My Burning Desire Wound Up Burning Like The Fiery Pits of Hell

In my youth I was an avid sunbather.   From the time I was a tween I have memories of laying on a lounge chair in my back yard with baby oil smeared from top to bottom.  I don't ever remember burning in my younger days, but instead turning this beautiful Italian-like nut-brown.




But for some reason, as soon as I hit the teenage years my skin changed, going from my old Italian olive- tone to sickly looking sallow.  I don't know how or why this happened, but it's the God's honest truth.




This, of course, did not change my desire for nutty-toned skin, so each summer I would lay myself out like a lizard to soak up the rays.



Who the hell thought of wrinkles and skin cancer back then?  Certainly not I!




In May of 1985 my boyfriend, Matt, and I went to the beach, even though the temperature was only in the mid 70s.  It was our first taste of summer that year and we were grasping it wholeheartedly.  So what if he was a redhead and could burn on a stormy day?  I was ready for some rays and off we went on his moped, me with a Stephen King book in hand.

Me and Matt, 1986, his Junior Prom

Damn that book was good.




And geez, the weather was so cool and delicious.  No need to go in the water.



In fact, no need to ever flip over to my other side because hey, it was only May, it was cool out, no way was I going to burn.



Matt told me many times that he thought I was turning a little pink and should turn over.




But my book was so good, I didn't want to put it down.  And hey, it's only May.  I won't burn!



Four hours later, Matt got very insistent with me, that I either needed to turn over or we'd have to go.  I was no longer pink, but a mean, dark red.




So I flipped over.
 


Big mistake.


BIG.



It immediately felt like I had laid my body down on a bed of hot coals.  I stood up quickly but holy shit, my skin now felt like Matt was holding a blow torch to my legs and back.



And back then, even my one-piece was quite skimpy so quite a bit of hiney was showing.  Previously very white hiney.

All I could think was, "Get me the hell out of this evil sunlight, NOW."




Let me tell you, sitting on a hot moped seat in this condition was not a good thing.  I've basically blanked out the entire drive to Matt's house, which is probably a good thing.




The next thing I remember is laying on my stomach on his bed, screaming and crying that my legs were on fire.  His mom standing over me not knowing what to do.  Finally, one of them had the idea to blow a fan directly on my legs.  Ahhhhhhh... that felt so damn good, but if someone even so much as stepped in front of the fan, blocking the air flow to my sizzling skin, I would once again scream and whimper.



Matt somehow got me home that day, where I proceeded to lay upon my bed, barely able to move for the next 3 days straight.  My mom had fans blowing on me constantly, and several times a day she would crack open an aloe leaf and spread that cool goodness all over me.  The pain of her touch was intense, but at least I got some temporary relief once she was done.




At one point, when Mom came in to spread the aloe, she said something like, "Justine, this isn't looking too good.  Your skin is turning purple and bubbling.




Purple???  Bubbling?  Like, little tiny bubbles?



Oh no, big, quarter-size bubbles.  That were purple.




It would be at this point that most parents would take their kid to the ER or something, but not my mom!  Nope, she'd just keep that aloe coming and I could just keep duck-walking to the bathroom because my skin was so tight I couldn't bend my legs.  I would eat laying down on my belly and just lay there being miserable.



After 3 days I would be forced to go to school for a few hours to take a final.



Standing up the entire time.




With gigantic, oozing bubbles on the back of my legs.




I won't even go into detail about what it was like when those bubbles started popping open.  I'll just tell you that there was wet skin flapping everywhere.




It was the worst burn I've ever seen a human being get from sunbathing, and if I sit here and really think about it, I can remember the pain like it was yesterday.




That was not my last bad burn, although, thank God, it was the last super bad burn.



I still rarely use sunscreen, but I also rarely lay out in the sun these days.




The best medicine for a major burn?  Definitely fresh aloe.




My best advice?  Don't lay out in the sun.  Or if you do, use sunscreen!


This post was inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, and the prompt:  "What was your medicine?  Write about a time you remember being ill." 



**Note to self:  Call dermatologist tomorrow and make appointment for a baseline examination.**

Random Crap Tuesday

Before I even really begin, I want to first take a moment to apologize for my horrendous blog reading and commenting this past week. A couple of posts ago, I told you of a new-found addiction. Facebook's Farm Town.

I wish I could tell you things were getting better, but this application has me in its grip. My neighbors are doing it, my Facebook friends are doing it, my sister is doing it, and (gasp) now my brother is giving it a whirl! It was stunning enough when I saw my bro on FB last week. He's just not the social networking type. But when he asked me to hook him up with a farm? I nearly crapped myself. My father actually showed an interest in having a farm too, but he said he would only raise dairy cows. Sorry dad, entirely different application.

