I Shaved My Legs For This?

Last week, Jimmy, as Director of Process Engineering and, his team of project managers and the VP of Process Engineering were to be given one of the ABC's (Associated Builders and Contractors, Inc) Excellence in Construction awards. Stellar had a huge part in the building and development of Starbucks' new "green" roasting plant in Sandy Run, SC. Starbucks was even granted an LEED Silver certificate for new construction. What does that mean? It means that the roasting plant was built primarily with eco-friendly products and will run with much less negative impact on the environment.

And because of this, I had to shave my legs.

Receiving an award means going to an awards dinner and getting all dressed up, something I don't really like to do. One, it's hard to find a dress that looks halfway decent when you're as big as I am, and two, finding shoes that won't render me a cripple is even harder to find.

I got super lucky in that I scored on the second dress I tried on in the first store I walked into. YES! I still looked as fat as ever, but at least it camouflaged a wealth of rolls and pits and dimples. Shoes I bought from Zappos, and I've got to say they've got the best customer service this side of Disney.

The fact that the shoes were instruments of horrendous torture is not the fault of Zappos, but instead the fault of my feet never being in anything more than flip flops, and more times than not, barefoot. Thus leading to the necessity of getting a pedicure so my big toe which would show through the peep-toed shoe would look halfway decent.

The pedicure was lovely, and of course administered by a man who either did not know much English, or just chose to make me believe so by nodding his head and smiling a lot, but not saying a word. Mikayla was with me and had her first pedi experience which she thoroughly enjoyed. I'm sure the two men tending to our footsies thought we were kind of demented with all the giggling and twittering we did over the very powerful massage chairs. At one point Mikayla put hers on the percussion setting and I thought for sure she would either bounce right out of the chair, or lose a toe to her mute technician. Good times!

Finally, Friday arrived and Jimmy flew in that morning after a 10 day business trip in TN. Yes, another big project, this one developing something or other for pizza dough-making. I heard lots of groaning and grunting about the dough balls dropping in the wrong place but tuned that out so I could prepare to actually leave my house looking like something other than the makeup-less, hair-akimbo slob I usually look like.

Here's the finished product. Do not adjust your screen. That actually is me looking halfway decent and smelling fresh. Oh, and without any stubble on my legs or pits.

It has been brought to my attention that having a huge, honkin' tattoo on the front of my leg is not exactly conducive to looking properly dressed up. I tend to agree, but I do love Jesse the frog. How could you not?

Picture courtesy of the artist, Jesse Britten's web page, Third Crow Tattoo.

Look! Makeup! Earrings! A necklace! Holy crap!

Wow, even got a picture of Jimmy and I together. He may look a bit peaked and bloated, but after 10 days of being in a hotel, eating at restaurants and drinking like a fish will do that to you. So will being up 30+ hours with no sleep, which he was at the time this picture was taken.

Seems my bangs were curling up with every passing second. Damned Florida humidity!

I'm going to make this part short and to the point. The cocktail hour was ridiculous. We had to sign in to receive one ticket per person for a free drink. After that, it was a cash bar. No appetizers. Not even a celery stick.

The hotel was nice, the centerpieces lovely.


The food sucked and the portions were more along the lines of an appetizer. Having worked in the hotel industry many years ago, I was not happy to see our slices of cake set on the table before we even entered the room. Very tacky if you ask me.

The service sucked ass too. It wasn't until I was nearly done with my dinner that a server came by to refill my water glass. By that time I had already drunk my whole glass, plus Jimmy's and was eyeballing Jerry's next.

I think Jimmy and Jerry are a very cute couple, don't you?

Jimmy, the director, Jerry the VP. Two pollacks in a pod.

Oh, did I mention this dinner was so boring I nearly nodded off in my 1/4- cup- size serving of luke- warm mashed potatoes? Yeah, see how you'd like sitting through at least 50 awards being given out and the subsequent speeches that came along with it. Torture!

$110 a pop and this is what I got? Thank goodness the money wasn't coming out of our pockets!

And speaking of torture. You already know I have a swelling problem, right? Well, this is what my feet looked like after 4 hours of sitting on my ass with the shoes off and hidden under the tablecloth.


I'll have you know that my feet started hurting about a millisecond after I slipped them inside the shoes. I had to walk around like a Geisha girl because my feet were cramping so bad.


