if I have a problem then we both have a problem.  Unfortunately he doesn’t see things that way.  I’m seriously considering going back to Florida.  I’d rather be down there and unhappy than be here and unhappy.  I don’t know what to do.  Jimmy has changed so much in the last few years.  He doesn’t realize it yet, but he’s pushing me away from him.  When it reaches the point when I just give up, we’re both going to be very unhappy.

I love him more than anything but at times like this I hate him too.  I’m going to try again to talk to him even though at this point I know it’s totally useless.

Sept 17, 1992

School is really destroying Jimmy’s personality.  He’s very snotty and he’s even been yelling at me a lot.  I don’t know how to deal with it so I usually wind up crying.  Mrs. O thinks it’s awful that we’re arguing so much before we’re even married.

Jimmy just can’t seem to take the pressure of school plus handle our relationship.  He has to stay focused this year.  Especially this semester.  But he shouldn’t be neglecting “us” the way he is.  These next 9 months or so are going to be very hard on me.  After he graduates in May, some of the pressure will be alleviated (hopefully) but until then I’m on my own.  I don’t think I’ve mentioned yet what our wedding date is.  Oct. 2nd, ‘93.  (This changed)

October 25, 1992

Right now I’m on the phone with Sinead and we’re reading each other parts of our journals.  Hers is a lot more interesting than mine!  She just told me about the time she heard Kerry and Timmy F------.  Yuck!  Imagine all that blubber flying!  Eww!

She doesn’t write about a lot of personal stuff like orgasms.  She’s afraid that someone will find her journal.  Who cares, right?

Nov. 15, 1993

Here I am, a married woman.  I almost can’t believe it.  Everything went perfect on our wedding day.  Everyone said it was a perfect wedding.  Jimmy and I had the best time of our lives!

Maui was really incredible.  We couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful honeymoon.  Romantic too!  Being married is really great.  I hope we love this strong forever.

We have a new addition to our family.  A Siamese kitten named Stinky.  She’s a real cutie and we love her.

Well, not much time to write.  It’s late and my hubby awaits!

Feb. 6, 1994

Well, the honeymoon didn’t last long…

There was lots more in that particular entry, but I’ll spare you!  Let me just say that reading this one journal really brought back to me that the problems we have now actually started a long time before we even married.  If we weren’t dealing well with our relationship before the responsibility of marriage, Jimmy’s career and children, how the hell did we think we’d be any good at it after???

Okay, so this post was a bit on the depressing side, but hey, you know me.  I keep it real whether it’s happy, sad, or insane!  That’s just how Tiney rolls.  Here’s to hoping my next post is a lot more upbeat!

Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!