So, A Bunch of Italians and a Polack Went To the Zoo...

It is no secret that I love being surrounded by my family, but it's especially wonderful when I get to see my favorite aunt and uncle for the first time in nearly 5-1/2 years!

Twenty or more years ago the key family groups of Ferraras all moved from Long Island, seemingly at the same time.  Life was never the same after my paternal grandfather died, followed four years later by my beloved grandmother.  The ties that held us close together were broken and everyone was ready to start fresh somewhere new.  My brother and his family took off for Florida, then soon after, my parents, Jill and I joined them in the Sunshine State.  Aunt Barbara and Uncle David took off for to Utah, where Uncle David re-established his business in chemical sales (cleaning stuff?  Not even sure) in Salt Lake.

The last time we saw them was at my cousin David's wedding in Utah in 2004.  Way too much time was allowed to pass!

So imagine my glee when they announced they were coming down for a visit!! So yep, a couple of weeks ago Aunt Barbara and Uncle David (yes, the annoying one from Facebook) flew down to visit and stayed with us for four wonderful nights.  It was so amazing how within 30 seconds of being with them it was like time had stood still.  We went right back to our old rapport.  Even the kids latched on to them as if they'd only seen them last week.

I think I've mentioned before that Uncle David is a bit mental, just like the rest of us Ferraras.  We all have "conditions", "syndromes", "maladies", "disorders", "quirks" "phobias", "afflictions", and/or "dementia".

Are we not the coolest?

Anyhoodle, Uncle David is a bit of a freak about anything that goes into his mouth, moreso after losing a kidney and a 17 pound encapsulated cancerous tumor last year.

While he was here I learned the benefits of:

• Everything organic.  Gotta stay away from those horrible pesticides.
• 
  
• Not only brushing the dirt off the mushrooms, but washing them thoroughly because they're grown in flats of pure poop.
• 
  
• Washing all fruits with soap and water, even the ones where the skin or peel is not eaten, as in an orange.  Come on... those pesticides and such are now on your hands from peeling it and then you're going to eat the juicy insides with that crap on your digits.
• 
  
• Nitrite and nitrate-free hot dogs.  Sure, that funky chemical isn't in your food, but you have to cook all the hot dogs, and either eat them or throw them away because they don't have enough preservatives to even keep them frozen.
• 
  
• Fructose and cane juice is your friend.

• Whole milk is much better to use in my coffee, rather than the fat-free 1/2 and 1/2 that I love.  Look at the label!  They add corn syrup to that crap!

I tell ya what, while they were here my colon was in overdrive from all the organic granola and nuts I was snacking on.

Jill came over the second day of their visit and we had a great time just hanging out doing nothing.  I made a fairly fabulous dinner of chicken marsala that everyone devoured.

Upon Jill's arrival, she was promptly dispatched to bring Uncle David to Starbucks for his required afternoon latte.  Did I mention that one of Uncle David's afflictions is that he is unable to make his own cup of coffee, even after being shown exactly how to use the Keurig machine?  Uh huh, it's true.  He's actually too dumb  frickin' lazy to make his own coffee, so I spent much of my time as an unpaid barista.

The next day they wanted to go to the zoo.  Since I'd never been to the Jacksonville zoo and the weather was very warm, but not hot, I was excited to go.  We let the girls take a day off from school, and off we went with lunch and drinks packed in a cooler.

The zoo was beautiful but I was a little disturbed by how small some of the habitats are.  But, I still got some great shots of the fuzzbutts.

Okay, so these guys aren't fuzzy, but they sure are cute!

The animals were all so active because of the mild weather!

 Awwww... Madison found a baby bunny hiding in the mulch!

Look at how gorgeous this pair is!

 Girlfriend needed a drink...

 Check out this look she gave me!

 The giraffes were so beautiful.

 And the girls got to feed them!

This bird was so cool.  She led us down a path to the otter exhibit and then stood right next to me.  Aunt Barbara, having a fear of birds ever since their parrot, Rusty, bit her, kept scuffling away from my friend.

 "Barbara, does this carousel display make me look fat?"

 Madison brushed a cute little goat.

 Uncle David, resting in the sun.

This little guy was picking his nose and eating it.  From the look on his face I'd say it didn't taste very good.

It wasn't all fun and games while they were here.  There was also relaxation time, or what I like to call, "Aunt Barbara ignoring all the annoying people."

 See?  She's doing it again!  Uncle David looks to be contemplating the air quality.

One of the funniest things happened while I was taking a nap.  How could I miss something this good?  Thank goodness Aunt Barbara had the intelligence to grab the camera as soon as she heard screaming from outside.


"Barbara!  Help!!!!  The chair broke!  I can't get up!!!"

"It's like this.  I sat down, went to Facebook to take over Justine's account, and the chair bent over!"

