Gravity Defying Boobies and a Minnesota Moose

So the other day I had a haircut appointment with Larry and needed to run some errands afterward.  I actually got dressed, wore real shoes (meaning not flip flops or Crocs) and even did my makeup.  I tried for a smoky-eye look but wound up looking more like a corpse.  Oh well, lesson learned.

I also wore my new purple bra.  Now when I ordered this thing I didn't realize it was lightly padded.  If there's one thing a chick with DDs does not need, it's extra padding.  But holy cow, I put this puppy on and my girls looked as perky as they did when they were just babies and only a 36 C!

What I thought was perky was actually unnaturally high.  Madison came in my room and said, "Mommy, why are your boobies all the way up there?"  I said, "It's my new bra!  Nice, huh?"  She didn't respond.

So, I'm sitting in Larry's chair and he's whacking away with the razor. I looked in the mirror and saw how ridiculous my ta-tas looked.  I remarked on it to Larry and he said, "Yeah, I was going to ask you about that.  One wrong move and you'll choke yourself."

At one point Sasha came over to show me the hot Fergie boots Larry had just given her for Christmas.  Mister Comedian said, "You missed it.  Justine hiccupped and nearly poked both her eyes out."

Yeah.  I'm rethinking wearing this bra ever again.

So, after my haircut and then nearly 3 hours of errands where most of that time was spent in traffic, I came home and found a package all the way from Minnesota!  Do you know who lives in Minnesota?  Cindy, from Love From Minnesota, that's who!

Cindy lives in this fabulous log cabin home right on a lake.  It's just stunningly beautiful.  And, at her front door she has this enormous moose to greet you.  From the first time I visited her blog, I fell in love with that damn moose.  So, after nearly every comment I've ever left on her blog, I've ended it with something like, "Where's my moose?"  "Send me the moose!"  "I want the moose!"

Obviously Cindy couldn't just pack up her solid wood gigantic moose and mail it to me.  Not that she would even if she could.  I mean, the thing is that cute.  If it were mine, I'd take out an insurance policy on it.

But she did the next best thing!  She sent me a moose Christmas ornament!  O.M.G.  If you could have seen my reaction when I opened that box!  I took the little moose and held it to my cheek, murmuring how much I loved him and would treasure him forever.  Jimmy thought I'd cracked my head or something, but I didn't care.  I plopped down on the coffee table in front of him and said, "Take my picture with the moose!  NOW!"

Never mind that Larry hadn't styled my hair. Never mind that I had corpse eyes.  Never mind that I looked haggard after my traffic experiences.  I had to journal this wonderful moment!

Don't we look so happy together?

You can't really tell in this picture, because I'm hunched over.  But had I been sitting up straight, I probably would have knocked the camera out of Jimmy's hands with my boobs.

Anyway, I loves my moose!  Cindy, if you haven't seen the comment I left on your blog, or the email I sent you the other day, thank you thank you thank you, from the bottom of my heart!!!!  I will love and treasure him forever!

Now someone, help me pick out a name for him!

 Merry Christmas my friends!!!

Pssst! If you love me, you might love my stupid sister more. Go visit her at Jill's Believe it or Not, and tell her I sent you!