I am so gripped in this damn game that I find it hard to fall asleep some nights, wondering if my crops are ready to harvest, imagining how I might change the layout of my farm. I dream about when I'll finally get 300,000 coins so I can buy a white farm house.

This is what my farm currently looks like. You can see the back of my farmer head there. Unfortunately, my computer screen is so tiny you can't see the entire farm in one shot.



I need help. Serious help. Do NOT help me. I'm untreatable at this point.

Speaking of my new computer, it's so adorable! It's like the VW Bug of laptops!



So anyway, it took some convincing, but I finally got Jill to come here this weekend with the girls. First, let me say that Alexa looks so much better right now. Obviously the poor kid was being poisoned with too many medications. For a long time she was no only too thin, in my opinion, but her face looked sunken-in. Within 2 weeks time though, she's put on a few pounds and the gaunt look is gone. Hooray! Not to mention that her behavior has done a 180.

Saturday, we did our usual thing. Ya know, eating out when we don't have the money and then shopping when again, we don't have the money. But we ate cheap. About as cheap as you can get. Golden Corral.

Oh yeah, this places oozes class.



There's just something about an unlimited buffet that both grosses me out and excites me to no end.

While we were out doing our thing, Jimmy was out doing his thing. Deep sea fishing. He got up at 3:00 in the morning so he and two of his coworkers/friends could get on a 28' boat and drive 80 miles out into the deep blue. A twenty-eight foot boat. Eighty miles out in the ocean. You'd have to pay me multiple millions to get my ass out on a boat the size of a dinghy just so I could catch fish. Shit, I can go to the fish market and I only have to drive 10 miles and, I don't even need Dramamine.

Okay, so it's a manly sport and I just don't get it. But it was a first-time experience for Jimmy and he enjoyed every minute of it.



There was probably enough testosterone on that boat to fuel the whole trip there and back.

At least he took in a decent haul. A few nice size Mahi Mahi, a few grouper (my favorite!), red snapper, and some other weird named fish I can't recall.


Sunday Jill insisted that we all trek to the local beach with the kids and the dogs. For this, I convinced Jimmy to come along. Jill wasn't impressed with the beach because it's on too much of a slope and the waves were just a teeny bit too big for her girls to enjoy. Mine on the other hand had a blast. Strudel, same as last time, hated the water. Cannoli wasn't nearly as enthralled by it as Jill always makes her out to be.

You're probably expecting pictures from our weekend together but sadly, I don't have any. Why? Because the happy fisherman took my camera without even telling me and then proceeded to leave it at his friend's house. He is officially never allowed to borrow a camera of mine again. The last time he did, it was on a business trip to Germany and he left it on the plane, never to be seen again. Next time? He can get himself a disposable Kodak.

But oh how I wish I'd had the camera, because after the beach Jill offered to bathe the dogs in the kiddie pool. Well, she was down on one knee, giving Strudel Doo a good scrubbing, when suddenly, Strudel tried to escape and Jill lost her balance. She fell face-forward into the pool, but no, her head didn't get wet, because her ginormous boobs hit the water first and acted as flotation devices. Oh my word, if only I had this on film for all of you. Video would have been perfect so you could see her flailing and yelling, "Help me! Help me!" I swear I nearly peed myself.

Over the weekend Jill said, no less than three times, "Can you plug her in for me?" In normal- person- English that would be, "Can you buckle her in for me?" These are the things Jill is famous for, and the things about her that make me adore her more and more every day. Don't you wish you had a stupid silly sister?







Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

It's the Ocean. What's Not to Love?

Well, if you're Strudel, the water is what's not to love.

Late yesterday afternoon we all took a drive to the beach to introduce Strudel to the sand and sea for the first time. The former? She loved. The latter? Not so much.






Don't worry, all of the videos will be short and sweet.



Here she is getting her first feel of the water.



Why do I get the feeling she was not impressed?





Now Golden Retrievers are known for being excellent duck hunters, hence, they love the water. Well, my Strudel obviously didn't get that particular gene. If we wanted her in the water, Jimmy had to carry her there and then plop her fuzzy ass in the surf.



I'm hoping that in time she'll learn to love the water. I'm also hoping we haven't scarred her fragile canine brain for life.







Nothing like seeing it live, right?



Now, my Strudely Doodley loves to run so Jimmy and Mikayla were having a blast with her. But look at how the poor spaz runs. Her legs are going every which-way. And also notice what she does the second she sees the water coming toward her.



We all had a good time, but the girls had an absolute blast. For a kid, I don't think there's anything like that first ocean swim of the season.

Madison looks a bit funky here, but that could be because she saw Strudel was about to pounce on her.



Geez, this one isn't a little kid anymore!








I hope you enjoyed this little trip to the ocean as much as we did. And I promise I'll try to write less posts about Strudel, and more about... well... something else.

P.S. Aren't you glad there was no poop mentioned in this post?

P.P.S. Strudel's poop is back to normal!




Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!