"Look, I don't care if I was wrong to leave snarky updates on my niece's account.  Get me up and stop taking pictures!"

"Okay okay, I guess you're right and I do deserve the position I'm in.  Can you help me up now?"

"Oh, what have I ever done to be so forsaken?"

 "Okay!  I give up!  It's funny!  Really funny!  Can you help me up now so I can delete all of those pictures you just took?"

Did I mention that Uncle David lives just a few blocks away from my good friend, Pooba?  Good luck to ya Kelly, now that he knows exactly where you live!  And guess what Poo?  The aunt and uncle invited my girls to spend a week with them in July and I may just send them over to your house to decompress after spending hours in close proximity to my uncle. 


So there ya have it.  Most of our visit with Aunt Barbara and Uncle David.  I can't wait until they come back again!



No, really.  I'm serious!



Pssst! If you love me, you might love my stupid sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

Sunday Scramble 4-4-10

I cordially invite you to join me each week in the Sunday Scramble.  The SS gives you a chance to write down your scattered, random, or just plain stupid thoughts.  No rules apply here.  I give you permission to write anything that's on your mind, whether it makes sense or not!

I don't expect many people to link with the SS this week, it being Easter and all, but I decided to put up a quick post of my own anyway.  Gotta keep those scrambled thoughts sharp!

Please forgive me for not getting around to your blogs this past week.  Sometimes life gets in the way of the things we enjoy the most, and this has been one of those times.  If I've missed any important announcements or posts that you feel I must read to make your life complete, please let me know and I'll make a point of stopping by!


Okay, I'm stumped.  I don't think I have a damn thing to tell you about this weekend.


Oh wait!  I can tell you about the newest silly stupid thing Jill did.  That's always fun!

Earlier today she was at the bank in the drive-thru.  She took the container thingy out of the vacuum tube thingy, did what she had to do, and then hit Send.  Off the container goes through the tube, right into the capable hands of the bank teller.

But it didn't.  Get to the bank teller that is.  It never came out.  The teller looked up inside the tube, Jill tried to look from her position in the car.  The container was nowhere to be found.

Just.  Gone.

They're looking at each other through the bulletproof glass, both with puzzled expressions on their faces.

Finally, the teller decides to call the manager.

It was at that time that Jill glanced down.

You guessed it.  The container thingy was in her lap.

I shit you not!

She then proceeded to finish her transaction as she spoke on the phone with our dad.

Just one problem.

She was so involved in her conversation that she forgot she was idling in the drive-thru lane.

For like 5 full minutes.

When she finally realized where she was (does it sound to you like she was fit to be behind the wheel today?) and how long she'd been sitting there, she looked up to find that, thank goodness, no one was behind her.

And the teller was gone.

Probably went home for the day.  Ya know, while Jill just sat there in her vehicular phone booth.





A couple weeks ago while vacuuming, my vacuum shut itself off.  I thought maybe the plug had come out of the wall, but nope, it was in there securely.  The on/off switch is on the side and I hadn't been near any furniture that could have flipped it.  So of course I decided it was a ghost, and immediately started talking to said ghost.


When I put an update about this on Facebook, (because, ya know, Facebook is my entire life and if I didn't share every.damn.thing.I.do, my i-friends would feel desolate and incomplete.) my uncle said this:

"TOO MUCH DOG HAIR,vacuuums filters are clogged and motor will run hot and shut off due to thermocouple protection circuit.Get rid of that dog now!"

(I'm cringing at the spelling and punctuation there, by the way.)


To which our friend Cindy, replied:

"why does your uncle(?) hate that dog so much?....."

Do you have any idea how many people have asked me this very question?  So uncle David, why do you hate my dog so much?  You haven't even met her yet!

He doesn't hate my dog, peeps.  He's just trying to be funny.  Key word:  Trying.

When Strudel is calm she's a pure joy to be around.  Just look at her laying with Mikayla.

At least, I think that's Mikayla under there.

This week, Madison painted this at school.  It immediately made me think of Donna and Ralph and their Adventures with Tassie, as they've been in AZ, enjoying the saguaros in the desert.

Bitchayla strikes again!  What is it with her and her friend Kat, and their inability to leave my Robert Pattinson calendar alone???

Let's get serious for a moment.

In the nearly 2 years I've been blogging, I've been constantly surprised and amazed at the generosity and love that can be found through this platform.  I don't care that Jimmy refers to people I haven't met in person as "i-friends".  I-friends you may be, but I have felt your hugs, your prayers, your love, through the distance of many miles.


Through this venue we call blogging I have connected to others in ways that probably wouldn't be realistic if we'd first met face to face.  I have come to know and love men and women vastly different than me.  Reading their stories, sharing their lives through pictures and words, has given me the opportunity to get to know them at my own pace.  There are some that I cherish as a family member of the heart.

