What Possessed Me to Interview My 'Tween?

I saw this cute mother/daughter interview on Dawn's blog, Dawn's Diversions, and decided to give it a whirl. I can only plead temporary insanity. What would possess me to interview Mikayla, my 11-year-old-going-on-25, with the hormonal attitude of a 15-year-old? And why couldn't I just leave it at that? Why did I then decide to interview sweet, yet dippy, 7-year-old Madison? I need my damn head examined.

Let's see what we've got here.

1. What is something mom always says to you?
Mikayla: "Bite me"
(Okay yeah, this really puts me in a good light right at the get-go, eh?)
Madison: Clean your room. Clean the family room.
(I'm mean like that.)




2. What makes mom happy?
Mikayla: When us sisters aren't fighting.
(That's true, but that's the best she can come up with?)
Madison: Um, let me think. Me!
(Uh huh, 'tis true.)




3. What makes mom sad?
Mikayla: When family members are sick.
(True, but... BORING!)
Madison: If I don't like the dinner you've made.
(Don't even get me started on these picky eaters!)




4. How does your mom make you laugh?
Mikayla: By being a doofidork (her made-up word, a conjunction of doofus and dork). There's too much. I can't choose just one.
(Gee, thanks Mikayla. You're a peach.)
Madison: If she tickles me.
(What a brilliant mind, eh?)

5. What was your mom like as a child?
Mikayla: Pretty.
(Okay, now the kid is acting like the smart child I know her to be)
Madison: I don't know! How do you think I'd know that?
(Fair enough. It's not like she knew me then.)

Yes, that's really me!

6. How old is your mom?
Mikayla: 39. No. 38. You're turning 39.
(Whew!)
Madison: Uh, 38. I think.
(Wooooooo hoooooooooo! She's not a doofus!)

How I actually feel.

7. How tall is your mom?
Mikayla: 5'3"?
(Ooh, so close. 5'2-1/2")
Madison: Hmmm... I don't know. (Me: Take a guess) 5'?
(Okay, not too bad for a 7-year-old)

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Mikayla: Blog, read, and email.
(She really does know me!)
Madison: She loves calling me a doobedoo, and playing on the computer.
(I'll admit, I do love those two things, just not necessarily in that order.)




9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Mikayla: Sleeps. Cleans???
(Witch)
Madison: Sleep. I don't know what you do when I'm not around!
(Another witch.)

If only I one of these, I could do both at the same time!

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Mikayla: The most amount of blog posts. What? You don't do very much. It's true!
(Witch x 2)
Madison: (chewing Laffy Taffy compulsively) Singing!
(Okay, one kid says I can't sing, the other thinks I'd be famous for it.)



11. What is your mom really good at?
Mikayla: Having nice long talks with me. Cooking chicken wings.
(Okay, she scored points for the first part, but the second part puzzles me since I've only made them once in the last year.)
Madison: Typing.
(In H.S. I used to type 72 wpm. Wonder what it is now?)




12. What is your mom not very good at?
Mikayla: Singing, dancing, and math.
(Hey, I sing just fine, thank you very much! You don't want to see me dance, and 6th grade math is completely over my head. Then again, so is 2nd grade math.)
Madison: Gardening. You never ever plant stuff.
(It's too damn hot in FL to bend over a mound of wormy dirt!)




13. What does your mom do for a job?
Mikayla: Takes care of and loves her family. And the kitties.
(Awwwwwwww)
Madison: Cleans the house.
(Wait, didn't the other kid think I didn't clean?)

Unbelievable! I look exactly like that when I clean!

14.What is your mom's favorite food?
Mikayla: I don't know. You probably don't have one.
(True! I can't think of any one food that I love above all others. I'm an equal opportunity eater)
Madison: Cheese? No, no wait. I can do this better. (She rips out a fart from thinking so hard.) White cheddar popcorn.
(Okay, I cheated. I had to give her hints, and then she only said popcorn, not white cheddar.)



15.What makes you proud of your mom?
Mikayla: For always being a great mommy and for being there for me and Madison when we need her the most.
(Remind me to slip her a 10 later.)
Madison: That she takes care of me.
(Are these kids great, or what?)

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Mikayla: (She laughs hysterically) I'm just thinking of your character traits. You'd be that dumb one in the background that can make everyone laugh. If you were in Sponge Bob you'd be Patrick.
(Great, now I resemble a big pink penis with eyes. Forget to remind me about the tenner)
Madison: Who's that little chicken dude that you can laugh like? (Me: Woody Woodpecker?) Yeah, him!
(Okay, now I'm another kind of pecker. Great.)




17. What do you and your mom do together?
Mikayla: Shop, talk.
(Me loves to shop!)
Madison: We go to Publix.
(Food shopping. This is what she thinks of as together- time?)



18. How are you and your mom the same?
Mikayla: We both agree that Aunt Jill is the best person to ever live. We both love to laugh and drink coffee. And fart.
(Yeah, thanks for tacking that last one on, smarty pants. And don't go blaming me for her new love of coffee. That would be the "best person to ever live" that got her addicted.)
Madison: We're both silly. And we both fart.
(Do you sense a trend here?)





19. How are you and your mom different?
Mikayla: You're in love with chickens and roosters. I think they're stupid, smelly, and gross.
(Oh yeah, that's definitely our biggest difference. Never mind the fact that I don't have any real chickens and roosters here for you to smell. Sheesh!)
Madison: I have kind of long hair and you have short hair.
(Very perceptive, my child.)



20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Mikayla: For so many reasons, but sometimes she'll just randomly say, "Mikayla, I love you." or, "Mikayla, you're so pretty." (Conceited child) Also, you have this song... "Nobody loves meeeeeeeeeeeee... nobody caressssssssssssssss", but you're really just playing around, thinking , "Everyone loves meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... everyone caresssssssssssss."
(Uh huh)
Madison: This one's a hard one. Because you call me a "sweet sweet baby" and kiss me on the nosey.
(Isn't that so sweet?)

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
Mikayla: Either that he helped her raise two beautiful girls (again, sooooo conceited!), or that he's the one who makes the money in the house. I know it's one of them. (Both of us cracking up)
(I know it's one of them too. Heeheehee)
Madison: (whispering in my ear as if it's taboo to say) Because he's cute?
(Hmmm... maybe)






22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Mikayla: I don't think she has a specific favorite place. Just anywhere that she can be with her sister and best friend, Jill, and her favorite kids.
(I'm assuming "favorite kids" includes Alexa and Gianna?)
Madison: Wal-Fart.
(Yes, that's what I call it!)

Justine and Jill, 1990