Lovely shoes, not so lovely feet and ankles.


It's inhuman dammit! Oh, and those marks on my foot below? Skeeter bite scars! Oh yeah, the opposite big toenail can do major damage to a skeeter bite.

I was so happy when the last award was given out and the dinner was brought to a close. If not for the utter exhaustion of the whole team after their stint in TN I may have had to suffer through drinks at a nearby restaurant.

One last picture and we were gone!

Jerry, Jaime, holding the funky-looking eagle award, Jimmy, and Tony. Who is not in Jimmy's division but who also works for Stellar and won an architectural award.




I am so never doing this again!




Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

Discombobulated

Well hello there my fine bloggy friends! Sorry for my relative absence, but you know how it is, so much farming to do, so little time.

Anyway, not too much going on here, just some random crap running through my head that I figured I'd share with you.

Yesterday, Mikayla started marine camp, which will run this week through Thursday, and then the same next week. I have to have her at the bus pick-up point at 7 a.m., which doesn't make for a happy Justiney, but my girl loves this camp (she went last year too) and learns so much while having a great time. She'll be fishing on a boat, cast fishing, wind surfing, taking nature walks, kayaking, and who knows what else. And this year she'll be certified in CPR, which makes her happy because she's excited to start her babysitting career.

Madison and I are gearing up for our birthday next Tuesday. She'll be 8, I'll be (gasp) 39. We're celebrating hers and Alexa's birthdays this coming Sunday with a family picnic arranged by Jill at De Leon Springs. I cannot wait, as my brother and his family will be there, my parents, even some of my sister-in-law's cousins. It will be an all-day thing, with hanging out, eating and swimming in the icy cold water of the springs.

Here's a pic of the swimming area.

Jimmy has been wicked busy with work. Just a couple of months ago the 46 million dollar Starbucks project he was working on came to a close, after many months of hard work. Jimmy is Director of Project Engineering for his company, Stellar. He was in charge of overseeing the conception and fruition of Starbucks' newest "green" roasting plant in South Carolina. Starbucks, and hence, Stellar, have just gotten word that they're to receive some sort of construction/engineering award at a formal event we'll be attending on August 7th. Jimmy and two others will be accepting the award for Stellar. I don't know who the moron is that thought it was necessary for us to be picked up at our house in a stretch limo to drive one exit up the highway, but whatever!

This month he's completing a project for Pinnacle Foods in Tennessee. From July 1st, through August 5th, he'll have spent 24 days in TN. Ugh! Don't ask me what they're doing because I'm not quite sure. It may or may not have something to do with pizza.

And I? Haven't been doing much of anything! Just enjoying the long summer days with my kids home from school. Mikayla spent 10 days or so at Jill's house which gave me the opportunity to have time alone with Madison, which was nice. After the picnic on Sunday, Jill is taking Madison home with her for a week or so. We'll be apart on our birthday, but Madison doesn't much care as long as she's with aunt Jill!

Okay, now I want to show you something totally pathetic, k?
That is the inside of my wrist. Look closely to the left. Do you see that dark, dry-looking patch of skin? That is my Farmer's Callus!!!! I shit you not people. That is from where I rest my wrist against the table while I'm farming.

And speaking of the table, I got a new one. Well, it's new to me and it's in fabulous condition. Not quite my style, but for $150 I couldn't pass it up when I found it on Craig's List, especially since I was down to one patio chair.

Awww... look at my little baby computer!

And speaking of my miniature computer, I took this picture last week while Jill was here, basically because the difference in the three computer sizes cracked me up. Well, that and the fact that all three of us were sitting at the table and all three of us were online.
Okay, I do believe that's enough random bullshit to have put you to sleep, don't you agree? But I'll leave you with this short video. Zoe HATES Jill and Gianna. Have absolutely no clue why, but she's been known to jump off of high places to try to attack either one of them. She hisses, spits, and tries to claw their eyes out with the claws she doesn't have. She's bit Gianna several times.

Anyway, Zoe was outside with us and Jill wanted to see if she could get a rise out of her. This is basically play fighting because Jill was antagonizing her. Zoe's usual "attacks" are much worse than this.




Hope all of you have a fabulous week!



Pssst! If you love me, you might love my sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!

Wowzio

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