All of that was leading up to tell you that Stephanie, over at Mama Still Wears Gucci is one of those special people.  Sure, she likes everyone to think she's a stuck-up bad-ass, but really?  Underneath it all she's all gooey and squishy and lovable.

Okay, okay, I have to be totally honest.  Steph is a snob, and of the highest order.  But, she seems to wear that badge proudly and without apology. 

I think I may adore her more because of it.


You know that a few weeks ago we had to say goodbye to our sweet kitty, Poo.  It was devastating, but time is healing all of us and your comments and emails have meant the world to me.

And then last week I received a package from Steph.  She sent it just to cheer me up after losing Poo, to let me know she was thinking of me and hurting for me.

The picture is crap and doesn't do my goodies justice.  That's what you get for taking a picture at night with incandescent lighting.  But is that stuff sweet, or what?  It's a ceramic shoe with polka dots (BJ!!!), holding a sweet note pad and pen.  Then a book called How To Understand Women Through Their Cats.  I haven't yet cracked it open, but I know I'm going to enjoy it when I do!

And hellooooooo... every woman in mourning needs chocolate!  So, Steph obviously forgot I'm hypoglycemic and in sending the chocolate that I couldn't eat just made me more depressed.  Sigh.  It's okay, because Mikayla ate it all.

Okay.  I ate one piece.  I had to!  Come on, it's Ghiardelli for cripe's sakes!


Thank you, Steph, from the bottom of my heart!

Earlier this week, while having a discussion with Mikayla on forgiveness, she quoted one of Jesus's last statements while dying on the cross.

He said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they've done."

Simple, but so profound.  If Jesus could ask forgiveness of those who crucified him, why is it so hard for all of us to forgive people for much lesser sins against us?

I think that's something I'll pray for, for both me and all of you on this holy weekend.  The ability to forgive.

Happy Easter to all of you!



He Is Risen!!!






Pssst! If you love me, you might love my stupid sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

Sunday Scramble: 3-7-10

Welcome kids, to another edition of the Sunday Scramble!

I honestly don't have too much to write about this week.  Yeah, I do believe I just heard a whole bunch of you sigh in relief.  Okay, so I tend to be a little wordy at times.  Okay, most times.  Bite me, okay?

So, the other night at dinner, Strudel was sitting at my side like a good girl (why is she good at the times that most normal dogs are not?) and I said to Jimmy, "Your daughter needs to be fed."

Jimmy:  They're at the table eating right now!

Me:  No, your other daughter.  The furry one.

Jimmy:  She's not my daughter, she's my dog.

Me:  No, just a few weeks ago we were talking about her and you told me how you love her so much that she's like one of your kids.

Jimmy:   Well yeah, but not my daughter!

Madison:  Fine daddy, then she'll be your dogger!

What can I say?  The kid is quick.

Mikayla has a new favorite word.  Biffle.  Yes, you read that correctly, although really, it's just BFFL, an acronym for Best Friends For Life.  But I swear to you, it gives me the giggles every time she says, "Strudel, are you my biffle?"  "Mommy, you wanna be my biffle?"  I mean, say it a few times.  It's a funny word!

Jimmy traveled to San Francisco again this week.  The guys had some free time so took a drive over the Golden Gate bridge.

 

Bastard, right?

Yeah well, they got rear-ended at the end of the bridge, so it's all good now.

They even stopped at Muir Woods.  Remember this picture from my last post?

You guessed it.  That's Muir Woods.

Bastard, right?

So last night while driving through the neighborhood on my way back from the Hess station, I noticed an armadillo walking on the side of the road.  You know me.  I had to stop the car, roll down the window and stare at him.  But then the dumbass started walking toward my car.  I'm thinking, oh great, he's going to walk right under my car and then I'll be stuck here, in the middle of the road, until he decides to get his armored ass out the other side.  I do believe these critters are blind as bats.

But obviously not deaf, because as soon as I stuck my head out of the window and said, "Well hello, little 'dillo!" He took off for the golf course.

And that's the end of my 'dillo story.

Tuesday night I picked up some Chinese food for me and the girls.  I like my food pretty spicy, so the chick at the restaurant usually throws in one of those tiny containers of what they call hot and oily.  Just warm oil with red pepper flakes soaked in.

Well, I ate my dinner, never using the oil.  While I was straightening up the kitchen I heard something being chomped on.

Yeah, you guessed right.

Strudel ate it.

She not only lapped up all the oil but she ate every flake of hot red pepper too!  Stupid, idiotic, deranged dog.  Would you believe it didn't even give her the squirts?  If I'd eaten that much of the stuff (I just drizzle some on) I'd be pooping fire for days.

