My, But Your ( o ) V ( o ) Are So Big!

Ah yes, large boobies.  Many of us have them.  Some of us actually enjoy having big ones.  Not me.  At least, not since nursing two children, at which time my girls deflated and starting pointing due south.

But few of us have the pleasure of owning ginormous globes such as my beloved sister, Jill, has.  I mean, these things are right up there with the 8 wonders of the world in my opinion.  Imagine if you will, a rack of such enormity that if you got to feeling a little front heavy, you could just cup your hand under one of the girls and flip it right over your shoulder.   Eyes behind your head?  Nah, boobs behind your back is much more impressive!

 Here Jill decorates her cleavage with a cherry tomato.

Okay, there's actually a reason for this post.  You see, a couple weeks ago Jill had her first mammogram.  For most of us, even those of us with fairly large ta-tas, the process is quick and uncomplicated.  We go in, get our tits squished in a few different positions and then leave.  Not so for Jill.

To get straight to the point, her boobs didn't fit in the machine.  At least, not all of each boob.  Jill says she was mortified but after hearing her detailed story it sounds more like her and the boob tech were having a titty party (get it?  pity party?  Titty party?) and laughing hysterically the whole time.

So with the help of a crane, the tech finally hefts one of Jill's bazoombas up on the little platform.  But as I said, the platform is not as large as Jill's splayed breast, even before the masher comes down.  So Jill did not have to pose in just a few awkward positions, but many, with the tech hefting and tugging Jill's globes hither and yon just to get pictures of one entire boob.


Jill, dingbat (but funny girl) that she is, said, "Gee, I thought the bigger the breasts, the easier the tests!"  Nyuck nyuck nyuck.

Then, trying to be helpful, she told the woman that she has little to no feeling in her boozamas (Sinead's word) so to feel free to yank and tug as much as necessary.  I used to have a picture that proved Jill's numbness in the booby area... a picture of her with a pin stuck through several thousand layers of skin, but she forced me to delete it.  She couldn't, however keep me from talking about it now, could she?

So, boob tech gets her girls in there, twisting and yanking to her heart's content, and then asks Jill, "Honey, do you see any fluid coming out of your nipple?"  To which Jill said, "How should I know?  My nipple is all the way over there!"

Finally, the whole ordeal was over and the tech said, "It may take longer than usual to get the results.  The lab guy is going to have to piece these films together to get one whole image."

I am so going with her for her next mammogram!!!

Don't forget to get your discombobulated posts ready for this week's Sunday Scramble!!!  Mr. MckLinky will be up and running late Saturday night!

Pssst! If you love me, you might love my stupid sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!