I now have definitive proof, that while men can sometimes be amusing, at the very core of it, they're, well, idiots.

Yay!  My Aunt Barbara and Uncle David are coming down here next month from Utah!  I'm soooo happy about it because I haven't seen them since 2004!  Some of you know of uncle David from Facebook.  He's the one always picking on me, calling me fat and unhealthy (in his own roundabout way) and telling me to get rid of that dog!  I honestly don't know why I love the man, much less even like him, but dammit, I do.  He kinda grows on you.  Sure, it's a growth similar to fungus, but still.  He's Mi Familia. (like that?  Too much Mafia Wars, I'm telling you.  You'd better just hope, for his sake, that next month I don't tell you that I iced him) 

Oh crap, he reads my blog.  He's going to be mad at me now.  Rut roh.  I'm in for it.  He'll probably write up a dissertation on nitrites and the evil of red meat and make me memorize it.  And, not only is he a reformed smoker but, he's also a reformed fatty.  Being that I'm non-reformed on both counts, can you imagine the constant lecturing I'm going to have to suffer through?

Okay my peeps, I obviously wasn't at much of a loss for words.  So I lied!  Bite me, k?

And when you're done taking a humongous bite of my hiney, leave a comment, then link up your scrambled post!  I love reading them!

Pssst! If you love me, you might love my stupid sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

Uncle David's Mini Me

See this guy? He's my uncle David. Growing up, he and aunt Barbara were among my favorite people in the whole world. Still are to this day actually. Back in 1990, my family took the leap of moving from NY to FL, whereas aunt Barbara and uncle David took off to Utah. I think it was partially a matter of, well, our parents are gone (uncle David and dad's) so there's nothing holding us here anymore. My dad followed his dream of meeting Mickey Mouse and uncle David moved his business to the gorgeous mountains of Utah.

For me, this was a new phase of my life. One where Sunday dinners with all the family around were a thing of the past. Whereas I was excited to move to Florida and have a new beginning, I also mourned the loss of my close-knit Italian family. Things would never be the same again, I thought. And of course, I was right.

For a long time, aunt Barbara and uncle David made the trip to FL to spend Christmas with us, but now it's becoming more and more rare and literally breaks my heart. I miss them. I miss my cousins, my beloved Chessie, and her brother, David. And now they've both got spouses that I adore too!

Chessie, 2004

Chessie and her hubs, Michael

Cousin David and his baby, Scarlett

David's baby mama, Tajha.

This is part of the family that I love and miss every day. And I suppose it's human nature to take for granted that they'll always be there. And then you get a kick in the ass in the form of a phone call, this one from my aunt Barbara.

AB: Hi Justine, it's aunt Barbara (duh)

Me: Hi aunt Barbara! Is this important, or can I call you back? I'm poopin'.

AB: It's important.

Me: What's wrong?

AB: Your uncle is in the hospital. He had a renal carcinoma removed yesterday. But he's fine now!

Me: FLUSH

So yeah, as I sat there upon the potty aunt Barbara explained to me that uncle David had signs of a urinary tract infection just one too many times for comfort and forced him to see a urologist. And when I say forced, I mean forced. The man is horrified, terrified of doctors. Never ever goes. Being that aunt Barbara is an R.N. he just lets her take care of him, diagnose him, etc. Not very smart, but for many years it's worked. Until now.

A CAT scan showed an enormous tumor on his kidney which was deemed cancerous, but, miracle of all miracles, encapsulated. Meaning, it was just one tumor, sitting there all on its lonesome, without spreading anywhere. The fact that this tumor, which my brother suggests we name Mini Me, weighed in at 17 pounds, is nothing less than shocking.

So three days ago, uncle David was admitted to the hospital where his surgeon removed his kidney, renal gland, and Mini Me, leaving uncle David weighing 17 pounds less within hours. He was told that this type of tumor grows approximately 2 cm per year, so this sucker had been inside him, growing steadily, for 10 years at the least.

So far, he's been resting comfortably due to an epidural drip, but I do believe they were removing that today. Let the moaning and groaning commence!

Aunt Barbara had a suitcase packed, so she hasn't really left his side since the surgery. Chessie flew in from her home in OH last week and will remain there in Utah until next Wednesday. She's also an R.N. so is well equipped to help out with uncle David's recovery. Cousin David has been spending as much time with his dad as he can but I think he's a little freaked out by the whole hospital thing. Can't say I blame him.

Anyway, this whole post is basically a way to say, don't take for granted the people you have in your life, whether they live next door, or across the country. Don't let petty arguments and grudges pull you away from what's most important. The love of your family, the memories you've made with them, and the future you want to spend with them. Love them like there's no tomorrow, because really? There may not be.









Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

Wowzio

grab this · widgets